Day 141

Twenty weeks...the number of weeks we have been mostly at home. The news for my town and county is excellent; according to the Maine CDC website there are currently 1-5 cases of COVID-19 in my town. My county has had a total of 43 cases, no deaths. Maine's positive rate for testing is currently under 1%.

We wear masks and social distance everywhere we go, even at the beach.

We are in a good place. Yet for some reason my anxiety has risen in the last ten days, probably over concern for family in the Boston area, schools everywhere making plans to reopen in some fashion, and my daughter's medical students return to campus in southern Maine. I will have grandchildren in school and a daughter-in-law who works in a public school. I have had trouble sleeping, also a result of hot, sticky weather in the last week. I wake early with thoughts gone wild if I don't consciously reign them in, breathe deeply, and talk my body into relaxing so I can at least rest if I can't get back to sleep.

Tonight the anxiety broke and I am grateful beyond words. It started with a video chat with my daughter about how things went today with my granddaughter. Then we started talking about how the situation with the virus looks statewide and by county. She follows the data closely, monitors updates from the Maine CDC, and tracks the latest medical findings about the virus. Her days are busy and we don't often have a chance for a long in-depth conversation about the current situation. She answers questions any family member has, though we don't take her time or position for granted. Maybe she got a sense of my anxiety. Whatever the reason we had a chance to talk, it has made all the difference in my perspective. I feel hopeful.

I appreciate people who read what I write, and every comment keeps me coming back though it has been weeks since I've posted here. I have all the time in the world and don't feel I am doing all that I want to or could do. That feeling has kept my thoughts spinning, second guessing ideas and plans.

I aim to jump that hurdle and move forward in the days to come. Perspective is everything.