New Music Monday: Keeping Faith

Last month I happened upon the show Keeping Faith on Amazon Prime Video. The tagline reads:

Award-winning actress Eve Myles (Torchwood) stars in this BBC thriller as Faith Howells, a lawyer with a happy marriage until her husband suddenly disappears. As Faith becomes the police's prime suspect, her search for the truth leads her to the criminal underbelly of her quiet town.

It sounded promising and the two seasons were free for the month, so I started watching. I was hooked before the first episode was finished, on the show and the soundtrack. The story draws the viewer in, revealing the backstory bit by bit as the present-day drama moves the story forward. The acting is excellent; the plot is captivating and complicated. And the soundtrack is the perfect backdrop, beautiful and haunting. I enjoyed the music so much sometimes I would replay the intro to hear Faith's Song a second time before an episode started.

I would have watched the two seasons again but opted not to pay for Acorn TV at the time, though I am thinking it would be worth $5.99 a month this winter. There are several other worthy offerings on Acorn that I would enjoy.

In the meantime I managed to find the Keeping Faith soundtrack on CD, available from the UK. The singer/songwriter is Amy Wadge, who wrote, performed, and produced all the songs. It's a CD that I enjoy from beginning to end and then listen to again. She is amazing, and I have since ordered her self-named 2016 album that includes the Grammy-award winning song Thinking Out Loud.

I am going to share the lyrics to Faith's Song, since her character is the star of the series. Each song tells part of the story and is worth a listen in its own right. 

Faith's Song

Gave you all that you needed
You cut but I'm bleeding
And all of my strength that I gave to you

I loved completely
You lose then you leave me
And all of my hope
I left with you too

But I gave my heart whole I did
I gave my heart
And although it's lost
It is still beating
And I gave my whole soul I did
I gave my soul
And although I'm broken
I am still breathing

I will sleep through the moments
All the moments you've stolen
All for my love
I'll learn the truth

That I gave my heart whole I did
I gave my heart
And although it's lost
It is still beating
And I gave my whole soul I did
I gave my soul
And although I'm broken
I am still breathing

New Music Monday: Mercy Now

I decided to share music I discovered this summer because of the following song. A friend sent me a link to a song written and sung by Mary Gauthier. Someone had shared it with her and she thought I'd like it. I do. It could have been written for this exact moment, but the album, Mercy Now, was released in 2004. The entire CD is worth a listen. Mary Gauthier's earthy sound is blues meets country and puts me in mind of Lucinda Williams.

The title song from the album could speak to many situations. I think it is particularly pertinent now as our country suffers from almost four years of a greedy, power hungry, cruel administration that has slashed and burned down institutions with abandon and is the cause of suffering and death on a scale not seen in our country in modern history. 

My online dictionary defines mercy as "compassion or forgiveness shown toward someone whom it is within one's power to punish or harm."  

As the song says, I think every single one of us could use some mercy now.

YouTube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IT7NiFpJmvI

Mercy Now

My father could use a little mercy now
The fruits of his labor fall and rot slowly on the ground
His work is almost over it won't be long, he won't be around
I love my father, he could use some mercy now

My brother could use a little mercy now
He's a stranger to freedom, he's shackled to his fear and his doubt
The pain that he lives in it's almost more than living will allow
I love my bother, he could use some mercy now

My church and my country could use a little mercy now
As they sink into a poisoned pit it's going to take forever to climb out
They carry the weight of the faithful who follow them down
I love my church and country, they could use some mercy now

Every living thing could use a little mercy now
Only the hand of grace can end the race towards another mushroom cloud
People in power, they'll do anything to keep their crown
I love life and life itself could use some mercy now

Yeah, we all could use a little mercy now
I know we don't deserve it but we need it anyhow
We hang in the balance dangle 'tween hell and hallowed ground
And every single one of us could use some mercy now
Every single one of us could use some mercy now
Every single one of us could use some mercy now

New Music Monday: MCC

 I bought a  number of CDs this summer, some by long-loved artists and some new to me. I thought it would be fun to share my favorites here.   

