Two Months Later...

 I had plans. As often happens, life had other ideas.

I was looking forward to house/pet-sitting for my daughter the weekend before Thanksgiving. I had some projects to do for her, and I was going to write and catch up on correspondence. By Saturday the annoying, hacking cough and runny nose I'd had since Tuesday morphed into fatigue and shortness of breath. I managed to keep moving, albeit slowly and with frequent resting, and got some things done with the help of my husband. By Sunday I was all-in and home in bed before noon. I saw the doctor Monday and had a chest x-ray Tuesday: the good news was my lungs were clear; the bad news was that it was a virus that had to run its course. The week was cancelled. My daughter brought groceries on Wednesday and courses from the dinner she had made for Thursday. My husband started fighting a cold, so we were quarantined for the duration. By Tuesday this week, two weeks since the start, I felt well enough to go back to work.

Yes, I have a part-time job, started the first week in October. Three afternoons a week I work at my granddaughter's after-school-care program. I love it. I get to be with 25-30 kids from kindergarten to elementary school age, and I get to talk to adults I enjoy working alongside. We are a creative group, thinking of crafts we can do and always ready to change things to improve the program.

In September I started helping my daughter organize rooms at her house. I love that sort of thing, and it has meant that I get to spend time with her. We work and talk and have lunch and work some more. She passed me her fabric for safe keeping and told me to use what I want, setting aside the solids for her future projects. I have had so much fun sorting and organizing and dreaming of all the things I can do! This set me on the path to take a hard look at my sewing room, what works and what doesn't. In August I brought my mom's wooden kitchen table home to replace the computer table I had been using, and I wanted the room to be more functional...which led to completely rearranging the furniture. I didn't even have everything put away yet, and I just had to sit down and start sewing! The biggest change, and the most necessary move to make the room work for me, is that there is no longer room for the twin-bed trundle to become a king-size bed. The room still works for little guests but no longer for adults. There is a double-size futon downstairs and various other sleeping options for individuals. I was holding a space for once-or-twice-a-year visits, which was a surprising realization...

which seems to be the theme for this fall. Ideas and feelings have bubbled to the surface, and I have accepted them all. No anxiety. No fear. No denial.

The river continues to flow. There is a lot going on underneath the surface....

Two Twenty Twenty-Two

 More two's to celebrate. It's the small things these days. My mom and I were talking today about how much has changed and keeps changing and how little we have any control over. The days run together unless we make sure they don't. 

So when there is something that makes me smile, I take note ~ interesting number combinations, the pattern of temperatures for the blanket I'm knitting, the image of Anne teaching her granddaughter to knit with chop sticks, and a new quilt pattern that challenges my thinking about perspective and directionality. 

My year-old grandson has started taking steps, and we all clap during our video chats. This week is February break for the grandchildren so we will see all of them over the next several days. The things they are learning and the stories they tell are amazing. They light up our days.

Today is number 713, just 17 days shy of two years of  living in a pandemic. Slowly I am making up for lost time by scheduling visits with grandchildren and doctors' appointments. My fingers are crossed that I will be able to travel out of New England this summer, to be determined as the weather gets warmer and if the rates of covid continue to decline. I have a friend in Pennsylvania that I need to lay eyes on and chat with for hours. I have family in Virginia and West Virginia that I need to visit and enjoy a laugh with. As so much has fallen away and ceased to be part of my daily life, weddings and births and celebrations of lives well lived have come to pass. It is as important as it is daunting to re-enter the world outside my corner of the woods. The more I go the easier it will be. It's only through doing that it will get done. 

Time's a-wastin and the journey continues ~ 

Quilt Update

It has been more than three years since I have posted photos of quilts I've made. I used to often post photos here, finding it relatively easy when I had a digital camera. I got my first "smart" phone the fall of 2015 and found a way to manage moving photos from my phone to my laptop or desktop; I don't like to write anything of any length on my phone. Then a year ago I got a new phone and let's just say it's not as easy for me to keep photos organized the way I like to. So I put off the task for months at a time. 

Let's see what has been finished in the last three years ~

This one is from fabric my daughter passed over, complemented with sun & moon fabric from a friend.

