Second Sowing

The books I bought in March at a used book store have provided hours of reading and reflection.   I was going to write one post about my finds, but each book is special in its own way.  Starting today, and for the next few Tuesdays, I will post a bit about each book.

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Twenty-five years ago a friend loaned me a book that her sister had loaned her.  She said I had to read it because it was about all the things we talked about as women, wives, and mothers.  That was surprising because the book was written in 1955.  I read the book in a weekend, then bought my own copy which I have read again and again because it still speaks to my life experience.  That book was Gift from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh.  I never thought to ask if she'd written anything else.

Then in March I came across a book of poems that Lindbergh wrote between 1935 and 1955 titled The Unicorn and Other Poems.  I haven't read the book from beginning to end; I open the book to any page and read the poem that appears.  Page 32 was my first and remains my favorite.  I read it while I was holding my grandson ~

Second Sowing
by Anne Morrow Lindbergh
       
For whom
The milk ungiven in the breast
When the child is gone?

For whom
The love locked up in the heart
That is left alone?

That golden yield
Split sod once, overflowed an August field,
Threshed out in pain upon September's floor,
Now hoarded high in barns, a sterile store.

Break down the bolted door;
Rip open, spread and pour
The grain upon the barren ground
Wherever crack in clod is found.

There is no harvest for the heart alone;
The seed of love must be
Eternally
Resown.

Change Takes And Gives Time

Don't rush April.  Unfamiliar words but ones I uttered more than once this year.  I thought the month was almost over only to realize we were barely halfway through.   

Part of it was the weather, slow to warm and unable to encourage all the usual suspects to bloom before May arrived.  Maybe I thought rushing the month would also rush warmer temperatures, but that didn't work.

Part of it was the way I have been paying attention to what I am doing and how I am feeling and asking why.  This is hard to describe without sounding like I've been totally self-absorbed.  I have not turned into a complete hermit, and it's not like the people around me are aware of what I'm doing.  When my chest feels tight, I think about where I am, who I am with, and what I am doing.  When I am feeling relaxed I ask the same questions.  I focus on my breathing and take stock of what the rest of my body is doing and feeling.  This process makes me hyper aware of the passage of time, and the result has been a lengthening of my days.

And part of the reason for the longer-than-usual month of April is that I am changing patterns and routines.  Before I do something physical I ask if there is a way to do it I haven't tried before.  I have rearranged furniture in the three rooms where I spend most of my time.  I have stopped trying to manage my emotions ~ the tears come and I allow them to flow; I laugh more easily; I have said what I felt instead of squashing my words, and yes, I have felt the need to apologize.

During my massage on Friday I said that the tightness in my chest now feels like more of a vibration than an ache.  The feeling has become a signal to pay attention.  My massage therapist picks up on those small changes and notices the correlating changes she feels in my body.

She and I are both movie buffs, and we like to compare notes during my massage.  She was working on my right shoulder when I started describing the premise of one of my favorite baseball movies,  Moneyball.  It is the true story of how Billy Beane used statistics to draft and trade players based on their on-base percentages in order to build a winning team on a limited budget.  I had watched the movie the afternoon before.  As general manager Beane didn't care what position the player used to play; he could teach a catcher to play first base.  All that mattered was the player's ability to get on base. I described in great detail how Beane convinced players to stop doing what they thought they did best: Steal bases?  Not anymore - get on base and stay there.  Bunt?  Nope - hit the ball and get on base.  Billy Beane convinced players to change their habits and the team had a twenty-game winning streak, the first ever in American League baseball.

My shoulder released and I had an "aha" moment: It's not easy to change habits but there may be unexpected and extraordinary rewards when I do.  It's worth the effort to keep trying.

After the massage Ruth handed me a tiny orange origami crane she'd made that morning.  She reminded me that orange is the color of the second chakra, the place of personal power with ourselves and others.  Since February I have written daily in a small orange journal my daughter gave me.  I write one sentence about my day.  That simple act has encouraged me to start journaling again.

The journey continues....

*Follow-up note about the cat that showed up at our door one Friday night.  A woman who lives a quarter mile down the road, and deeper in the woods than we do, learned on Facebook from another neighbor that we had rescued a cat.  She called me Tuesday morning and I told her the cat was at the shelter.  The next day the shelter posted a photo of the reunion on FB.  Full circle.  

Cats And Dragons, Oh My

I think it's official:  we are the way station for wandering cats.  I don't want to think about why so many stray cats have made their way to our door, but #3 showed up just before midnight on Friday.  You may remember that that's how we wound up with Leo, who just showed up one evening and stole our hearts for two and a half years.  Then came the beautiful tiger kitten who wanted the safety of our porch and was a challenge to catch to take to the shelter.  Friday night's lovely was caught peering in the kitchen door and upon the invitation to enter was purring so loudly Ken could hear her across the room.  She introduced herself to everyone here and relished all affection lavished upon her~

I fixed her a dish of turkey, rice, and broth that she lapped right up.  She spent the night in the guest bathroom and explored every corner of the house the next morning.  I knew we needed to get her to the shelter for her sake and ours ~ I didn't want to get attached.  The people at the shelter took her right in, even though they were closed to visitors due to painting the entire interior of the building, and all said she would be easily adopted due to her beauty, disposition, and young age.  I nick-named her Bright Eyes and know she will make some family a wonderful pet~

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I had a request for a photo of the luggage I bought.  I think this angle shows the pieces most clearly~

It is the Extra Large Sportman's Expandable Pullman Set.  The little guy on guard needed surgery after too much loving from Mazulah at my daughter's house.  Baby Dragon needed a new eye~

He's the cutest thing, each arm and leg are made in one piece so you can make them longer or shorter by pulling them up or down.  I think a little boy I know may have fun with him when he visits in June. 