I load up the player Monday mornings for background music while we start our weekly visit with our granddaughter. We are lucky in Maine to have a locally owned store that sells new and used CDs and DVDs, and they offer free shipping with each $35 purchase [Bull Moose Music if you want to check them out]. I enjoy the new music as well as often-played favorites from our collection, and some days I put together a particularly well-conceived set. Luckily, some artists complement just about any other choices.

Mary Chapin Carpenter is just such an artist. I was going to share her 2020 release next week, but MDK [Modern Daily Knitting] just posted a review of her latest CD, which is worth a read if you feel so inclined. I have enjoyed her artistry for 30 years. Her music is sometimes soulful and sometimes lighthearted, always honest and poetic. The Dirt and the Stars is so perfect for this year that it's hard to believe she crafted the songs before the pandemic. I will play this magical mix over and over for months to come.

Here's the title song~

Between the Dirt and the Stars

Try to conjure up a night
Of jessamine upon the air
I'm 17 and in a car,
ready to ride anywhere
This summer night sticks to my skin
And the beer's gone to my head
My arm hangs out the window 
And I can't hear what you just said -

Over the radio
wild wild horses
everything you'll ever know
is in the choruses

Everything that made you whole
Everything that broke your heart
Whatever called you by your soul
And piece by piece took you apart
Every spark you ever chased
All the faith love robbed you of
Every light the dark erased
And every cause that gave you up

Turn on the radio
wild wild horses
everywhere we'd ever go
is in the choruses

Standing on the porch tonight
All I hear is a distant car
Watching the fading light
Between the dirt and the stars
Between the rough and smooth 
The easy and the hard
The lonely sound of loneliness 
That's shaped just like my heart

Years will pass before we turn
To face the place where we come from
Years will pass before we learn
What time denies to everyone
And if we're lucky ghosts and prayers
Are company not enemies
I time travel straight back there
When you were singing back to me

Along with the radio
wild wild horses
everything we'll ever know
is in the choruses

Over the radio
wild wild horses
everywhere we'll ever go
is in the choruses

July So Far

July started with the purchase of a 2015 GMC Sierra truck. I have driven it once, and it feels big. I will need to get used to driving a truck again because it has been many years. This is what it looks like in our driveway~

The next two nights we stayed in Bar Harbor, and the first morning the harbor was fogged in~

It cleared by late morning. That afternoon we drove to Northeast Harbor to visit Thuya Gardens, a unique place we discovered 31 years ago and have not been back to see since. It is quite the hike up a hill to the top~

From that same spot I looked back to see Northeast Harbor~

There was still a ways to go. We will stop at the lookout on our way down~

There is an enormous wooden gate at the entrance to the gardens~

And the place is as beautiful and peaceful as we remembered~

Many flowers had gone by, yet the beauty remained~

The peonies were still stunning~

From the lookout I could see the harbor flow into the ocean~

That weekend was a great way to start July. The next week I finished the top to my grandson's quilt~

The weather on the second Saturday in July was perfect for the outdoor concert with Langhorne Slim and The Law~

A friend is dealing with a bear of a health challenge. I decided she needs a quilt in turquoise and rose. I have finished the top~

So there are projects to work on in August, when I get back from a visit with my son and his family in California. My granddaughter turned 1 yesterday, and we have been invited to a party;)

August Transition

The first few years I taught I looked forward to and dreaded summer in equal parts.  I looked forward to unscheduled days with my kids, warm sunny weather, time to do the things I enjoyed, and the chance to catch up on all the appointments and home maintenance I didn't have time for during the school year.  I would hit the ground running the day after school ended and go full tilt until the day school started up again.  I wore myself out and never felt like I got everything done.

At some point I figured out that I couldn't save all the fun stuff or all the chores for the time between school years.  I was curious to see if I could remember to live that lesson this summer.

It helped that Ken and I left on vacation just two days after school ended in June.  The trip was literally a "break" in my routine and took us to places we hadn't been before.

It was a summer for a variety of firsts.  Ken and I bought season tickets to the Maine State Music Theater, a slate of four performances at the theater on Bowdoin College Campus.  The musicals this summer were The Full Monty, Sister Act, The Music Man, and Young Frankenstein.  We enjoyed each one and the fun story lines were especially appreciated.

