Day 217

A week ago I had a chance to catch up with someone I haven't seen since February. I mentioned how many days I had been staying safely at home, and she was surprised I knew the number. I didn't start keeping count on purpose; it was after weeks went by that I was curious how many days it had been. I told her that in the beginning it didn't occur to me that it would be months, and maybe more than a year, before I could visit family and friends with nary a care.

That knowledge in the beginning would not have been helpful. It was nice to be ignorant of what was ahead.

Summer was another kind of reprieve ~ warmth and sun and more light than dark made the days easier. 

Now that autumn is in full swing with its cooler temperatures and colors and changing light, I am changing gears. I have been going full speed with busy-ness, racing against nonexistent deadlines. Other than paying bills when due and voting, I don't have to get anything accomplished by a certain time. 

I wish that realization provided more relief than it does. I like beginnings and endpoints and deadlines. The more I have to do in a certain amount of time, the more I get done in the time allotted. I like organization, routines, and schedules. I am good at getting things completed and take satisfaction in a job well done. 

I've felt at odds with all the "free" time. Without deadlines I keep assigning more chores, starting more projects, and ending the days feeling like I can't get everything done, the everything that I've put on myself to do.

Now that I've figured this out I'm changing things up a bit. I started something new this month that is helping me change the pace. I wasn't sure how it would work out and it's taken me a number of days to find a groove. A few more days and I'll be ready to share.

The journey continues....