Upon the advice of the career counselor I met with on Tuesday, I have emailed two people who have interviewed me to ask for feedback about how I presented myself and answered questions. I also asked if they had insights about what I could do differently in the future. I have already received one reply, and the other person will get back to me next week.
This is what Susan Jeffers means when she says, "Feel the fear and do it anyway," in her book by the same title. I pulled this book, that I first read in February 1995, off the shelf after I read Jan's post at Awake Is Good about how we transform our fear. I remembered that Jeffers' book made an impression on me and led me to make changes in how I addressed my fears. Her premise is that the biggest fear we have is that we can't handle whatever might happen in our lives. Once we know that we can handle anything, we have nothing to fear. I definitely need a refresher course.
I was fearful going into those interviews - fearful that I couldn't answer the questions, fearful that I wouldn't get the job, and fearful that I wouldn't know what to do if I did get the job. In going back to ask for feedback, I am facing that fear. In facing that fear I will gain valuable information to help me with future interviews.
Already I have been told that I didn't answer questions forcefully enough about what I could bring to the position, and I didn't clearly address the computer skills I possess. I know I have to be more confident when I talk about my skills and qualifications, and that is something that the career counselor is going to help me with. I have never delineated my computer skills, and my daughter says I know more than I think I do. That's something else I need to work on.
I see that until now I haven't been ready to go back to work. That's a hard reality to face, but there it is. Eighteen months ago I felt like a failure who had nothing to offer. That same thought caught me off guard this week, when I compared it to feeling this way a long time ago. That stopped me in my tracks, and I realized that my thinking was faulty. I wasn't to blame then and I'm not to blame now. Life transitions finally caught up with me the summer of 2007. I've needed time to catch my breath and take care of myself. I am more accepting of myself now. I am asking for help in areas where I am not confident. As I get stronger, I will project that confidence. With practice, I will come across as a woman who has a lot to offer.
I was talking to a friend this morning and telling her about my meeting with a career counselor. She said, "You really want a job, don't you?" I honestly replied, "I really do." The idea still scares me, but I'm going to go for it anyway.
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7 comments:
I find something here in these job search posts to relate to every time I read.
I am so happy to hear of this leap of faith you have taken, and the fear that you are overcoming to get yourself out there again. The career counselor move sounds really ideal. And it takes a lot of courage to ask for feedback like you did--a lot! So I'd give yourself a big pat on the back if I were you. I am! :-) You go girl!
It sounds like you're really going about getting a job in a meaningful way, tapping into your own thoughts and interests as you focus your search. Best wishes to you, enjoyed browsing here.
I remember back in the 80s I consulted a career counselor who used the methods in the book "What Color is Your Parachute?" That focuses on our life experience to discover the things we like to do and the things we're good at doing, and then find ways of applying them to our careers. (Rather than trying to squoosh ourselves into preconceived job descriptions and then wondering why we're not happy, which is the usual way of doing it.)
With practice, I will come across as a woman who has a lot to offer.
Because that's what you are.
Aging has helped me a lot with the fear thing. When I finally realized that I'm not going to live forever, and that 50 years from now I won't even be here ... somehow that thought is very freeing to me. What do I have to lose?
Always remember- you are interviewing them as much as they are interviewing YOU! Ask them questions about the job, know what it is you want... my 2 cents.
Your post reminds me of something Randy Pausch said in his famous Last Lecture(paraphrasing from memory here): Obstacles are a way for us to prove how badly we want something.
I try to remember that when I fear a daunting task/discussion/decision. Then I try to reward myself afterward (sometimes that means giving myself permission to not tackle anything else fear-filled that day).
Sharon, it is an honor to witness your quest to find that next life/career move. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Sharon, thanks for articulating so well how you're progressing on your journey. I enjoy reading your posts and fully believe that the right job will come along for you at the right time.
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