The two quilting retreats were another first for me.  Each experience took me out of my comfort zone and gave me the opportunity to stretch.  It was fun to learn new techniques, meet quilters and designers whose work I admire, and work beside women I wouldn't have met otherwise.

The retreats gave me something else too ~ the joy I feel when I create and sew.  I had forgotten that just twenty minutes of sewing gives me a chance to change gears and recharge.  Even working at twenty-minute intervals projects move forward, and during the time in between I'm thinking about and planning what comes next. 

I haven't rushed to finish anything this summer.  Like quilting, life is a work in progress.

Slow Stitching block for Color Quilt

Block in Completely Cauchy style

"Roberta" block for Color Quilt

Flower Gardens

More than forty years ago my Great Aunt Kate, who raised my mom and in my eyes was my grandmother, started a quilt.  For decades she had saved scraps from every piece of clothing she had made so she could someday make a quilt.  Over the course of years she cut small hexagons from the fabric and started making "flowers" for what I have named Kate's Flower Garden Quilt~

As she pieced the quilt she included single hexagons in various patterns among the flowers she'd sewn together~

The result was a colorful array of hexagons, some organized and some not, in an unfinished odd-shaped quilt top, which I inherited.  Aunt Kate had envisioned a quilt backed in lavender, so I bought a sheet in that color and stored it away with the quilt top for many years.  I just wasn't sure how to finish it off.  I don't remember when I pulled it out to see what I could do, but it was at least a dozen years ago, because I decided it made no sense to have something so dear to my late aunt stowed away in a dark closet.  I took pieces from one end and added them to one side to even up the size and shape.  I didn't want to lose the unique zig-zag edge so I hand stitched the top onto the sheet, the edges of the sheet folded under the quilt to create a pastel frame for the memories in fabric my dear aunt collected over decades~

I saved all the left-over pieces with the thought that someday I would find a creative way to join them together with other fabrics that held special meaning.  That day came three years ago when I was re-organizing my own stash of scraps and came across the fabrics I had saved from a quilt I made my daughter the year before. I sewed hexagon "flowers" onto brightly colored squares.   I also had several strips in those colors, as well as some salvaged strips of strawberry fabric from some unknown source saved solely because the pattern reminded me of Aunt Kate.  I put all of it aside until I pulled it out again last summer and laid it out on the living floor to see what could be done to bring it all together.  I remembered a large piece of fabric, that I bought so long ago I don't remember where it came from, that held all the same bright colors.  A second, smaller Kate's Flower Garden Quilt II came together.  This week I finished the hand quilting.  I think Aunt Kate would approve~    

The backing fabric is printed with the words of the song "Simple Gifts," a song we sang around the camp fire all the years Ken and I attended family camp with the kids at Pilgrim Lodge in West Gardiner, Maine.  According to Wikipedia, "Simple Gifts" was written by Elder Joseph Brackett in 1848 while he was at the Shaker community in Alfred, Maine. These are the lyrics to his one-verse song:

'Tis the gift to be simple, 'tis the gift to be free

'Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be,

And when we find ourselves in the place just right,

'Twill be in the valley of love and delight.

When true simplicity is gained,

To bow and to bend we shan't be ashamed,

To turn, turn will be our delight,

Till by turning, turning we come 'round right.

Trust Your Cape

 Obstacles.  Decisions.  Blessings and disappointments.

Life happens.

Years ago I was lucky enough to attend a concert where Lyle Lovett, Johh Hiatt, Guy Clark, and Joe Ely all performed on stage at Merrill Auditorium, one of the nicest concert venues we have in Maine.  Songwriters all, every bit of music was amazing.  It didn't matter whether it was familiar or heard for the first time, every song delighted the audience.

One song stands out when I think of that concert.  It came to mind tonight....
 