 The pinks and greens are fabrics I had saved for years for just the right project.

I used squares of special animal fabrics from my collection for my granddaughter Piper in 2019.

The goal of the Rainbow Quilt was to use many of the charm squares I had collected.

Blues and greens and golds and butterflies.

The Quilter's Quilt is made with interesting squares with grids and a variety of strips.

This Improv Quilt was started at a retreat summer 2017 and finished three years later.

That takes me through 2020. I am currently working on three that are in various stages and will share those as I get them finished. If nothing else, sewing keeps me off the streets and out of trouble.

Time to Write

Last summer everything seemed possible.

After my trip to Scotland, Ken and I took a road trip to see family in West Virginia and friends in Pennsylvania. We came home to do yard work and spend time with kids and grandkids ~ the weather was perfect for trips to the beach and cook-outs. I made it a point to enjoy every day of the season.

Then autumn arrived and I found the ideal long-term substitute teaching job. It started three weeks into October, which gave me time to get the house in order and organize quilting projects to do in the evenings. The 7:10 start time was early and the days were long, but I enjoyed teaching the 4th and 5th graders, my favorite age group. Snow days delayed the end of my commitment until January 29. I accomplished the goals I had set for the class and left on good terms with students and staff, so it was another good teaching experience.

I had such plans once I was home again! The first few weeks I spent cleaning house and catching up on my sleep. I started more quilting projects and tried new recipes. I relished time with family. I committed to getting back on the treadmill and found that mid-morning is a time I can stick to.

I have drafted several blog posts in my head but have been reluctant to spend much time on the computer. I was going to post pics when quilts were finished and while we were on a trip to New York's wine country. Then life changed....

In February we heard about a virus spreading through Asia and a cruise trip. Soon reports of COVID-19 in Italy made the headlines. Then cases were reported in Washington, California, and New York. We were not alarmed, but the more we listened and watched the more convinced we were that this epidemic is serious. We cancelled our plans for New York out of what we hoped was extreme caution. 

It turns out it wasn't extreme at all. It was common sense. Maine was one of the last states to verify cases of the virus. It's here now. We are in close touch with our sons in the Boston area, both of whom are working from home for the foreseeable future. We are available to help our daughter with day care if she is called in to work. And I have time to work on all the projects, including writing here.

My word for the year is curiously appropriate for where I find myself. I'll share next time.

The journey continues....

Mid-July

On June 19 school ended on a high note. Twice in the last two weeks of school the principal told me how well my students had done on assessments. She tracks data for all students in the school, and while I knew my students had made progress academically I didn't realize how much improvement they had shown. I was their teacher for two-thirds of the year and it mattered that I did a good job. I was pleased they had matured socially and felt they were all ready for second grade. Students were happy. Parents thanked me for being there. It was a good experience, and I'm glad I had the opportunity to teach in that particular school.

I hit the ground running the minute school vacation started. Day one I cleared out the family room to clean and declutter. Two days later I tackled my sewing room, cleaning and organizing and pulling out fabric for my next quilt. I've tried to make time to sew at least a square each day and almost have enough to lay out to see how it looks.

The rest of the house was put in order just in time for our Boston grandchildren to come for a visit. It had been exactly a year since my son and daughter-in-law moved east. They have been incredibly busy so it was nice to relax and visit for a couple days. Piper turns three on Saturday so we will be there to celebrate with family and friends. We went down in early June to see our grandson graduate from preschool. It is pure joy to have family living close enough that we can see them regularly. Since our younger son and his wife bought a house in February, we have our choice of places to stay, which is a luxury we never imagined.

We also relish the time we spend with our daughter and granddaughter who live locally. Whether at our house or theirs, we enjoy the chance to visit and play and share meals.

Back on the home front, I decided this was the summer to attend to the flower beds. They have been neglected since I went back to teaching because I haven't wanted to spent precious summer days weeding and fertilizing the clay soil that is everywhere. As luck would have it I had a long conversation with a local gardener in early July. We have talked before but I hadn't shared the full story of what I was up against. I was startled when she said it is impossible to amend clay soil enough to make it able to support plants and flowers. She advised me to use that soil as a base and build up twelve inches with loam and compost. That's a lot of dirt! And our house is on a slope which presents another whole set of problems. Ken and I have been hard at work, and I'm almost ready to share photos of the first flower bed we have completely rebuilt.

