Monday, November 29, 2010

My Timing Could Be Better

This is the last week of my Buddha Chick class.

Tuesday of next week is the last night of my computer class.

I didn't plan this very well. As of December 8 I will be without my carefully planned schedule of contacts with the outside world. If I'm not careful I will replace it with too many calories and a brouhaha of the worst sort.

I got a call today to see if I am interested in a cookie swap this year. No, I'm not. I don't want all those extra temptations in the house. For the last six years I have found a way to balance my food & drink input with my post-menopausal body, and I've done a pretty good job. Just in the last few weeks I have felt out of balance and realized that I need to recalibrate; I need to cut back on sweets. Right now there are Oreos, which I bought for my son, and Dunkers, from Trader Joe's, in the house. I can limit myself to one of each and hold that line. However, having a dozen different kinds of Christmas cookies in the house is not a good idea.

Town politics are about ready to implode. There will be a letter in tomorrow's local newspaper from one selectman, who is a lawyer, to another selectman delineating all the ways the latter has broken the law. Two of the three selectmen have been having discussions about town business in a local restaurant, and that breaks all kinds of rules. The town manager plans to take medical leave because of the stress she has been under. All of this has been brewing for months with a certain faction who want to "take back their town," but from whom we're not sure because those that are screaming the loudest and spreading rumors are the ones who have majority representation on the select board. There are many of us who want to support the town manager, who has brought the town back from the brink of red ink, but we've had a hard time figuring out how to help. Slowly but surely the truth is coming out, and there's talk the town might be able to enlist a mediator to help get town government back on track. We may need a new selectman or two in the process.

I've been tempted to get my hair cut. Again. I went three weeks ago and now have all kinds of layers I don't know what to do with. Each morning I decide to give it one more day. This is not a good time to make a decision about a return to a short hairstyle.

So, yes, my timing could be better. I'm not sure what I could have done differently, but I'm not looking forward to being left completely to my own devices. I have plenty to do. I always have plenty to do. It's the regular contact with the outside world I will miss.

I wonder what classes are being offered in January....

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Laura's Gratitude Quilt

Laura, at Shine the Divine, has posted an amazing Gratitude Quilt for all to enjoy on this day of Thanksgiving. I encourage you to visit today or tomorrow or this weekend when you have time.

I am grateful for all of you who visit here. Your friendship and support mean more than I can express.

Enjoy this day of Thanksgiving ~

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Adventures In Faith

I left home Friday morning with a change of clothes, a thermos of coffee, two ham sandwiches, a bag of Cape Cod potato chips, and a box of ginger & lemon creme cookies, which were popular with my roommates. Thirty-three of us boarded a tour bus and headed for Hartford. Our bus driver was a spry elderly man who told us he had 2 million miles to his credit as a truck driver, and I believed him after I witnessed his handling of the bus in heavy traffic. He got us to our destination in one piece, ahead of schedule, and with a few good laughs to boot.

On the way south we stopped at the Maine Mall, where some wanted to go shopping. My friend and I instead "mall walked" continuously for the hour, which made it easier to sit on the bus for long periods of time. Recent health issues make my friend easily fatigued and bring on migraines and bouts of dizziness. Under a doctor's supervision, she is figuring out what she needs to do to take care of herself; regular walking when she is on her feet and periodic resting when she gets a chance are two things that help.

When I had asked my friend the name of the event, she said she couldn't remember. I used the bits of information she shared to do a Google search and found an event that fit the description. Once on the bus it was confirmed; we were going to join more than 15,000 others for a Women of Faith conference at the Coliseum. I don't know if my friend really couldn't remember or if she didn't want to take the chance that I would say "no" to her invitation. Either way I was glad to go with her to share an experience she was looking forward to.

Our group, along with countless others, checked into the Hilton across the street from the Coliseum. There was a walkway between the two buildings, which was a real time saver. The staff at the Hilton was helpful and accommodating, and once we got the heat regulated the room was fine. We snacked on the food we brought while my friend rested and we called for more towels.

Then I took a deep breath and we went to the Friday night session of the conference.

I don't write much about religion because I think of myself as spiritual rather than religious.

I grew up in a "peace" church on Capitol Hill in Washington, D.C., which provided places for peace marchers to sleep in the 60's and started a soup kitchen in the fellowship hall in the 70's. I learned at an early age that God loved me and everyone else, and that love didn't depend on how or where we worshipped. I attended church with friends whenever they asked, although they often couldn't reciprocate because they had to attend their particular services. When I was in college I attended a Lutheran church because I liked the sermons and a Methodist church because they had an active youth group.

I have only gotten more liberal as I've gotten older. I appreciate what all religions have to offer, and the more I learn the more I see how much richer life is when I keep an open mind.

My friend knows this about me. She knew I could appreciate the music and the stories even if I don't wear religion on my sleeve. I enjoyed the music of Sandy Patti. I nodded in agreement to the stories of Anita Renfroe and laughed at her comedy, and the stories of Patsy Clairmont, until my side hurt. I couldn't recite a Bible verse if my life depended on it, but I can see the value of bringing those verses to life through stories.

Throughout Friday evening and the sessions on Saturday I found myself looking up to the rafters. I really wanted to see the sky, the full moon beaming and the bright sun shining. We took long walks outside during the breaks.

And during the presentations inside I sent loving-kindness out to the thousands of women at the event. I asked that they be safe, well, happy, peaceful and at ease.