The Cape
   by Guy Clark, Jim Janosky, Susanna Wallis Clark

Eight years old with a flour sack cape tied all around his neck
He climbed up on the garage, he's figurin' what the heck, well
He screwed his courage up so tight that the whole thing come unwound
He got a runnin' start and bless his heart, he's headed for the ground

Well, he's one of those who knows that life is just a leap of faith
Spread your arms and hold your breath and always trust your cape

Now, he's all grown up with a flour sack cape tied all around his dream
And he's full of spit and vinegar and he's bustin' at the seam
Well, he licked his finger and he checked the wind, it's gonna be do or die
And he wasn't scared of nothin', boys, he was pretty sure he could fly

Well, he's one of those who knows that life is just a leap of faith
Spread your arms and hold your breath and always trust your cape

Now, he's old and gray with a flour sack cape tied all around his head
And he's still jumpin' off the garage and will be till he's dead
All these years the people said, he was actin' like a kid
He did not know he could not fly and so he did

Well, he's one of those who knows that life is just a leap of faith
Spread your arms and hold your breath and always trust your cape
Yes, he's one of those who knows that life is just a leap of faith
Spread your arms and hold your breath and always trust your cape

Sing A Song A Sign

I came late to compact disc player ownership.  I had a fine record collection and didn't think those small shiny discs would ever replace vinyl.  I held out as long as I could, but the time came when the music I wanted to buy was not available on vinyl because CDs had indeed caught on.

It didn't take long for me to see why CDs were so popular ~ an entire "record" would play with one touch of the finger.  I was soon a fan.  I didn't have to stop painting or cooking or washing windows to turn the record over halfway through.

Imagine my amazement, years later, when we purchased a CD player that held five discs.  With years of practice I have perfected use of the shuffle mode that plays songs from the discs at random. I pride myself on my ability to "mix" music so that the artists and songs complement each other and provide hours of enjoyable listening.

My daughter enjoys a lot of the same music I do.  When she visits, she will sometimes put a mix together.  Other times she starts the music that's already in the player, and tonight that was her choice.

My daughter's last twenty-four hours have been busy.  It is one thing to make plans; it is something else altogether when everything that needs to happen falls into place all at once.  Someone made an offer on my daughter's house last evening, and it's only been listed for four weeks.  Today she made an offer on a house that was listed just yesterday.  And now things need to happen at warp speed....

So tonight's mix of the music of John Hiatt, Maia Sharp, Toad the Wet Sprocket, Van Morrison, and Alanis Morissette was just the right sound at the end of an overwhelming day.  We had a meal of delicious leftovers and plotted all the possible things to do next with no way to know what tomorrow holds, much less what next week looks like.  My daughter and her dog said good-night and as I heard her car door close, Alanis Morissette came on the stereo.  It was too perfect for me not to share.  It really "is that everything's gonna be fine fine fine."  

"Hand In My Pocket"
by Alanis Morissette

I'm broke but I'm happy
I'm poor but I'm kind
I'm short but I'm healthy, yeah
I'm high but I'm grounded
I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed
I'm lost but I'm hopeful baby
What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be fine fine fine
'cause I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a high five

I feel drunk but I'm sober
I'm young and I'm underpaid
I'm tired but I'm working, yeah
I care but I'm restless
I'm here but I'm really gone
I'm wrong and I'm sorry baby

What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be quite alright
'cause I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is flicking a cigarette
And what it all comes down to
Is that I haven't got it all figured out just yet
'cause I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving the peace sign

I'm free but I'm focused
I'm green but I'm wise
I'm hard but I'm friendly baby
I'm sad but I'm laughing
I'm brave but I'm chickenshit
I'm sick but I'm pretty baby

And what it all boils down to
Is that no one's really got it figured out just yet
'cause I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is playing the piano
And what it all comes down to my friends
Is that everything's just fine fine fine
'cause I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is hailing a taxi cab

[Harmonica solo]

After The Darkness

I have been breathing deeply and moving slowly.  My sore ribs and pounding heart are taking a long time to heal.

My sorrow is deep, for the loss of innocent lives and for the families of Newtown whose lives will never be the same.  The tears come when I least expect them.    

The words that run through my mind are
There are no stars tonight, only tears that fall.

I have searched for a reference to a poem or song that contains the phrase but have found none.

This morning I lit candles while I mixed cookie dough.  I have so much to be grateful for while families have lost the light of their lives.

Breathing deeply and moving slowly....