Summer is here and anything seems possible. I love that feeling~

Saving Time

School ended three weeks ago Friday, and I have been soaking up the days like a sponge. Every day I wake up grateful to have the day to spend as I want.

The first week of my summer vacation I drove to Pittsburgh to see my sister, visiting from Scotland, and a good friend who drove over from eastern Pennsylvania for a visit.

The next week my husband and I met our son and his family at the airport in Boston. They had a lot of luggage as they are moving back to the east coast. Ken and I watched our grandchildren while our son and daughter-in-law started house hunting. We enjoyed two days together, including a July 4 cook-out with friends.

All the while I was aware that my friend Barbara was fighting for her life. In April 2017 she was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia. Over the next 14 months she did everything a person can do to overcome cancer, and she did it with grace and humor and dignity. April this year she underwent a stem cell transplant, which often works when other treatments have failed. It appeared to be successful at first, and then at the end of June the cancer returned. There were complications from the stem cell transplant, and Barbara passed from this world a week ago. She touched so many lives and will be missed by so many that it's impossible to put into words the sadness that we feel.

That time is precious has been the theme this summer. It's not that I expect to live forever. It is that I want to appreciate the time I have. Today I found myself thinking about saving time. I stopped to ask what that means ~ to save time. Is that possible? I don't think it is. I think the answer is to appreciate the moments as they happen, to say yes, to stay present, and to be grateful.

I've turned to sewing to work through my questions and grief. Fabric therapy always helps. The first two projects use pink and yellow and orange ~

                                                                         "Sunrise"

                                                                          "Sunset"

There is a pink and green quilt top in the works. I want to get back to making clothes. There's time... as the journey continues.

Coming To Terms

July ended on a high note with nine days in California visiting my son and his family. We enjoyed being a part of their daily activities ~ a trip to the farmers' market, a field trip with our grandson's preschool, dinner cooked on the grill, trips to Home Depot, and my granddaughter's birthday party with friends and family. Ken and I had lunch with friends one afternoon. We enjoyed walks through local downtown areas and saw the ocean from Santa Cruz.

I had the first few days of August at home and then headed to the woods of Maine for a week of "quilt camp." It was officially a retreat, but family style meals in the lodge and sewing in the barn and stitching on the porch felt so much like camp that the nickname stuck. I took with me quilts in various stages of completion so had plenty to do in my free time. I slept great and even read an entire novel, something I have not done in a long time.

I returned home to squeeze every minute out of the days I had left before I had to be back at school. I sewed every day and thought I had a pretty good handle on household organization.

Then I went into school one day near the end of the fourth week of August. I had to unpack everything and get the room set up, and working at it for 28 hours before the first workshop day was barely enough. I was unwilling to give up any more of my summer....

And the struggle continues as I fight to have time for life outside school. I have claimed weekends as my own to sew, cook, work on projects at home, and enjoy the occasional day with family. I learned last winter that I will never get caught up with schoolwork, and this year there is twice the workload with a new online data collection/reporting system. The learning curve is steep and deadlines are always looming.

I am coming to terms with what is my life. Not much matches the plans I had. I spent my first thirty years trying to please others and denying many of my true feelings. I spent the next thirty years coming to terms with who I am and realizing that whatever I do I can't please everyone. Sadly, it's nonsense to think that I will be happy if I am true to myself ~ I have lost friends and many relationships have shifted because not everyone appreciates who I really am. The hardest losses are some of the people I love the most.

Tonight the thought came to me that I am living the wrong life. This isn't who I want to be or what I want to be doing. I don't know what to do other than put one foot in front of the other and hope that tomorrow is a better day. I don't know what the next thirty years will hold, but I do know that the journey continues....

