Houses Are Us

In the last week and a half I have been to the bookstore twice to take a survey of the books on dreams. I looked through four or five on my first visit. It was confirmed that a "house" in a dream symbolizes the life of the person dreaming. There are a wide range of interpretations beyond that, some based in reality and some based on theories that require more imagination than I have.

I thought that maybe just dipping my toe in the interpretative waters would hold the dreams at bay for a bit and give me time to figure some things out.

But no. I had another vivid dream about another house, one I hadn't dreamed about before. The colors, space, and people were clear, and a person I know called me on the phone in the dream. I remembered all of it.

Yesterday I bought one of the books, Dream Dictionary by Tony Crisp (Dell Publishing, 2002). The subtitle is An A to Z Guide to Understanding Your Unconscious Mind. I like the way the book is organized and how thorough the definitions are. The author not only delineates every kind of building, home, and house but also the different parts of a building inside and out, as well as the condition they are in. The author also considers the meaning of whether or not other people are present and how the dreamer is feeling. It's all very interesting and will take time to sort out.

I have already discovered a few ideas that feel right to me. An attacker or intruder from outside signifies social pressures or response to criticism. I have had dreams about intruders since my childhood. In fourth grade we were supposed to paint a dream we'd had, and I painted a robber trying to get into my house past the trash cans. In the years since I've had countless dreams of trying to keep doors closed and running from door to door to make sure they are closed and locked. Often I have to hold the door shut against an intruder, and sometimes I wake myself up because I can't do it anymore. In real life I spend a lot of time worrying about how people take what I say, often rethinking a normal conversation and whether or not I said the wrong thing. I worry that people misunderstood what I meant and if I've hurt their feelings.

As far as the rooms in the houses I frequent, I am most often in the living room, which Crisp describes as personal leisure; "space" to be oneself; everyday life. If you know anything about me and the last three years of my life, you know that this is where my struggle lies. The fact that I am constantly moving furniture in different living rooms in my dreams gives me hope that I'm still searching and will find the right "arrangement" eventually.

I have been in a dining room or two, which stands for appetites; social or family contact; mental or psychological diet, and the occasional kitchen, which signifies creativity; nourishing oneself; mother role. Each one these points to a change in my life and/or what I am trying to sort out.

As I read through the pages of the dream books, I looked at all the possible subjects people can dream about and what they might mean. I don't take any of this as the final word, but it is interesting that of all the things I could dream about and all the situations I could find myself in, I repeatedly dream about being in a room in a house. These dreams used to be interspersed with dreams about teaching, meetings in conference rooms, and travel ~ and I do intend to investigate what those topics mean in the dreamworld. Lately, the house dreams have become more frequent and persistent.

For the most part my dreams seem to be about my inner life. It's as though my unconscious feels that I'm not paying enough attention, while I think this is on my mind every waking hour. It could be that my unconscious needs to help me out because I've done all the thinking about it that I can do.

Tomorrow I am taking the exploration of my inner self in yet another new direction. At 2:00 on Thursday afternoon I have an appointment to have my birth chart read. I called last week and was surprised he could meet with me so quickly. In preparation he needed only my birthdate, time of birth, where I was born, and where I live now. It will be a 90-minute reading, which he tape records, and I can take notes. I am excited and a bit nervous.

The journey continues....