Then I put on the first music I have listened to in days, my newest favorite CD The Calling by Mary Chapin Carpenter.  I played it so often when my son was home that he asked me if I had it on repeat.  There in the last song are not the exact words I have been looking for, but I did find the words of hope for light after the darkness ~ 

Bright Morning Star

Last night I dreamed my head was in a fever
Last night I dreamed it never was so far
To reach a shore of safety and redemption
And to gaze upon a bright morning star

I dreamed I was by friends all but abandoned
I dreamed I was alone but for my scars
And blinded by the tears that fell like water
No more to see my bright morning star

The streets of dreams never looked this lonely
The streets of dreams never felt this hard
I heard my voice barely of a whisper
As the clouds denied a bright morning star

Sometimes this life is no more than a moment
And sometimes the light is lost unto the dark
But courage hears the sound of dawn approaching
And each our own bright morning star

I woke to find every window open
I woke to find the heavy door ajar
And I walked outside and stood upon the hilltop
And gazed once more on a bright morning star

I walked outside and every bird was singing
As I found again my bright morning star.

by Mary Chapin Carpenter, 2006.

Providence

I had a great time last weekend in Providence. My daughter drove her new car, Sallie Mae ~

We started Saturday morning at a farmers' market that surpassed any indoor market I've ever had the pleasure to visit. Located in an old mill, just inside the entrance is a great hall where you can buy coffee, maple syrup, baked goods, and chowder. In the hallway, just beyond the windows, were dozens of vendors of every type of food you can imagine, books, jewelry, candy, and violins ~

Speaking of violins ~

Downtown we lunched on black bean wraps and salad ~

And walked along the Basin ~

Where throughout the spring and summer, on designated evenings, braziers set on fire will fill the area with light during WaterFire ~

We ended the day with live music by The Superchief Trio [a five-piece band] to celebrate the release of their latest CD. Great swing music with a jazzy flair ~

Thanks to our hostess, Katie, for a wonderful weekend. There is a lot to do in Providence, and Ken and I are planning a trip to enjoy WaterFire and some of that Providence culture.

Company From California

Our company from California arrived Friday afternoon. They brought their own 42-foot accommodations with them, as well as their canine traveling companions. Notice Alpine, a standard poodle, playing at the back of the rig ~
While Daisy, a pointer/lab mix, found a cool place under the deck to have a rest ~

On Saturday we attended a free concert at LL Bean in Freeport. It was a gorgeous evening to hear Marty and Ellie of the Court Yard Hounds, formerly of the Dixie Chicks, fiddle and strum ~

In front of a large friendly crowd of relaxed concert-goers ~

On Sunday we drove to the Coastal Maine Botanical Gardens in Boothbay, 248 acres of paths and gardens ~

Out-buildings and full-to-the-brim flowerbeds ~

Ponds and water features ~

And paths through the woods which may lead you to the fairy village ~

It's always a pleasure to see Bonnie, a friend from the time my daughter was an infant more than 31 years ago. We don't see each other often, so we make the most of the time we have when we get together ~

Summer feels like summer with a visit from an old friend.

Only A Dream

I have been on both ends of taking leave.

The one who leaves...and the one who is left behind.

Even if you want to go and know it's for the best, it can be hard to leave.

As hard as it is to leave, it hurts more to be left behind.

* * * * * * * * * *
The song in my head this week is by Mary Chapin Carpenter. Years ago Ken heard one of her songs on the radio and thought I would enjoy her music. We bought her current CD at the time and have been fans ever since. Eighteen years later this haunting song still touches my heart.

Only A Dream
by Mary Chapin Carpenter, from the album Come On Come On, 1992

I can recall the sound of the wind,
as it blew through the trees
and the trees would bend
And I can recall the smell of the rain
on a hot summer night coming through the screen.
I'd crawl in your bed when the lightning flashed
and I'd still be there when the storm had passed
Dead to the world till the morning cast
its light all around your room.

We lived on a street where the tall elm shade
was as green as the grass and as cool as a blade
That you held in your teeth as we lay on our backs
staring up at the blue,
and the blue stared back.
I used to believe we were just like those trees,
we'd grow just as tall and as proud as we pleased
With our feet on the ground and our arms in the breeze
under a sheltering sky.

Twirl me about and twirl me around
Let me grow dizzy and fall to the ground
And when I look up at you looking down
Say it was only a dream.

