Wednesday, December 19, 2012

After The Darkness

I have been breathing deeply and moving slowly.  My sore ribs and pounding heart are taking a long time to heal.

My sorrow is deep, for the loss of innocent lives and for the families of Newtown whose lives will never be the same.  The tears come when I least expect them.    

The words that run through my mind are
There are no stars tonight, only tears that fall.

I have searched for a reference to a poem or song that contains the phrase but have found none.

This morning I lit candles while I mixed cookie dough.  I have so much to be grateful for while families have lost the light of their lives.

Breathing deeply and moving slowly....

Then I put on the first music I have listened to in days, my newest favorite CD The Calling by Mary Chapin Carpenter.  I played it so often when my son was home that he asked me if I had it on repeat.  There in the last song are not the exact words I have been looking for, but I did find the words of hope for light after the darkness ~ 

Bright Morning Star

Last night I dreamed my head was in a fever
Last night I dreamed it never was so far
To reach a shore of safety and redemption
And to gaze upon a bright morning star

I dreamed I was by friends all but abandoned
I dreamed I was alone but for my scars
And blinded by the tears that fell like water
No more to see my bright morning star

The streets of dreams never looked this lonely
The streets of dreams never felt this hard
I heard my voice barely of a whisper
As the clouds denied a bright morning star

Sometimes this life is no more than a moment
And sometimes the light is lost unto the dark
But courage hears the sound of dawn approaching
And each our own bright morning star

I woke to find every window open
I woke to find the heavy door ajar
And I walked outside and stood upon the hilltop
And gazed once more on a bright morning star

I walked outside and every bird was singing
As I found again my bright morning star.

by Mary Chapin Carpenter, 2006.

7 comments:

Carolynn Anctil said...

Those are beautiful lyrics. I'll have to see if I can find the music.
Be gentle with yourself, my Friend.

cindy said...

This episode was especially horrific because the victims were so small, young, innocent. We have had many such hate filled killings in our country. In the world. Ancient cities bombed beyond recognition. I love Mary CC and I have not heard that album. I will certainly add it to my list of music I need to give a listen to. Music is so healing. Thanks for sharing.

Laura said...

so beautiful and appropriate Sharon... I too have been sitting with the darkness... sometimes it is what we need to do.

One Woman's Journey - a journal being written from Woodhaven - her cottage in the woods. said...

Thank you..

mermaid said...

Thank you for sharing those gentle foostep lyrics after such a tragedy. I'm not surprised by your grief, Sharon. You have always had such compassion for others, and the wellspring of your tears shed the outer skin so you could feel what the parents feel.

May you and the millions out there who suffer find peace in this shared humanity.

cindyscoffeehouse said...

Sharon, thank you for sharing your thoughts on this national tragedy, and finding a way to cope through the beauty of a song. I feel it's so important that the people of goodwill in this nation do whatever we can to support each other and support real action to curb such senselessness.

Laura said...

wishing you a very happy New Year!