Make That A Table For Four

With March Madness over, our attention has turned to the National Hockey League play-offs.  The first round for the Boston Bruins looked to be a tough one with the Detroit Red Wings, who won three of the four games they played Boston during the regular season.

Ken and I are not obsessed with hockey.  Once in a while we catch a game during the regular season.  However, we do enjoy the post season, when the best hockey is played.

Last night was Game 4 and we'd made plans for a late dinner at our favorite pub to watch the game.  The Bruins have brought their A-game in each of the three previous meetings and were up two games to one.

We were seated at the best table in the house, near a window on the Androscoggin River~

Which is just below the biggest television screen in the place~

There was a lot on the line for both teams.  Detroit won the first game played in the Boston, but then lost in Boston and Detroit.  Game 5 moves back to Boston, and Detroit would do well to head back to Bean Town even with the Bruins.  The first period ended with Detroit up 1-0.  By the start of the second period Ken and I had finished dinner and were enjoying our first cups of coffee...

when we were joined by another couple about our age.  There were plenty of empty tables and room at the bar, but when they approached our table and asked if they could watch the game we said sure.  After all, we did have the best table in front of the biggest screen.

They introduced themselves and it didn't take long for us to enjoy snippets of conversation during the commercials.  Their home base is in Cleveland and they have grown children scattered throughout the Northeast in places we know well.  We learned we have similar interests in music and theater.  My ears picked up when the mentioned they play pinochle, which Ken and I also enjoy; not only do they play but she organized a "club" where four couples get together four times a year for a potluck supper and mixed couples' pinochle.  I love that idea.

We enjoyed watching hockey and chatting and all cheered when the Bruins won in overtime.  I said maybe we'd run into them again if they were in the area, and he gave us his card with a phone number and email address.

Ken and I couldn't get over all the things we had in common and how easy it was to talk with people we'd just met.  I miss doing things with other couples.  I don't know why it's so hard to make plans, but people's lives are busy with work and other commitments.  Many of our friends have grown children, with their own children, who live in the area and they understandably want to spend time together.  Last night reminded me how good it feels to spend time with a couple that shares similar interests.

I have been wondering what Ken and I can do to make new friends.

The universe sent us a couple from Cleveland who like hockey and play pinochle.

Well, I have their email address.  When they visit Maine they stay in Freeport, where LLBean sponsors free Saturday night concerts all summer.  Once the schedule comes out, I think I will send an email and offer to save them a seat.  It seems like that's the least I can do ~

Claims Department

Yesterday I bought luggage.

My daughter and I had things to return at the LLBean flagship store.  While in town we made our way to the outlet store where returns, out-of-season stock, and discontinued items are sold at reduced prices.  We always stop there because you never know what you'll find. 

I wasn't looking for luggage.  We had made our rounds of the store and were headed to the check-out from housewares.  In the middle of the aisle was a special display of soft-sided luggage.  Beside that on the floor was one bag.  There it was, the exact piece of luggage lost in January.  I wasn't going to buy another bag that big any time soon.  Closer inspection revealed that it was the entire set, which includes the carry-on I was going to eventually buy and a shoulder bag, for little more than the price of the large bag alone.  After some debate and confirmation from a clerk that I could return it and get my money back, I bought the set of luggage.  When Ken and I fly together, we will each need a carry-on; when we take a car trip we can use the larger bag.

This is the next logical step in the saga of the lost luggage.  Ken agreed with the purchase.  My daughter joked that now maybe my bag will show up.  

In mid-March I heard from United Airlines that they had done all they could to find my bag, even reached out to other air carriers, with no luck.  They sent me a check that covered the cost of most of the contents lost, though not the books and not the actual cost of the bag itself because I couldn't produce a receipt.

For days I thought about what it meant to accept that check.  Then I called the United Airlines Claims Department.  I had learned during a previous conversation that they make a note in my file every time I call. [In fact, the time I talked to Bernie he assured me that the airline wanted to find my bag as much as I did.  They do not casually pay out claims.  Bernie made a note that getting my bag back was my priority.]

This is the essence of that conversation in March:

"Claims Department.  May I help you?"
"Yes, I received a check from United Airlines to compensate for my lost luggage.  I want you to make a note in my file that I still want my bag and I will return this money if the bag shows up."
"M'am, we have no need to keep your bag."
"I know that, which is why I want it back no matter when it might be found."
"M'am, I assure you that we will get your bag to you if it is ever found."
"So cashing the check does not negate that?"
"No, m'am."