A big truck was parked in the drive one day,
They wrapped us in paper and moved us away.
Your room was no longer next door to mine,
This kid sister thing was old by that time.
But oh how our dreams went bump in the night
and the voices downstairs getting into a fight
and the next day a silence you could cut with a knife
and feel like a blade at your throat.

Twirl me about and twirl me around
Let me grow dizzy and fall to the ground
And when I look up at you looking down
Say it was only a dream.

The day you left home you got an early start,
I watched your car back out in the dark.
I opened the door to your room down the hall,
I turned on the light and all that I saw
Was a bed and a desk and couple of tacks
No sign of someone who expects to be back.
It must've been one hell of a suitcase you packed.

Twirl me about and twirl me around
Let me grow dizzy and fall to the ground
And when I look up at you looking down
Say it was only a dream.

Sleep And Rain

Sleep. It felt awkward to write about my problems with sleep, but I am glad I did.

First, I feel better knowing that I am not the only one who has dealt with sleep issues. I honestly thought that post-menopause would bring better sleep, not worse.

Second, I am so far from what most of you have found that works that I am going in the opposite direction: late night desserts; a glass of wine with the thought that it will help me relax; no regular bedtime or get-up time; laying in bed fretting in the middle of the night; neglecting to buy another bottle of calcium/magnesium when I ran out; not trying any natural herbs that promote sleep; and not paying attention when I am tired. I didn't start doing all the unhelpful things at once, but one thing led to another which led to another and I didn't know how to get back on track.

Now I can make a fresh start. Thank you.

Rain. Pounding rain hit my area Wednesday night. I was actually on my way out to meet a friend when she called to say heavy rain was on its way and tornado warnings were up for the counties south of us. I battened down the hatches and watched it pour. I expected some damage to our newly planted hillside and newly laid steps, and there was. It could have been worse ~ we didn't get a tornado. But there are deep rivulets through the plants, where the roots are hanging on for dear life, and dirt and mulch to reclaim and put back where it belongs. I have a dozen new plants in my car that will, hopefully, hold more soil in place until everything settles in enough to stay put.

The song in my head this week is "Rain" by Patty Griffin. I have listened to this song many, many times over the past eight years but today I heard it in a way I've never heard it before. Some may hear it as a sad love song. Today I heard it as an internal plea for an open heart, a way to live I haven't lived before. There are things I have been unable to give myself, and now I want a chance to try again.

Rain
by Patty Griffin, from the album 1000 Kisses, 2002

It's hard to listen to a hard hard heart
Beating close to mine
Pounding up against the stone and steel
Walls that I won't climb
Sometimes a hurt is so deep deep deep
You think that you're gonna drown
Sometimes all I can do is weep weep weep
With all this rain falling down

Strange how hard it rains now
Rows and rows of big dark clouds
But I'm holding on underneath this shroud
Rain

It's hard to know when to give up the fight
The things that you wanted that will never be right
It's never rained like it has tonight before
I don't want to beg you baby
For something maybe you could never give
I'm not looking for the rest of your life
I just want another chance to live

Strange how hard it rains now
Rows and rows of big dark clouds
But I'm holding on underneath this shroud
Rain

Strange how hard it rains now
Rows and rows of big dark clouds
But I'm still alive underneath this shroud
Rain

SIMH: Coming Around Again

Songs in my head. Summertime is prime time for music, especially songs from the past. Music marks time for me. The soundtrack of my life is peppered with songs by artists like Carly Simon, James Taylor, Mary Chapin Carpenter, John Hiatt, and Patty Griffin.

When I was 30, life as I had known it for thirty years fell apart. I didn't know then, like I do now, that that had to happen to make room for the person I was learning to be. There's only room for one "me" in my life.

Although the changes in my life are not as radical this time around, they are as significant.

The song by Carly Simon that I thought of as my theme song in 1986 has been one of the songs in my mind:

Coming Around Again
from the album of the same name, 1986

Baby sneezes
Mommy pleases
Daddy breezes in
So good on paper
So romantic
But so bewildering

I know nothing stays the same
But if you're willing to play the game
It's coming around again
So don't mind if I fall apart
There's more room in a broken heart

You pay the grocer
Fix the toaster
Kiss the host good-bye
Then you break a window
Burn the souffle
Scream the lullaby

I know nothing stays the same
But if you're willing to play the game
It's coming around again
So don't mind if I fall apart
There's more room in a broken heart

And I believe in love
But what else can I do
I'm so in love with you

I know nothing stays the same
But if you're willing to play the game
It will be coming around again

I Dreamed A Dream

Susan Boyle has released her first CD.  I think her voice is amazing.  