July So Far

July started with the purchase of a 2015 GMC Sierra truck. I have driven it once, and it feels big. I will need to get used to driving a truck again because it has been many years. This is what it looks like in our driveway~

The next two nights we stayed in Bar Harbor, and the first morning the harbor was fogged in~

It cleared by late morning. That afternoon we drove to Northeast Harbor to visit Thuya Gardens, a unique place we discovered 31 years ago and have not been back to see since. It is quite the hike up a hill to the top~

From that same spot I looked back to see Northeast Harbor~

There was still a ways to go. We will stop at the lookout on our way down~

There is an enormous wooden gate at the entrance to the gardens~

And the place is as beautiful and peaceful as we remembered~

Many flowers had gone by, yet the beauty remained~

The peonies were still stunning~

From the lookout I could see the harbor flow into the ocean~

That weekend was a great way to start July. The next week I finished the top to my grandson's quilt~

The weather on the second Saturday in July was perfect for the outdoor concert with Langhorne Slim and The Law~

A friend is dealing with a bear of a health challenge. I decided she needs a quilt in turquoise and rose. I have finished the top~

So there are projects to work on in August, when I get back from a visit with my son and his family in California. My granddaughter turned 1 yesterday, and we have been invited to a party;)

Summer Time

Summer break started three weeks ago today. I didn't want to waste a minute so there has been some stress over where I put my energy ~ what I want to do, what I need to get done, and how I make best use of the days so that I don't feel like I've squandered this time. It is a challenge because I want to feel relaxed and productive, but putting pressure on myself to feel that way doesn't help.

One of the things I promised myself was that I would write here more often. Then I get hung up on getting photos organized so I can post them. Another day goes by. Then another...and another.

So here I am three weeks into summer. Before another day goes by I want to share some thoughts. Photos will have to come later.

I have done a bit of sewing every day I have been home ~ planning, cutting, sewing by machine, and/or stitching by hand. This simple act of sewing every day has made all the difference. My brain slows down and my mind goes into a different mode. Planning a project, working with fabrics and colors, making something new makes me happy. The toughest months over the winter were the times when I thought I didn't have time to sew. I was wrong. Time opened up when I gave myself permission to create. I learned that lesson. I decided this summer I would sew every day, before the house was clean or the errands were finished. Those things will get done regardless.

On the to-do list was to look for a truck for Ken. He still has a company vehicle for now but will need his own wheels when he retires next year. He started looking a year ago at what's available to get a sense of what he wants and what it would cost.

We had planned to go to the Finger Lakes Region in New York the first weekend in July, but we found a truck that might fit the bill. We changed plans and drove a hundred miles north to test drive a few options. It was fun because we weren't under pressure to make a decision, like we were when my car was totaled in March. We found exactly what he wanted and negotiated a price we felt was fair.

Then we drove fifty miles east to stay on the ocean in Bar Harbor for a couple days. It was the perfect thing to do the first weekend in July.

We were home for a quiet day July 4th. Strawberries have been plentiful, and our weekly share of locally farmed vegetables makes meal planning easy. Last weekend we went to our first free LLBean concert of the summer to hear Langhorne Slim and The Law, a fun evening of good music.

Chores outside and in are being addressed ~ a compost bin has been established in the yard and the clutter in the shed is being tended to. I have researched how to best clean the deck and railing and set about finding the right cleaner and tools. I have thoroughly vacuumed the house, from baseboards to windowsills. There are things to go in the attic and a fan or two to come down. There is a bit of painting to do inside and out.

And through it all I will sew because time makes more sense and life is easier when I do.

Photos next time, I promise. For the first time in a long time I feel hopeful as the journey continues ~

Now November

Days are long. I start most weekdays by 5 a.m. and  forge ahead for 17-18 hours. I am now sure that I will never get caught up at work. Ken asked me early one morning as I sat working at the computer if it was worth it. I said I didn't know.

I am taking it one day at a time.

Like last year, sewing has saved me. October was right up there with the toughest months of 2015. Through it all I kept sewing. A few minutes here, an hour there...and it adds up. I was able to finish 61 blocks of sixteen 2 1/2 inch squares. I like that that comes to 976 squares, a nice round number.

I started over a year ago cutting those small squares from any pieces I had on hand that would give me a square that size. I made piles loosely organized by color family. Then late summer I laid out some blocks and liked what I saw and started sewing them together. I don't have a final layout but I've had fun considering the possibilities~

My word for the year is "trust." The word chose me. I thought it meant to help me focus on trusting the universe and accepting what happens. I learned early in October that it meant to remind me of something else, too...to trust myself. I am grateful to learn that I still do.

