Giving Thanks

I am giving thanks for family. I am always glad when my son comes home from Boston, which he did last night. This year is special because we have a new member of the family, Maggie Louise, who was born just nine days ago. My daughter made a hat and sweater for the baby to wear home~

She didn't know if the baby was a girl or boy, so there was the decision to be made about a name.  Many were tried. Maggie fits just right~

Maggie spends most of her day eating and sleeping.  My daughter will sometimes catch her awake for a photo~

We are delivering Thanksgiving dinner to Maggie's house this year.  I think I'll go wake her up~

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Until further notice, I will be holding the baby~  

No News

There are instances where no news would not be good news, like when you're waiting to hear about a job interview or trying to buy a house.  I have been in both of those situations and waited with baited breath for news.

In my current time and space, no news is good news. On Tuesday I was scanned, measured, mashed, and relieved of two vials of blood, and I haven't heard a word.  That's good news because if there was a concern, I think I would have heard something by now.  The results should be shared with my doctor within a week, and her office will send me a copy.  I will put the paperwork in a file and out of my mind until someone suggests it's time to get something or other checked again.

That's the scenario I choose to focus on.

This morning Ken and I were treated to brunch with friends.  They invited us to their home, crafted a delicious meal, and then took us for a long walk on wooded trails that surround their neighborhood.  It was a crisp fall day and being outside was invigorating.  I don't get that same feeling alone on the treadmill. It was engaging to walk and talk about families and books and ideas.  A thread that ran through all the topics was how fortunate we are to have good health, independent children, and opportunities to do the things we enjoy.

I had a rough day at work yesterday and there are no indications that things will get easier any time soon.  I got caught up in that and ended the day angry and frustrated. Then I got upset with myself for letting the situation get the best of me.  

Today with friends turned that thinking around.

Monday I have a paper due for my class.  That will keep me busy tomorrow, and while I work I will hold onto the feelings from today.

The journey continues ~

November Update

I drove home in the dark last night.  I stopped on the way to vote.  I was tired and almost didn't, but someone I know was on the ballot for select board.  I know what that feels like and wanted to lend my support.  Parking was easy, and I was quickly in and out.  I was in favor of all three referendum questions, and they passed, so I felt a part of that.

I was getting home later than usual because I had an appointment with the osteopath after work, my third visit in a month.  She's doing some heavy duty work to get my body figured out.  During the second visit she noted that my aorta was palpable.  She advised me to ask my primary care physician to schedule an ultrasound of my aorta.  I had a physical planned for later that week, and my primary care doctor agreed that I should have an ultrasound.

It came up again at yesterday's appointment.  The doctor mentioned she saw my aorta pulsing.  She felt my wrist and said my pulse was bounding.  She said it could be normal for me, so we'll see what the test shows. 

Next Tuesday morning I have enough tests scheduled every half hour to hold me for awhile, starting at 7:00 with the ultrasound and continuing with a mammogram, bone scan, and fasting blood work.  The last three are routine.  I've promised myself a big breakfast to celebrate afterward, and I'm treating myself to a haircut in the afternoon.

I thought October would be the month to get myself in shape.  I am still working toward that goal, but I did accomplish something else....

I am now the proud owner of a smart phone.  I have been on my daughter's cell phone plan for years.  For months we have been talking about updating her phone and bringing my communication into the 21st century.  I didn't feel ready, but I don't know that I ever would on my own.  Each day I learn a bit more. I have sent and received a few texts.  This evening I added a few contacts.

I never know when I might want to call a friend ~

Studio Space

I brought order to my studio, aka sewing/guest room, in early September so I could take photos.  I thought I might take a few more pictures but the room has been pressed into service since I got it organized and realized its potential.  It's time for the reveal~

Ken crafted this thread shelf

Stacks of squares and possibilities

Sewing corner with work table & design wall

Natural light from the north & west, with room to spread out

The room is not large by any standard, but I have room to move and plenty of surfaces to use.  It's a pleasant space, whether I'm sewing or updating photo albums or generating ideas.  There's lots of dreaming goin' on~ 

Hello October

I spent September trying to feel better.

Over Labor Day weekend I attempted to fend off a UTI, drinking copious amounts of water for days.  I thought I had it licked...then had to admit I didn't.  It took ten days and two different antibiotics to clear up the infection, and I still wasn't feeling 100%.

Ten days ago I saw my massage therapist and mentioned I was feeling run-down and couldn't get a handle on what was wrong.  She suggested a doctor who uses muscle resistance to assess how a body is doing.

I called and she had an opening this week.  I saw her Tuesday evening and was fascinated by the process. I held out my right arm, determined to stay strong as she lightly pushed down.  How hard could it be to keep my arm out straight?  She pointed to different points on my body and there were times when I was completely helpless as my arm gave way.  She said that generally I am in good health.  However, my brain is disorganized, my blood is weak, and two of my lower vertebrae are out of whack which is affecting my bladder.  She gave me an exercise to do, recommended a daily teaspoon of blackstrap molasses, and encouraged me to make an appointment with an osteopath, which I have been meaning to do for weeks. 