I recently saw Oprah interview Susan Boyle, who showed incredible poise.  She is handling her newly found fame with grace and humor.  Susan has found a way to remain true to herself while she navigates the maze of celebrity and shares her talent with the world.

That is no small task.

Why are some people able to make the best of what life has to offer, while others suffer under the weight of daily living?

Today a friend sent me an email with the words of the song from Les Miserables that Susan Boyle has made famous all over again.  I share it here in memory of those who have not been able to hold the tigers at bay.

I Dreamed A Dream

as sung by Susan Boyle

I dreamed a dream in time gone by

When hope was high

And life worth living

I dreamed that love would never die

I prayed that God would be forgiving

Then I was young and unafraid

And dreams were made and used and wasted

There was no ransom to be paid

No song unsung, no wine untasted

  

But the tigers come at night

With their voices soft as thunder

As they tear your hopes apart

And they turn your dream to shame

 

Still I dream he'll come to me

That we will live the years together

But there are dreams that cannot be

And there are storms we cannot weather

 

I had a dream my life would be

So different from this hell I'm living

So different now from what it seemed

Now life has killed the dream I dreamed

The music is by Claude-Michel Schönberg, with orchestrations by John Cameron. The English lyrics are by Herbert Kretzmer, based on the originalFrench libretto by Alain Boublil.

Just Breathe

Once a month I have a massage.

I learned the hard way about the benefits of massage therapy almost fifteen years ago. My neck was so stiff I couldn't turn my head, my hips were out of alignment, and my anxiety level was at an all-time high. I noticed a difference after my first session with a therapist, and over the next several months I found that massage was good for my body, mind, and spirit. Massage therapy became part of my health maintenance plan.

I have been seeing my current massage therapist for ten years. We know a lot about each other, and she knows my body as well as I do. We start each session with a conversation about what's new and how my body has been feeling.

On Friday I told her my shoulders were stiff and my lower back ached.

She asked about my breathing.

I told her that I caught myself holding my breath.

She said that when we deny our bodies oxygen things get stuck and energy can't flow. Her suggestion was to get the energy moving again. By the time she was finished, my shoulders felt better and my back didn't hurt.

I took a few deep breaths and felt my entire body relax.

My task since the massage has been to keep my breath flowing and the energy moving. It's easiest to do before I go to sleep at night and when I wake up in the morning. I lay in bed and focus on breathing in and out. The challenge is to continue the process throughout the day, and the reward is to feel better all over.

At the top of my to-do list this week-end has been a simple thing that makes a big difference ~ remember to breathe.

This experience reminded me of one of my favorite songs of 2004,
Breathe (2 AM) by Anna Nalick. The chorus has been running through my mind:

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button, girl
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe...just breathe.

Simple Gifts

Elsewhere, much has already been said and written about President Obama's inaugural speech. His original presentation was flawless. Then I read the text, and I've heard excerpts throughout the afternoon and evening. I am sure I will read it again several times because it seems like more of a blueprint for the coming months than a one-shot deal. The new president told it like it is. I expect he will continue to remind us where we are and what we need to do to get where we're going.

In addition to the speech, there were two highlights of the day for me.

The second runner-up was the appearance of President and Mrs. Obama as they left their car and walked up Pennsylvania Avenue. With style and presence, the couple smiled and waved at the throngs of people who lined the Avenue.

The first runner-up, tied with the speech really, was the performance of "Air and Simple Gifts" by Yo Yo Ma, Itzhak Perlman, a clarinetist, and a pianist. While the piece was a new arrangement by John Williams, the essence was a Shaker hymn called "Simple Gifts." The words I remember came immediately to mind. The broad smile on Yo Yo Ma's face mirrored how I was feeling today. I pray that the words of the hymn portend where we are headed as a country:

Simple Gifts
'Tis the gift to be simple,
'Tis the gift to be free,
'Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be,
And when we find ourselves in the place just right,
it will be in the valley of Love and Delight.

