A Light In The Darkness

I am devastated by last week's election. I went to bed before the election results were final because I was shaking so badly my teeth were chattering. I got up at four the next morning, physically ill. I called in sick and thought I'd go back to bed but I couldn't settle down enough to stay in one place, much less go back to sleep. I cried and fretted, checked websites, then got off the computer only to  listen to bits of the news on television and radio. I couldn't believe it. I could not wrap my head around the devastation that is upon us.

I still can't.

The saving grace two days later was a visit from my son and his family from California. They flew east to attend a wedding in southern Maine and were able to stay with us for two days. We kept meals simple and the schedule flexible. My granddaughter Piper is almost four months old, a cuddle bundle who slept in my arms. She needed to stay with her parents in Portland, but our almost three-year old grandson Kenny came for a sleepover Saturday night.

It was exactly what we needed. We played with trucks, read books, chatted and sang songs, went shopping, checked out the living fish and stuffed animals at LL Bean, ate donuts, watched Toy Story, and focused completely on the joy that is Kenny. He is thoughtful, curious, and funny. His obsession for all things with wheels is contagious. Show him a photo of his cousin and he will focus on the truck in the background. We laughed and cuddled and soaked up his unfiltered enthusiasm for life.

He and my other grandchildren are the reason I will pick myself up, dust myself off, and find out what I can do to combat the insanity that is about to attack the very things that make our country what it is today.

And I have photos to remind me every day where I need to keep my focus~

 

Now November

Days are long. I start most weekdays by 5 a.m. and  forge ahead for 17-18 hours. I am now sure that I will never get caught up at work. Ken asked me early one morning as I sat working at the computer if it was worth it. I said I didn't know.

I am taking it one day at a time.

Like last year, sewing has saved me. October was right up there with the toughest months of 2015. Through it all I kept sewing. A few minutes here, an hour there...and it adds up. I was able to finish 61 blocks of sixteen 2 1/2 inch squares. I like that that comes to 976 squares, a nice round number.

I started over a year ago cutting those small squares from any pieces I had on hand that would give me a square that size. I made piles loosely organized by color family. Then late summer I laid out some blocks and liked what I saw and started sewing them together. I don't have a final layout but I've had fun considering the possibilities~

My word for the year is "trust." The word chose me. I thought it meant to help me focus on trusting the universe and accepting what happens. I learned early in October that it meant to remind me of something else, too...to trust myself. I am grateful to learn that I still do.