Loose Ends And Frayed Edges

A few days after my last post, where I shared that my word for the year is breathe, I moved a bookcase and found behind it a vision board I made six years ago. I had forgotten I stashed it there once it was obvious there was nothing on it relevant to the way my life was working out. However, something caught my eye before I moved the board to the garage, a small piece of paper in the corner. It is a poem titled Climbing The Ridge by Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer:

        one step / one step / i stop / i take

one breath / one breath / warm sun

above / white snow / below

i breathe / i take / one step / one step

It turns out that there was something relevant to my life on that vision board, and it now sits in a place of prominence on my desk.

I was moving furniture that day to make room for a new couch I was finally ready to order. I have been looking for the perfect sectional for two years. The search has been fun, a reason to explore furniture stores and talk to salespeople. Early February I invited an interior designer to take a look at the living room to see what she thought of the fabric and sectional I had decided on. She agreed the colors and size would work. Then she called in early March to say there was a sale on, and I told her I would be in before the end of the month.

Well, you know what they say about best laid plans. 

There was a heavy snowstorm March 14, and our seventh snow day was the result. The next day schools started two hours late to allow time for roads to be cleared. It was a sunny day. My morning was relaxed. I headed into work. Less than two miles from my house I saw a neighbor plowing out his driveway. I hit the brakes and the horn, and I would have had time and room to stop if I hadn't hit ice. I went as far to the other side of the road as I could, but he backed into my front end at full speed. The airbag deployed. I was okay but stunned. The driver took full responsibility but that didn't help my car, which was in excellent condition with many years of traveling left in her. He was driving an uninsured, unregistered heavy duty tow truck that hadn't been inspected for decades.

Nine days later I learned that the collision center, which was originally going to do the repairs, determined that the damage was too extensive. My car was declared a total loss. There were many phone calls to follow up, and three and a half weeks after that the claim was finally settled. 

I have a new car instead of a new couch. I named her Bluebelle. I need to go back to the dealer to meet with one of their tech gurus to learn how to use all the bells and whistles. 

Two weeks ago I saw my osteopath. I described the accident and how I felt frayed, on edge and jumpy. It took some time for me to realize the full extent of how the accident affected me. I would burst into tears at the oddest times and was having weird dreams. She treated me, which helped, and prescribed rest during April vacation, which was last week. 

I did get some rest. I was also able to tie up some other loose ends. More on that next time. 

In the meantime, remember to breathe.