This Blogging Thing

Ten days ago a blogging friend, Starrlife at Life Decanted, wrote a post about making friends through blogging. I've read it several times, and it touches my heart every time. I know what she means. I, too, have made friends through blogging.

I have tried to explain blogging to people who do not blog. Last fall I mentioned it to the woman I see for acupuncture, and she said she'd never read a blog. I said, well, she had a lot going on in her life, while I was glad to make friends with other women online. It was an emotional disclosure. I hadn't realized how lonely I was.

Sunday a week ago I called my mother to let her know about my son's engagement. I told her that I knew she didn't read my blog, where I made the announcement, so I wanted her to hear the news from me. She said she just didn't get to the computer much. I had hoped that this space would be a way to keep in touch with family and friends, and it works some of the time with some people.

The unexpected result of writing here has been making friends with women who have been willing to share their experiences and encouragement. I can't imagine my life without these relationships. There are days when I don't talk to another person, but I can always connect with other women online. These connections have been a lifeline during a time of prolonged transition, a time of change that I didn't anticipate and haven't always handled well.

I awoke this morning to cold temperatures and a list of things that needed to get done. I started the coffee, fed the cat, and sat down at the computer. There were new comments on my latest post ~ connection, understanding, validation. I could do what I had to do. It was a new day and I was not alone.

Thank you to all who visit here. I appreciate your presence and support more than I can express.

Oprah, Caroline, and Michelle

I live my life in relative anonymity. In the past two years I have been attempting to find a place in my post-children, post-menopause world. I have made mistakes and false starts, and I have had days where it was all I could do to get out of bed. I have had the luxury of facing these changes and challenges in the privacy of my own home. People only know what I choose to share, if and when I decide to share the details.

Not so for Oprah Winfrey, Caroline Kennedy, and Michelle Obama.

I give Oprah credit for telling it like it is. She started this year with an article in her magazine and an interview on her show about her weight gain. Oprah is 50+ and menopausal, like millions of women who watch her show. Unlike most women, Oprah has a team of health professionals to call on; she has invited them into her studio to work with her on behalf of other women in the same situation. Oprah may be disappointed with herself, but she is not giving up.

I give Caroline Kennedy credit for throwing her hat in the ring for consideration as senator of New York. She is a lawyer, author, fund-raiser, wife, and mother. She has spent the last two decades out of the limelight, working and taking care of her family. She decided to test the political waters, which turned out to be cold and full of sharks. There was no way for her to know what the result would be, but she took the risk anyway.

I give Michelle Obama credit for her sense of style and the confidence with which she has taken on the role of First Lady. Until two years ago she was a working professional, wife, and mother. Then she put her husband's aspirations for the presidency ahead of everything else. Michelle went on the road to campaign for her husband, while her mother moved in to help with the children. I don't know what Michelle anticipated her life with Barack would be, when they married sixteen years ago. I doubt she planned a move to the White House when she was 45 years old; she lives there now and looks like she can handle anything that comes her way.

Oprah, Caroline, and Michelle are women in the prime of their life. I admire their grace and courage as they make changes and take risks while the world looks on. They are extraordinary role models for women of all ages. If they can face mid-life in the public eye, surely I can manage the changes I face in my own life.

Of Doors, Drinks, and Digital TV

I am on a post-inauguration high. It feels as if anything is possible.

My doors look great. Ken commented on how white they look. In addition to a fresh coat of white on the flat surfaces, I painted the edges where the front and back meet the edge. What a difference that made.

As I mentioned last Friday, Ken made me a whiskey sour. We hadn't had whiskey or sour mix in the house for many years. We were joking over the holidays about the drinks we used to order in our younger days, and the story sparked a gift idea for Ken's birthday.

The television saga continues. Ken made an antenna that will pick up the digital signal for PBS and CBS, if we hook it up in the house. Last week-end he took it outside and hooked it up in place of our analog antenna. No reception inside. We want to try it in a variety of positions on the porch and deck to see if the location matters. The idea is to figure this out before we actually invest money in a digital antenna. Time is growing short. We lose the analog signal on February 17. The Academy Awards will be telecast on February 22.

Simple Gifts

Elsewhere, much has already been said and written about President Obama's inaugural speech. His original presentation was flawless. Then I read the text, and I've heard excerpts throughout the afternoon and evening. I am sure I will read it again several times because it seems like more of a blueprint for the coming months than a one-shot deal. The new president told it like it is. I expect he will continue to remind us where we are and what we need to do to get where we're going.

In addition to the speech, there were two highlights of the day for me.

The second runner-up was the appearance of President and Mrs. Obama as they left their car and walked up Pennsylvania Avenue. With style and presence, the couple smiled and waved at the throngs of people who lined the Avenue.