When true simplicity is gained,
to bow and to bend we will not be ashamed,
To turn and to turn will be our delight,
'till by turning, turning we come 'round right.

With a lot of hard work, and by the grace of God, may we come 'round right.

A Place In The World

It started snowing late last night. Fine crystals of white quietly blanketed the world outside.

I went to bed after midnight but I couldn't sleep. I got up at 1:00 to look outside. The deck had a layer of white, snow still gently falling.

Since I was up, I checked the computer. My daughter had posted for the first time in weeks. She had decided to share her intention to convert to Judaism. I knew, but I didn't realize she was ready for others to know. She knows I'm writing about it now.

For well over a year my daughter has been exploring her options with regard to converting. She has accumulated a small library of books, attended services at temple, and met with the rabbi. She has ahead of her at least another year of study, services, and meetings.

This is a journey she started a decade ago. While she was at college she attended a variety of churches, and during the summers she worked as a lifeguard at a UCC summer camp. I encouraged her curiosity.

When I was in college I attended Sunday morning services at a Lutheran church because I liked the minister and his sermons; I joined a youth group at a Methodist church because I enjoyed the sense of community; and I savored the sermons from my church at home, a progressive Church of the Brethren in Washington, D.C., because I missed the open-minded perspective of the church that I had known since I was a child.

My husband and I love our daughter. We will honor her decision and work as a family to meld our beliefs and holy days. The irony of this journey for my daughter, born on Christmas Eve and baptized on Easter Sunday, is not lost on me. The world works in mysterious ways.

I woke this morning to the cushioned quiet that only snow can provide. I thought about my daughter, a young woman searching for ways to live her faith. I thought about me, a woman in mid-life looking for ways to live my purpose. We are each looking for a place in the world, a journey beautifully described in the lyrics of Mary Chapin Carpenter:

A Place In the World

from the album of the same name, 1996

What I'm looking for, after all this time

Keeps me moving forward, trying to find it

Since I learned to walk all I've done is run

Ready, on my mark, doesn't everyone

Need a place in the world.

Could be right before your very eyes

Just beyond a door that's open wide

Could be far away or in your own backyard

There are those who say, you can look too hard

For your place in the world.

Takes some of us a little longer

A few false starts gonna make you stronger

When I'm sure I've finally found it

Gonna wrap these arms all around it.

Could be one more mile, or just one step back

In a lover's smile, down a darkened path

Friends will take our side, enemies will curse us

But to be alive is to know your purpose

It's your place in the world

Your place in the world

Your place in the world.

High on Hiatt

Ken and I had the experience of the summer last night - an outdoor concert by our favorite singer/songwriter on the perfect August evening at the flagship LLBean store in Freeport. The concert was free, but you never would have known that by the performance John Hiatt and The Ageless Beauties put on for the crowd. From the opening with "The Tiki Bar is Open" through three encore numbers, it was two hours of pure joy. We sang, tapped, swayed, clapped, and were happily carried away by music and lyrics.

John played guitar all evening and was accompanied by band members on guitar, bass, and drums. We usually see him perform solo, so we enjoyed watching his delight in playing with a band. John was on fire last night. The energy on stage was electric and palpable. The crowd cheered with recognition as each song began. We know his music, and we're not afraid to sing along.

There were surprises, too. John played a guitar intro to "Cry Love" that we've never heard, and he sang the last encore of "Have a Little Faith in Me" while he played guitar instead of the usual keyboard. No complaints about the missing keyboard; the back-up band was a fair trade.

Ken and I discovered the singer John Hiatt in 1994. Unknowingly we had been listening to his songs for years, songs sung by a variety of artists. One night at dinner Ken and I wondered if the other had heard the song "Perfectly Good Guitar" on the radio. Yes! The song was enjoying air play on our favorite station, and we listened for more music by John Hiatt. We were not disappointed when we heard "Walk On" and "Cry Love." The purchase of CDs followed, and we attended our first John Hiatt concert in 1995.

Last night was an evening to remember. It may well be the highlight of our summer. And the best thing? We have his music on CD to keep us in tune until his next concert.