April Survival Guide

April is a transition month.  Spring can't quite settle in because winter refuses to quit.  The wide range of temperatures and odd display of weather is confusing.  In years past even April vacation, the third week of the month, has been frustrating.  I have never been able to cross everything off the incredibly long to-do list.

This year was different.  I took some notes so I can happily survive April next year....

Start the vacation week with company.  My son came for an overnight stay the first weekend so the house was clean and the pantry was full.  That freed us up to visit and play with Maggie~

Maggie "holding court"

Go away for a couple days.  Ken was working out of town so I joined him in Dover, New Hampshire for two nights.  His work schedule got crazy but we made it to our favorite restaurant in Portsmouth for dinner~

The view from our table

Work on a project in progress.  In March I cut into strips the first quilt I ever made out of scraps of the clothes I sewed while I was in high school.  The quilt needed an update and over April break it became clear what I wanted to do - add more color~

Framing fabrics are odd pieces handed down from my daughter

Do something new.  Sometime late winter I learned about the Maine Quilt Shop Hop.  It has been a tradition for 12 years but I just heard about it, which is a loss on my part that was corrected this April when I was lucky enough to visit 20 of the 36 shops taking part in this year's month-long challenge.  The idea is to visit as many shops as you can in the month of April, submit your stamped "passport" for a drawing for very nice prizes, and vote for the challenge quilt of your choice [each shop has one].  Here's my choice for the quilt challenge, found in the Sanford Sewing Machines shop~

A 3-D quilt designed by people in the store

Work with fabric.  Yes, it's true.  I bought fabric at most of those quilt shops I visited.  I have four projects in mind and need the raw materials to make them happen.  The lesson is to get the fabric when I see it because I may not find it again.  I traveled 565 miles to shops all over central and southern Maine, saw parts of the state I've never seen before.  It was so much fun!  Here are the solids I bought, all American Made Brand cottons grown, woven, and dyed right here in the USA~

This is a fraction of the colors available

Spend time with Maggie.  I adore this child~

Maggie went shop hopping too

 I survived April and now it is May.  I need to remember these strategies as the journey continues.... 

Studio Space

I brought order to my studio, aka sewing/guest room, in early September so I could take photos.  I thought I might take a few more pictures but the room has been pressed into service since I got it organized and realized its potential.  It's time for the reveal~

Ken crafted this thread shelf

Stacks of squares and possibilities

Sewing corner with work table & design wall

Natural light from the north & west, with room to spread out

The room is not large by any standard, but I have room to move and plenty of surfaces to use.  It's a pleasant space, whether I'm sewing or updating photo albums or generating ideas.  There's lots of dreaming goin' on~ 

August Transition

The first few years I taught I looked forward to and dreaded summer in equal parts.  I looked forward to unscheduled days with my kids, warm sunny weather, time to do the things I enjoyed, and the chance to catch up on all the appointments and home maintenance I didn't have time for during the school year.  I would hit the ground running the day after school ended and go full tilt until the day school started up again.  I wore myself out and never felt like I got everything done.

At some point I figured out that I couldn't save all the fun stuff or all the chores for the time between school years.  I was curious to see if I could remember to live that lesson this summer.

It helped that Ken and I left on vacation just two days after school ended in June.  The trip was literally a "break" in my routine and took us to places we hadn't been before.

It was a summer for a variety of firsts.  Ken and I bought season tickets to the Maine State Music Theater, a slate of four performances at the theater on Bowdoin College Campus.  The musicals this summer were The Full Monty, Sister Act, The Music Man, and Young Frankenstein.  We enjoyed each one and the fun story lines were especially appreciated.

The two quilting retreats were another first for me.  Each experience took me out of my comfort zone and gave me the opportunity to stretch.  It was fun to learn new techniques, meet quilters and designers whose work I admire, and work beside women I wouldn't have met otherwise.

The retreats gave me something else too ~ the joy I feel when I create and sew.  I had forgotten that just twenty minutes of sewing gives me a chance to change gears and recharge.  Even working at twenty-minute intervals projects move forward, and during the time in between I'm thinking about and planning what comes next. 