The first runner-up, tied with the speech really, was the performance of "Air and Simple Gifts" by Yo Yo Ma, Itzhak Perlman, a clarinetist, and a pianist. While the piece was a new arrangement by John Williams, the essence was a Shaker hymn called "Simple Gifts." The words I remember came immediately to mind. The broad smile on Yo Yo Ma's face mirrored how I was feeling today. I pray that the words of the hymn portend where we are headed as a country:

Simple Gifts
'Tis the gift to be simple,
'Tis the gift to be free,
'Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be,
And when we find ourselves in the place just right,
it will be in the valley of Love and Delight.

When true simplicity is gained,
to bow and to bend we will not be ashamed,
To turn and to turn will be our delight,
'till by turning, turning we come 'round right.

With a lot of hard work, and by the grace of God, may we come 'round right.

Shoveling Out

I celebrated Martin Luther King Day this year under a blanket of snow, a result of the largest snowfall we've had in over two years. It was perhaps the best way to celebrate today and think about tomorrow's historic inauguration ~ outside, in the quiet sunshine, shoveling the fluffy frozen crystals. My first task was to free the mailbox, buried by repeated passes of the snow plow; the mail carrier will not leave mail if s/he cannot drive right up to make the delivery:

I needed to uncover my car. I've been parking outside since I put studded tires on the car because I don't want to damage the concrete floor in the garage. I'm ready to rethink that decision:

I started for the deck, but I couldn't find the steps until I started shoveling:

Once at the top, this was the scene behind me in the side yard. Charlie, my mother's husband, made those wind chimes for my mom. She gave the chimes to us because Charlie says they're too noisy. That is "West Virginia" painted in blue:

Ken used the snow blower to clear out the driveway last evening. He estimated we had 15" of snow, and it was still coming down. This morning I measured 20" on the deck:

It took me almost an hour to clear this half of the deck. That is our analog antenna, which will be obsolete in 29 days:

I will finish shoveling tomorrow, before the inauguration of President Barack Obama. I want to see him take the oath of office. I want to hear his speech. I want to honor this light at the end of eight long years as the people of America get their country back.

An Engaging Week-end

I interrupt regularly scheduled posting to bring you this special announcement: my oldest son is engaged to be married. Today, on the snow-covered bank of the Charles River, he proposed to his girlfriend of three years, and she said yes.

Ken and I are delighted.

We first met C almost three years ago, when P brought her home for a week-end. I had had a busy week, and I was feeling frazzled when I picked them up at the bus station. P greeted me with, "Be nice, Mom. I really like this girl." I will never forget that ~ he was nervous. He had no reason to worry. We liked each other from the start.

Welcome to our family, C.

Plans, Part 2

On Wednesday I removed doorknobs from all seven interior doors in our house. I washed both sides of each door and taped all the hinges. Then I donned my paint clothes: jeans + my oldest son's cast off Arizona shirt + my daughter's oversized Champion sweatshirt. I was ready to paint. By Wednesday night I had finished the first coat.

Thursday morning I started again. I donned my paint clothes. There were places to recoat, and I found other spots of woodwork to prime and paint. I had two kinds of paint open, a roller in a paint pan, and two more brushes at the ready. Mid-afternoon I took a break to walk on the treadmill....

and the phone rang. It was my daughter. What was I doing for dinner? Well, with Ken out of town and little in the fridge or cupboard, I was having leftover quiche and morning glory muffins made with my last two eggs. That sounds good, she said. So I told her to come ahead.

Dinner was delicious. I made a pot of coffee. We were glad to have the time to visit and catch up....

and the phone rang. It was Ken. He was on his way home! He would be home on Friday! I calmly explained that there was no food here and he should grab a bite on his way home or plan to heat up a can of soup. He said that was fine and he would be home in less than an hour.

I still had painting to finish and cleaning up to do. My daughter left, my husband heated up a can of soup, and I went back to work.

It was okay that doors were still apart and paint cans were still open. It didn't matter that I didn't have time to vacuum up paint chips. Ken was exhausted and just glad to be home.

I finished cleaning up before I went to bed last night. I had made plans to run errands with a friend this morning. We delayed our start time to 10:00 when we woke to find the thermometer at -25 degrees. We had a good talk over our free mocha from McDonald's, and the rest of the errands went smoothly.

Meanwhile, Ken enjoyed a quiet morning at home with Leo and a week's worth of newspapers. We went out for a late lunch. As I write this Ken is making shepherd's pie for dinner, possible because he made a trip to the grocery store for milk and hamburger. He just served me a whiskey sour....

Lessons from this week:
Plans change.

I can follow through with what I want to do regardless of what happens with Ken's schedule.

If I let go of what I thought what would happen and enjoy what does happen, I am much happier.

A surprise whiskey sour is very tasty.