Thank You Dorothy Parker

A commenter on my last post, someone who knows me well, left links for three poems. I want to share one that still has me chuckling. Life does go round and round, and there are ups and downs. Laughter along the way is a good thing ~

Inscription for the Ceiling of a Bedroom
by Dorothy Parker

Daily dawns another day;
I must up, to make my way.
Though I dress and drink and eat,
Move my fingers and my feet,
Learn a little, here and there,
Weep and laugh and sweat and swear,
Hear a song, or watch a stage,
Leave some words upon a page,
Claim a foe, or hail a friend—
Bed awaits me at the end.

Though I go in pride and strength,
I'll come back to bed at length.
Though I walk in blinded woe,
Back to bed I'm bound to go.
High my heart, or bowed my head,
All my days but lead to bed.
Up, and out, and on; and then
Ever back to bed again,
Summer, Winter, Spring, and Fall—
I'm a fool to rise at all!

(from The Poetry & Short Stories of Dorothy Parker, 1994, The Modern Library.)

One Of Too Many

I received an email a few days ago that told me that the position, for which I applied and interviewed last month, has been filled. I had already gathered that. The more interesting piece of news was that 113 people had applied for the job.

One hundred thirteen people applied for a position at an alternative school in a small town on the coast of Maine that currently serves eight students.

The optimist in me said, Well wasn't that an honor to be asked to interview?

The realist in me said, What chance do I ever have of breaking into a new career when there are that many people applying for the same job?

I woke up at five o'clock this morning and promptly broke out in a sweat. Dreams this week have been crazy; the night before I was late for a wedding with my dress half made and chipped polish on my toenails. I think last night's drama circled around looking for a job, which makes sense since that topic has been on my mind quite a bit lately.

When I got the resume out earlier this year and dusted it off to have another go at the job market I knew that it wasn't going to be easy. If it was easy I would already be employed. I know that sometimes I am under-experienced. I realize that sometimes I am over-educated. Now I need to add "one of too many" to my possible list of qualifications.

I will continue to search and apply, focusing on part-time and out-of-the-way positions. Who knows? Maybe I will catch someone on the right day in the right mood and they will give me a chance to prove myself. One thing could lead to another.

I know for sure that the phone will not ring unless I keep putting myself out there.

April Flowers

Sometimes ~ if we are willing to wait ~life comes back ~

A Few Days Away

This week I took a few days to stay with Ken while he worked in Hanover, NH. It's the first time I've ever done that. It was fitting because this week marks the week that 25 years ago he started working for his company. We celebrated with dinner at Molly's, home of the most delicious $2 margarita I will ever drink ~

Tuesday I had the day to shop in this college town, starting with a cup of coffee at the Dirt Cowboy Cafe. The used bookstore next door was closed unfortunately ~

There were plenty of other places to stop into ~

One storefront attempted to add a bit of spring color ~

To an otherwise winter-like day ~

Tuesday evening we drove to Quechee Gorge in Vermont, a dramatic result of glacial movement through these mountains a long time ago ~

With a dam at the upper end to control the flow of water ~

We had brick-oven pizza that night; those doors are ten feet tall ~

It felt good to be some place else for a couple days. Life at home stays pretty much the same.

No News Is...

Well, it's no news. I borrowed that intro from a friend. And she's right ~ it's not good or bad, it just is.

I haven't heard a word from the school where I interviewed three weeks ago. That shuts the window on the time frame they had for second interviews. Sigh. The worst part is that I continue to dream about the job, the work to be done, and the people.

Meanwhile there's plenty to be done. Last weekend Ken and I cleaned out the garage. It was mostly to make space for the tractor with the bucket attached and room for the implements not currently on the tractor, and to allow for prime parking for his motorcycle. In the process I gained a few square feet of storage area on the wire shelves, so it wasn't a total loss.

This week I have updated scrapbooks and photo albums, hung artwork, reorganized files, rearranged bookshelves, and generally de-cluttered every corner.

While no news is no news, there are still things to do. If the sunshine of today continues, soon there will be work to do outdoors.

Have a good weekend every one ~

Bright Spots

There is so much turmoil in the world right now that I want to focus on two bright spots for just a moment. The space that I have been watching so closely rewarded me with a blooming crocus this weekend ~ While another spot near the garage was dappled with lavender ~

It was one year ago today that I was introduced to Mazulah, the dog my daughter adopted from a shelter in Mississippi. When you adopt a dog, much less a dog you've never met, you take your chances in what their personality will be. We never could have known what a sweet, gentle, loving pet Mazulah would turn out to be. My daughter and I took her for a long walk on Saturday so she would settle down and let us visit on the porch [she has her own bowl, blanket, toys, and treats for when she comes to visit] ~

We've learned to tire her out so she will let us sit and talk. Mazulah was a tired puppy ~

Thank goodness for life's bright spots ~

Watch This Space

This is the space I am watching closely because as the snow recedes there are crocus and tulip leaves pushing through the soil~

Obvious new growth.

All growth is not so obvious. During my massage yesterday I learned that not only do people tense their shoulders upward, but they can also tense shoulders in toward their bodies.

"Like a turtle?" I asked.

"Why, yes," my massage therapist responded.

I explained that I feel like a turtle, pulling myself in. Then as I try to relax my whole body hurts.

Be aware ~ that's the lesson. My body has been tense for so long that it's taking time to learn how to relax.

Layers ~ of feeling, of changing.

I want to be more like a crocus, pushing upward, with the promise of a bloom.

April Begins

I want to say a sincere thank you to each of you who commented on my last post. It has felt as if we had a memorial service for Leo and the people who knew him best shared their feelings and memories. It means a lot to me and Ken, who has been reading along too.
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After several inches of snow on Friday, the sun broke out this weekend. On Sunday Ken and I went to the ocean, our first trip to Popham Beach this year. The wind was brisk. The sun was warm. There was not a cloud in the sky ~

We walked the beach and watched the waves roll in ~

The wind was so strong it blew spray off the waves ~

We wondered if anyone ever lived on the small, barren islands ~

It doesn't look or feel like Spring yet. Last year we had a real Spring, and I am holding out hope for this year, just not this week. More snow is in the forecast....

Leo Was A Good Cat

Today, in the early morning hours, Leo passed away, exactly two and a half years after he adopted us when he showed up on our porch and made it clear he wasn't leaving. He chose well because there were no young children or dogs, but there were warm laps, sunny windows, and two adults to dote on him and meet his every need. He enjoyed being outside, and one of his favorite things to do was to drink from the watering can ~

When inside, Leo liked to sit in spots where the sun shone in and he liked to look out the windows ~

Leo was in his retirement years, so there was lots of napping, eating, and grooming. He loved his wet food, and he was meticulous about his appearance ~

This week I knew he was in his last days because he chose to stay in his corner of the garage, near his water and food and litter box. For the most part he stayed on the padded milk crate and slept, occasionally getting a drink of water or tiny taste of food. We made regular trips to the garage to hold him, pet him, and tell him we loved him. When he showed up on our porch in October 2008 we didn't know we needed a cat; Leo knew and worked his way into our lives and hearts. He brought immeasurable joy and unconditional companionship. Leo was well loved and will be fondly remembered by all who knew him. We will miss you, Leo Leo. Godspeed.