I haven't rushed to finish anything this summer.  Like quilting, life is a work in progress.

Slow Stitching block for Color Quilt

Block in Completely Cauchy style

"Roberta" block for Color Quilt

Slow Stitching Retreat

The Slow Stitching Retreat, made possible by Samantha Lindgren of A Gathering of Stitches, happened this past weekend in Washington, Maine.  The setting was a picturesque camp, complete with cabins, lodge, fire circle, and paths through the woods.  We were privileged to spend the weekend with Chawne, groundbreaking quilter of Completely Cauchy, and Carolyn Friedlander, talented designer of fabric and patterns.  We learned techniques together, had meals together, and enjoyed the slow pace and slow stitching together.  The weekend was made all the better for me because my daughter was able to attend, too.  She and I rarely have time to sew together, so we made the most of the opportunity. 

The porch of the lodge, perfect for rocking and slow stitching

The barn, where we asked "How small can we go?"

Lots of room to work in the barn

My small log cabins made of Shot Cotton, 2.25" square unfinished

Work space, with good light in the lodge, to cut applique

Basting stitches in red, applique stitches in off white

Appliqued halfway around the outside edge

Finished "Roberta," at 15" square my smallest quilt yet

Again, I came home from a quilting retreat with a new perspective. 

It never occurred to me that I could get so much satisfaction in going smaller in my quilting; I am using techniques I learned this weekend in my work started at the July retreat.  I will share that project in my next post. 

I have always shied away from applique because I didn't know where to begin, much less how to get a pleasing finished look; now I know where to begin and with each stitch I am more satisfied with my technique.

I have been sewing since I was a little girl.  In learning as I go I didn't learn the secret to how to thread a needle, which Night Quilter explains here, or any of the various tips I've picked up while working with other sewers.  It's fun to share stories and ideas and shortcuts.  It's fun to ask, "How small can you go?" and watch quilters finish complete blocks that are smaller than 3" square.  I'm sewing the skinniest strips I never imagined because I picked up hints on how to do that this weekend.

I realized months ago that this summer was going to be different from what I envisioned.  When Chawne mentioned this Slow Stitching Retreat on her blog, I followed the link.  My daughter was able to go, so we made plans.  Return visits to Samantha's blog turned up the Quilters Color Weekend.  I am grateful for the timing of these retreats and for the opportunity to work with the teachers and quilters I have had the pleasure to meet. 

Sometimes change needs a push....

Connecting The Colors

Thirteen years ago I knew I wanted a yellow kitchen with blue accents.  It was the only combination that felt right.  When we moved to our current house, I duplicated the wall color and added even more blue~

The windowsill above the kitchen sink

This past weekend those colors were front and center in my second color palette, along with splashes of different shades of purple~

Yellow & blue tables side by side make me smile

A year ago orange started showing up in my wardrobe and decorating choices.  I hadn't paired it with aqua but that combo, with splashes of green, is the basis of my primary palette~

The bottom left corner says it all

So I shouldn't have been surprised when I surveyed my fabric choices on Friday as I thought about what I wanted to sew with on Saturday.  I had grabbed the prints that most appealed to me for a project, along with pieces I had that most closely resembled solids.  Turns out I don't stash solids but buy them as needed.  On Saturday we shopped at a locally owned fabric store before we began sewing with quilter Heather Jones.  The only fabric I bought that morning that wound up in my squares was dark orange~

"Coins" on the left; "Log Cabin" on the right

Upon reflection, I saw that all the fabric I used from home was given to me by my daughter.  She often cleans out her stash so I have lots and lots of her "seconds" on hand.  It turned out that what looked like random selections went together beautifully, a point brought to my attention through my primary palette~

The paint chips hone in on what colors stand out

Yesterday I re-oriented the room where I sew.  Eight years ago the room was primarily a guest room where I used my sewing machine.  Three years ago I started calling it my sewing room.  This week I ordered a new table and have plans for a design wall.  Yes, the room will still be a nice space for guests, but primarily the room will be my studio.  I didn't know I wanted such a space until the weekend with color.  Now I know....