A Place In The World

It started snowing late last night. Fine crystals of white quietly blanketed the world outside.

I went to bed after midnight but I couldn't sleep. I got up at 1:00 to look outside. The deck had a layer of white, snow still gently falling.

Since I was up, I checked the computer. My daughter had posted for the first time in weeks. She had decided to share her intention to convert to Judaism. I knew, but I didn't realize she was ready for others to know. She knows I'm writing about it now.

For well over a year my daughter has been exploring her options with regard to converting. She has accumulated a small library of books, attended services at temple, and met with the rabbi. She has ahead of her at least another year of study, services, and meetings.

This is a journey she started a decade ago. While she was at college she attended a variety of churches, and during the summers she worked as a lifeguard at a UCC summer camp. I encouraged her curiosity.

When I was in college I attended Sunday morning services at a Lutheran church because I liked the minister and his sermons; I joined a youth group at a Methodist church because I enjoyed the sense of community; and I savored the sermons from my church at home, a progressive Church of the Brethren in Washington, D.C., because I missed the open-minded perspective of the church that I had known since I was a child.

My husband and I love our daughter. We will honor her decision and work as a family to meld our beliefs and holy days. The irony of this journey for my daughter, born on Christmas Eve and baptized on Easter Sunday, is not lost on me. The world works in mysterious ways.

I woke this morning to the cushioned quiet that only snow can provide. I thought about my daughter, a young woman searching for ways to live her faith. I thought about me, a woman in mid-life looking for ways to live my purpose. We are each looking for a place in the world, a journey beautifully described in the lyrics of Mary Chapin Carpenter:

A Place In the World

from the album of the same name, 1996

What I'm looking for, after all this time

Keeps me moving forward, trying to find it

Since I learned to walk all I've done is run

Ready, on my mark, doesn't everyone

Need a place in the world.

Could be right before your very eyes

Just beyond a door that's open wide

Could be far away or in your own backyard

There are those who say, you can look too hard

For your place in the world.

Takes some of us a little longer

A few false starts gonna make you stronger

When I'm sure I've finally found it

Gonna wrap these arms all around it.

Could be one more mile, or just one step back

In a lover's smile, down a darkened path

Friends will take our side, enemies will curse us

But to be alive is to know your purpose

It's your place in the world

Your place in the world

Your place in the world.