Friday evening I talked to a neighbor I haven't seen for several months. She lives two miles down the road and I wanted to know if she could look in on Millie the days I will be gone this week. She isn't able to help but it was good to catch up with her. The conversation inevitably turned to my job search. I heard myself say that I take responsibility for the situation I'm in ~ I made decisions along the way that have brought me to this place and, while I would do things differently if I could go back, the only way is forward.
The universe winked at me today when someone who knows me very well gave me a card that says:
Is willing to accept
that she creates her own reality
except for some of the parts
where she can't help but wonder
what the hell she was thinking
Brian Andreas
This evening I have been reflecting on that, while packing and getting the house in order. Fourteen years ago I would move heaven and earth to get ready to leave for nine days of residency at Goddard College: solidifying family schedules, planning meals, cleaning house, and writing lesson plans for my students in addition to whatever I needed to have done for my own classes. I looked forward to every trip back then.
This weekend I've had to push myself to get ready to be gone for four days. I'm going because I've made the commitment to go and deep down I know the experience will be good for me. That doesn't mean that the doubts and disappointments haven't been front and center. Let's say that my mood hasn't been the most pleasant. I'd like to have someone else to blame, but it's all on me.
It hasn't helped that Millie isn't feeling well. I took her to the vet Friday, and she's dehydrated again. It looks like there will always be certain things we have to do to keep her healthy, and tomorrow I will get a lesson on how to inject her with fluid. I really don't want to do this, but I made the commitment to take care of her and this is part of that. My daughter has generously offered to look in on her every evening, so I know Millie will be fine while I'm gone.
I will be fine, too.
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2 comments:
Damn right you'll be fine. Safe travels. Brilliant quote; I'll borrow it soon, of that I'm sure.
I love Brian Andreas -- I have several of his quotes on art prints of his, and give them as gifts. They seem to find their way to the right people.
I must have missed an earlier post about Goddard College ... can you tell me more? Is it the MFA program? I've heard great things,, so tell me what you will be doing out there, when you have time. Pls send an email, and best of luck, safe travels!! Hugs.
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