More than once someone said to me, isn't it wonderful to be surrounded by women who believe the way you do? I chose not to respond. I was thinking that my "tent" is so much larger than this and includes so many more than those who believe the way I do. I am grateful for my friends of all faiths and beliefs, as I am grateful that my friend wanted to share her Christian experience with me.

On the way home my friend shared with me that one of the women in the group had approached her. "Your friend..." the woman started "is..." and my friend interjected "different?" "Yes...and she's fun!"

Well, I'm grateful for that, too.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Compassion

Yesterday I clicked on a link to learn more about the Charter for Compassion. Quite by accident I caught the live webcast of an event celebrating the first anniversary of the Charter. Last night I did an online search to see if the webcast was available for viewing and found it here. If you would like a little lift while you hear about some of the positive effects of compassion, I recommend a listen. I know I will return to listen again soon.

One of the main themes of my Buddha Chick class is compassion ~ for myself, for people I love and people I know and people I find difficult. The practice of loving-kindness is one way to start. Its simplicity is deceiving. The benefits are transforming. You can start by saying these phrases for yourself. I borrowed the last line from Mermaid ~

May I be safe
May I be well
May I be happy
May I be peaceful and at ease
May I love and accept myself just as I am

* * * * * * * *

I am leaving this morning on a two-day trip to Hartford, Connecticut. A friend asked me to go with her and a group organized by her mom. I know where and when to meet the bus, and I know it's a conference for women. Beyond that I don't have many details, but I am looking forward to the trip. I am always up for an adventure with a friend.

My guess is that I will have stories to tell upon my return.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Two Quilts In The Making

Earlier this year a friend asked me if I would help her with a project. She wanted to know if I would make each of her adult sons a quilt from the shirts that belonged to their dad, who died unexpectedly in January. Without hesitation I said yes. My friend cut squares in two sizes and said I could be creative in how I constructed each quilt. The colors compliment each other ~

Two weeks ago I started making larger squares from the smaller pieces ~

And paired those with the six-inch squares to make combinations that will eventually find their way into a pattern ~

With a place for special patches from a father's past ~

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Signs Of Autumn

The signs of autumn are clear. November skies continue to amaze me. I cannot remember a year when there has been so much color beyond the trees ~

Ken has spent three days mulching oak leaves on our property ~

And Leo has moved from his post at the top of the stairs to his favorite corner of the living room carpet ~
Yes, autumn is well underway in central Maine.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Paradise Fields

My friend Cynthia Harrison, of A Writer's Diary, has made her book of poetry Paradise Fields available online for your reading pleasure. Some weeks ago she shared printed copies with readers who left comments, and I treasure mine. The poems are insightful and personal. I particularly like the poems she wrote to her sons upon the occasion of their weddings. Those two poems and others in the collection are intimate reflections that Cindy shares with her readers and should be experienced as coming directly from her.

There are two poems that I would like to share here. The first speaks to me as I endeavor to come out of "hiding" and share my whole self with the people in my life. The second offers a promise of what's possible when I let go of fear.

The Great Game
by Cynthia Harrison

How do we ever
tell each other the truth?

We put on our jackets and masks
& leave home for a world of lies.

Yet jackets have pockets
with souls tucked inside

& there are places
where people talk

face naked.


Adventure
by Cynthia Harrison

Walking through the meadow was like taking no steps at all.
I seemed to glide like in a famous dream. Flowers brushed
my soles, I floated in a warm stream and never got wet.
Sun is in your heart, hearts are also eyes, also mirrors
reflecting this perfect place.

I wish we'd stayed forever. I wish we'd never looked toward
the forest at the edge of light. How I hate darkness sweeping
away all comfort. How I hate traveling cautiously,
one foot before the next. I call you to follow, still fearing
intrusions, sudden noises in the underbrush.

You come regardless and catch my fear. This is an
adventure after all. Don't worry, I tell you.
I'm here.

(poems from Paradise Fields by Cynthia Harrison, TCAM Press, 2010.)

Thursday, November 4, 2010

November Sky

I came up the stairs last evening and was struck with the beauty of the sky I saw through the living room window. I went out to the porch to take a photo ~

Outside, there were places where the color was even more stunning ~
The sky reminded me of the wonder that surrounds me.
* * * * * * * *
My day yesterday started with a doctor's appointment. The mobility in my shoulder is improving. The treatments and exercises are working. When I got home I felt at loose ends. I was coming down off the high of five extraordinary days.
* * * * * * * *
On Friday I drove to New Hampshire to meet my friend Laura in person. We have blogged back and forth for several months and have wanted to get together since early summer. She made space for a visit on Friday, even though she hasn't been feeling well. I am so grateful she did. We laughed and shared those stories of who we are and where we come from. I left with the feeling I have when I spend time with a kindred soul.

Then my oldest friend [in years known, not in age] flew to Maine for a long-weekend. She has a lot going on in her life and, while we have tried to make plans for a visit, it didn't look like we'd meet up this year. She surprised me with a phone call last week to say she was making plans to fly into Portland on Saturday. We haven't seen each other in five years, though we talk on the phone and email often. We picked right up where we left off, as we always do, as if the last forty years were merely a blip in time. It's not easy to sustain a close friendship over the years and across the miles, but we have found a way to support each other through all life has to offer. We had such a wonderful time that we are talking about how we can get together next year.
* * * * * * * *
Then it was just me again.
The stark contrast of time alone reminded me to continue the work to befriend myself. Like friendship with others, befriending myself takes time and space and attention.
This month I will let the sky remind me of that.