Thursday, January 19, 2012

Renewed Determination

In late September I started thinking about what papers I would need to gather to apply for teaching positions. I had decided that since nothing else was panning out that I needed to consider the possibility of a return to the teaching profession.

Just days later I got a call for another interview for a social work position. I thought the interview went well, until I received a letter in late October with the news that I didn't get the job.

Three years. Dozens of applications. Ten interviews. Zero job offers.

I felt defeated, no longer optimistic that I was destined to find employment in the social service field.

The holidays were just around the corner, so it made sense to take a break from the search for work. I had plenty to do and look forward to. The new year would be the time to start again.

And here we are in mid January. It's time.

Last week a friend helped me open a "Dropbox" account, a free website where you can store and then share documents and photos. On Saturday she helped me scan and save in "Dropbox" the documents I have only in paper form so I can submit online applications. She also printed applications for three local districts that still require paperwork to be submitted the old fashioned way, through the mail.

For now I will submit applications to school districts with the hope that I can get work as a substitute teacher. Job openings for next fall will be posted in the spring and summer, and I will have all my paperwork together to apply at that time. If nothing else, districts always need substitutes.

My resume looks splotchy for the last eight years. I will need to account for the two years I spent back in school and my attempt to change careers. It boils down to my feeling that I wanted to give myself a chance to do the work I've wanted to do for more than thirty years. If I didn't take a chance then, when would I do it?

I gave it my best shot. Now it's time to move on.

I have changed my perspective. The first time one of my children's teachers encouraged me to become a teacher, I was surprised. Then a friend shared with me a way to return to college to get a teaching degree. I liked the coursework, my classmates, and being in the classroom with students. The schedule coordinated with the life of my family, so I became a teacher...

with the thought that there would be time to do something different later.

Now I wonder if teaching chose me as much as I chose it. I wonder if the message is that I was on the right path all along. That path includes the return to school for an MSW and the time I have spent without a job. I have learned things about myself I never would have known without that part of the journey. I have changed in ways that I never would have considered possible.

Sometimes the desired goal is not the outcome. Sometimes "no" is the answer.

Message received.

The journey continues....

12 comments:

Joanne said...

In a similar vein, I felt the same way about publishing my book. After years of frustrating close calls, I thought last fall ... If not now, when? Let me tell you, since moving forward with my project, the whole process has been amazing and I wouldn't change a thing. I've learned so much and my life is richer for it.

I'm wishing a "whole latte" of the same for you, Sharon.

Pienosole said...

So true... I wish you well on your continuing journey. Great that you are able to stay open and moving forward.

Laura said...

perhaps the answer is yes, but to a different question? And who knows where those teaching apps will lead? Life is forever twisting and turning in unexpected/unplanned directions...if we let go of the plan and trust that it isn't a map we need but our own inner compass we find we are exactly where we need to be right in this moment. (even if it feels uncomfortable...in time we realize it was exactly as it was meant to be)...I could be wrong...very wrong...but I also could be right.

Does this make any sense??? End of day, I'm tired, I'm sorry if it doesn't.

One Woman's Journey - a journal being written from Woodhaven - her cottage in the woods. said...

I truly agree with Laura. It is the way my life has evolved to 3 score and 10 years. Sure was not what I planned.
But at the moment I know I am where I am suppose to be.
It will happen...

mermaid said...

Thank you so much for this post Sharon! You've written about your career journey from time to time. Though I have not read all the posts, this one in particular spoke to me.

I've felt frustrated for some time now in the medical profession, often wondering why I am not a therapist or doing something else in holistic medicine. Yet, the challenges in my work give me plenty of opportunities for growth.

Wherever the path leads for you and me, I know this much. We are wise and courageous women. We will learn in any environment, and teach/heal from a deep place of compassion.

Here's to the journey:)

Ps. I accidentally rejected your last comment on my blog. Completely unintentional, just going through my email too quickly.

Carolynn Anctil said...

I'm in a state of flux at the moment too. Just last night, I stood outside in the dark, with my dog at my feet, and stared at the stars above my head. I made a confession to the bright lights "I just don't want a job" 3 months unemployed and I'm just not ready to go back to work yet. I can't seem to muster up any guilt about it either. Apathy? Confidence? Faith? *shrug*

Good luck to you!!!

Anonymous said...

Very true, all you said, and it resonates with so many of us. Clearly. I am cheering you on from Michigan ...!!

teri said...

Oh Sharon- How did I miss this post!!?? I am learning so much from you. Probably not what you want to hear- but I am learning that maybe I can put myself out there, maybe I can get stuck in a place I don't want to be, and maybe I can go back to where I was and really be ok with it. I am not sure if this is my journey yet... but you are truly an inspiration and a blessing in my life. xoxo

Anonymous said...

Wow. Big changes ahead for you. I have never subbed but have taught in Michigan schools for 20 years. I'm on a break now because I learned, as you have, to never say never to going back. The new (maybe not so new) online application process threw me for a loop. I had to run around like crazy and then...I didn't get the job. But I am with you, whatever we do, whatever life throws at us, we learn something vital we needed to know from it

cindy said...

Um, sorry, that was me under "anonymous" lol.

Cindy's Coffeehouse said...

Let me join Cindy La Ferle in the Michigan cheering section! You go, girl!

MMH said...

Sounds as if 2012 will be a year of great change. First red shoes, then a drop box and and a possible return to teaching. The world needs good teachers.