I  cashed the check and put the money away.  I think of this as acceptance and not surrender.  Physical property does not just evaporate, and things that are lost are sometimes found.  Stranger things have happened.

Broadway In Boston

Ken listens to a sports talk radio station out of Boston.  Weeks before Christmas he heard that the Broadway production The Book of Mormon was coming to Boston in April 2014.  He asked me what I thought about tickets for Christmas gifts for me, my daughter, my son in Boston, and of course Ken himself.  I was on board immediately and the online search for tickets began. [We have since learned more about ticket acquisition and the importance of staying on top of announcements for scheduled shows.]  I reviewed calendars and took into consideration the obligations that I was aware of for all of us.  We found four tickets for a Saturday matinee.  Sold!  We were pleased with ourselves and anxious to share the surprise.

Christmas morning the four of us were exchanging gifts when my son handed an envelope to Ken and me.  Ken opened it, a gift certificate for the purchase of two tickets to The Book of Mormon.  Ken smiled.  I smiled.  Sometimes duplicate gifts are a sign of enthusiasm.  We then handed out our envelopes and everyone was smiling.  Travis hadn't bought tickets yet, so he offered to find tickets for another show for us.  We all marked our calendars and waited for April 5.

Everything about this past Saturday was just as we hoped it would be.  The rain stopped Saturday morning.  There was room on a second bus to Boston at the desired time.  Once in Boston we enjoyed every minute.

We started with brunch at the South Street Diner, where I had peanut butter and banana pancakes~

From there we were walking distance from the Boston Opera House~

The theater was originally built in 1927 and has a complicated and colorful history.  Most recently renovated in 2002 the Boston Opera House is a showcase in every sense of the word.  The lobby sets the tone~

We had seats on the mezzanine level, where the stair landing has artwork in the ceiling~

And overlooks the opulent lobby~

The hallway continues to amaze with gold leaf and crystal~

No photos are allowed in the theater so believe me when I say it did not disappoint, and neither did the production~

Ken and I agreed that we need to frequent Boston's Theater District more often.  I had made reservations at Stoddard's Fine Food and Ale, which is unassuming from the outside~

And inside exudes the character of the original 1868 structure that began as a corset store~

The atmosphere was warm and inviting, and the food was delicious.  We opted for dessert at a Theater District landmark, which my daughter and I first discovered fourteen years ago ~ 

The four of us ended the day with a delectable sample plate of a dozen desserts that left us satisfied and looking forward to the next time we can enjoy such a wonderful day.

Change Of Place

Today I took my friend Ruby to our traditional "spring is here" lunch at Fat Boy's, a local institution where the special is a BLT made with Canadian bacon.  The sun appeared this morning, after 36 hours of snow, sleet, freezing rain, and rain.  I didn't want to tempt fate, but I thought we needed to do our part to encourage the onset of spring.

My timing was good.  Ruby said she'd love to go to lunch.

The phone rang after I called to issue the invitation.  It was Ruby calling me back.  She needs help to finish getting settled into her new place.

In late January Ruby found another place to live.  She started looking last fall when her daughter broke the news that she was listing for sale the property they shared.  Three weeks into the new year a friend in town offered to rent Ruby the in-law apartment on the back of her house, which is just a quarter of a mile down the road from Ruby's cottage.  It was the best case scenario because Ruby was going to have to move eventually.  The new place has privacy, plenty of room for Ruby and her dog, and lots of outdoor space with fields and woods.

Ruby barely had time to digest the reality of her move when she learned that her daughter had received an offer to buy the property, including the house and cottage, where Ruby has lived for the last fifty years.  Initially the new owners-to-be said that Ruby did not need to rush to move. 

Mid-February things changed.  Ruby got a call that she needed to be out of the cottage by March 16.  I visited with her before I left for California and offered to help her start packing.  Ruby had been paring down her possessions since last fall, but she was not yet ready to put her things in boxes. 

By the time I returned home Ruby was moved into her new place.  She says she is lucky to be where she is, but the transition has been chaotic.  It's hard enough to move when it's your own idea and you do things on your own schedule.  When you are 81 years old and forced to leave your chosen home, where you planned to live forever, it is emotionally and physically taxing.  Ruby is exhausted.

Her family and friends have been helpful with the move.  Every time I have been to visit I have asked what I can do to help, and she asks me to take the dog out or she wants to sit and visit.  When she called me back this morning I was ready to do whatever I could to help allay some of the chaos Ruby is feeling.

I arrived at her place ready to organize and put things in order.

Despite her phone call, Ruby didn't want my help with the apartment.  She asked me to take the dog out, and then she laid out plans for what we could do on our outing.  On our way to lunch we stopped to see her daughter's apartment, and after lunch we stopped to buy dog food.  Back at her place we took the dog for a walk and sat at the picnic table soaking in the sunshine.

Ruby thoroughly enjoyed lunch.  She repeatedly commented on the beautiful day and the warmth of the sun.  She said that things will eventually get settled at the apartment, that today she was too tired to do any more.  I needed to honor that, as much as I wanted to do more.  So much has been out of her control that it's important for me to help in ways that she feels will help her the most.

The most I can do is be her friend.