Another Year Ends

I don't know what to think about the end of 2011.

It's not that the end of a year marks anything in particular. One day still follows another. Yes, we start a new calendar, and the date changes on our checks; but day comes after night, and each cycle still has 24 hours.

The thing about this year is that it is ending without anything being that much different than last year. I started the year focused on the word "unafraid" and created a vision board that highlighted change and growth and possibility. I took each day as it presented itself, broadened my view of opportunities, and appreciated my good health. I opened my heart.

Still, here I am this new year's eve, stuck in neutral. For all my optimism, I have not found what I am looking for. Instead, the word "lost" comes to mind this night....

So I turned to Mary Oliver for words of wisdom. I pulled New and Selected Poems Volume Two off the shelf and let the book fall open. These are the words I read:

The Owl Who Comes
by Mary Oliver

The owl who comes
through the dark
to sit
in the black boughs of the apple tree

and stare down
the hook of his beak,
dead silent,
and his eyes,

like two moons
in the distance,
soft and shining
under their heavy lashes-

like the most beautiful lie-
is thinking
of nothing
as he watches

and waits to see
what might appear,
briskly,
out of the seamless,

deep winter-
out of the teeming
world below-
and if I wish the owl luck,

and I do,
what am I wishing for that other
soft life,
climbing through the snow?

What we must do,
I suppose,
is to hope the world
keeps its balance;

what we are to do, however,
with our hearts
waiting and watching--truly
I do not know.

On this night, at year's end, my heart continues to wait and watch ~