Back To Work

The volume control has disappeared from the task bar on my laptop.  Vanished.  I know it still exists somewhere, but I've looked everywhere and I can't find it.  It will turn up eventually.  In the meantime I have found ways to work around the missing icon by adjusting the volume on each individual show I watch.  This is how I get news and television shows and Netflix, often while I am doing a variety of chores and activities all over the house.  I would be lost without it, so I found a way to make it work.

I had trouble finding the words to write about my new job...

Until I realized it's a lot like my laptop with the missing volume control.

I need this job for a variety of reasons.  First and foremost, I want to be working.  I am an active, intelligent woman with abilities and a lot to offer.  We want to pay down our mortgage, and I need money toward my retirement.  I didn't plan to return to teaching but this is the job I was offered.  The job is not set up the way I would do it, but that is not for me to say.  I need to start somewhere to get back in the classroom, and this is where I find myself right now.  I want and need this job, so I am finding ways to make it work.

Nothing about how the job is set up is intuitive for me ~ not the room arrangement or how materials are organized, not the schedule or the structure of lessons, not the forms we use or all the ways to keep track of the same information.  I have had to find ways for the myriad of things I am expected to do to make sense for me.

A breakthrough came this week when I learned I could set up my planbook any way that works for me.

This is essential.  Teachers are particular about how we set up our classrooms, our resources, our files, our desk, and our planbook, the place where many of us keep track of absolutely everything.  The planning notebook system in place was not working for me but I wasn't sure I had a choice.  It turns out I do and I knew exactly what I wanted: two open pages of orderly boxes with the dates across the top and the times down the left side, with room to write lesson plans and make notes.  The entire week is available at a glance and the amount of space limits what I write to the essence of what I need to know and remember.  I breathed a sigh of relief and put my system in place immediately.  It has made all the difference in the way I keep track of my week.

Slowly I am finding other ways to inject my experience and expertise into my day.  I organize tasks in ways that make sense to me and complete them in a timely manner, which reassures people that I know what I'm doing and can be trusted to do the job.

My duties include 45 minutes on the playground for recess every single day.  For a classroom teacher that would be an unacceptable amount of duty time, but it is the expectation for the position I currently hold.  I immediately fell into my pattern of continually moving throughout the area to always have eyes open to what is happening and to make connections with kids.  I am learning names, which is a challenge without a seating chart or a regular daily context to place kids with their names.  But we are getting to know each other.

My other duty is oversight of dismissal of students who are picked up by someone in a car.  I ask students if they see "their people" as we stand at the cafeteria door and wait for cars to come through the driveway.   After a few days I made a suggestion to the principal about dismissing all students for "pick up" at once instead of one grade at a time.  The next day we tried it and cut the waiting time in half, which is a win for everyone involved.  The students dismissed this way varies each day, but we are getting to know each other.

I am finding small ways to connect with other staff.  Those of us on duty together agree on expectations and rules, and we are learning tidbits about each other.  I asked the librarian if I could eat lunch in a quiet, out of the way corner of the library, explaining my desire for time away from the fray.  She totally got it and said yes.  I have emailed and made plans to meet with the person on staff who knows the most about re-certification, which I need to do in two years.  I expressed an interest in and have received the information about what I need to do to join the union.

The best part about the job is the students ~ third, fourth, and fifth graders.  I haven't taught third grade since I was a student teacher in 1992 and I forgot how little they are.  Without exception, I have always found that kids are receptive if you take them where they are.  It turns out that is still true.  I am having a good time getting to know the students.  If I am willing to listen, I can find out what I need to know to best help them learn.  Kids will tell you everything if you pay attention.

I knew I was going back to teaching a different person than I was when I left the classroom 11 years ago.  There was no way to know if I would be able to bring with me to a situation so familiar all those years ago how I have learned to be now.

Since the first moment in the school I have made a conscious effort to stay present.  I let go the things I have no control over.  My comments are positive.  I focus on what is in front of me and take a walk if I need a break.  Someone else may feel frazzled, but I don't take that on.  I know what I need to do and can do it with intention.  Throughout the first two weeks I have felt calm and capable.

I am tired.  There aren't enough hours in the day to do all the things I have been doing for the past seven years when I am gone from home nine hours a day.  That will have to figure itself out.

This is where I am right now.  It is not the ideal situation but I am finding ways to make it work for me.

The journey continues....