The next day I called the osteopath for a new-patient appointment, which I thought would be weeks away.  Just twenty minutes earlier they'd had a cancellation for this coming Monday afternoon, late enough that I can go after work.

Just for good measure I made an appointment later this month for a physical with my primary care doc.

The doctor mentioned that I am in the process of waiting and need to continue to be patient.  She said that my heart is "tired" and that I can protect it by gently placing my hand on my chest, which I have been doing for months.

I have asked the universe for help.  I feel that those pleas have been answered.  

Start From Now

Students started classes last Tuesday, September 1.  I am always disappointed when school starts before Labor Day because in my mind that holiday is part and parcel of summer vacation.  This year was one of those years when the first Monday in September came too late to wait for school to begin so back we went, with gorgeous summer weather continuing without regard for where we need to be between 8 and 3.

The room I'm in this year is even smaller than I originally thought.  It is not half the size but one third the size of a regular classroom.  At nine feet wide and twenty-seven feet long there are limited options for room set-up.  I do have a small desk in the back between the file cabinets and the bookshelves.  At just a glance it is obvious that there is only room for one small table, one teacher, and a couple kids at a time.

The good news is that there is a second door to the room in the back that goes between our room and the computer lab.  Past occupants had covered the door with shelving and supplies, so I didn't know it was there.  Now I keep the door open most of the time, which helps dramatically with air circulation.  I appreciate the natural light I can see through the windows in the computer lab.

The back door makes is easier for me to come and go, which I do often.  There will be times when students are in the lab for classes or testing, but once I figure out the schedule I will have what I need on the cart and be able to do what I need to do.

My current perspective took a few days to evolve.  When I first saw my space for the year I was crestfallen.  I knew I needed to devise a plan to make it work for me, which is when the importance of the second door became apparent.  I have perfected slipping out quietly to make copies, get necessary materials and information, and take on additional duties.

The other thing that helped, at least it did when I started the process on Thursday, was to register for a course that starts tomorrow.  I am reminding myself of the benefits of learning with other educators as I sit here with a five-page syllabus in front of me trying to remember how to be part of a group discussion online.  We do have three classes in real life; the first one isn't for a few weeks and can't come fast enough.  My first thought tonight was that I wasn't ready to make this commitment.  My second thought was that if I don't do it now I may never decide I'm ready.  My third thought was to write a post about it because my fears look less threatening in black and white.

So much has happened this year that has left me feeling vulnerable that I've forgotten how it helps to write, not about the details necessarily, but about the feelings that come with the ups and downs of daily living.  I remembered tonight and feel better already.

Last Tuesday, as I headed out for the first day of school, I loaded my stuff into the car and climbed into the driver's seat.  There on the steering wheel was an envelope, blank and unsealed [Ken's trademark move in case I want to use the envelope again].  Inside was a card with a sepia toned photo of a woman walking along a railroad track while balanced on a rail.  The words above the photo are:  Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new beginning.

Isn't that perfect?

Trade-Offs

I go back to work tomorrow....  I had a different plan.  I was going to teach reading last year and then get a job as a classroom teacher.  I applied for jobs and did get one interview, where the principal was encouraging but didn't offer me the position.  I will continue to apply for classroom positions, but the clock has run out and for now I need to return to the job I had last year.

Some things have changed.  There will be no lunch recess duty for anyone because there will be no formal mid-day recess, which is a good thing.  Classroom teachers will be responsible for taking their own students out for recess during the course of the day.  I like that I will spend more time teaching.

Another thing that has changed is the location of the literacy classroom.  The room this year is half the size, a long narrow room with no windows and just one door at one end.  There is space for only one teacher so I will hit the road and work with students in their grade-level classrooms.  That's okay with me; I will enjoy being out and about throughout the day.

I very much wanted my own classroom this fall, but there are trade-offs that work to my advantage.  I haven't had to go into school yet because I don't have a classroom to set up or curriculum to align with standards or lesson plans to write.  I have squeezed every last moment out of summer vacation because there literally isn't anything for me to do to prepare for students.

During the school year I will have plenty time to dedicate to taking a graduate class or two.  My certification is up for renewal next summer and I still need continuing education units toward that.

Perhaps the best trade-off is that I will have the flexibility to be available when my daughter needs me in November.  She has given me the okay to share that she is pregnant.  She is an independent woman and capable of doing this on her own, so I am on deck to help how and when she asks.  It has been fun to be in on some of the preparations.  I do my best to maintain a calm exterior, but between you and me I am wicked excited!

Sometimes I make plans and the universe has a better idea....