Everybody's Fine. The Robert De Niro movie by that name has been going through my mind since Friday. In the movie De Niro's character, Frank, travels to see each of his grown children to make sure they're fine.
In my case, my children have been checking in regularly to let me know they're fine. My son in Boston called early Friday morning to tell me he was okay before I had any idea there was a manhunt underway. He was home trying to figure out how to get to work, and soon after his call we heard that all of Boston was told to shelter in place.
I watched and listened as Friday's events unfolded. I kept thinking the police would locate the suspect...any minute they would come upon him hiding...arrest him...and this chapter would be finished, though the story was just beginning. I was concerned about the safety of my son, but I was acutely aware that the bombing suspects were someone's sons, too.
It feels like someone put the world on vibrate....
Two weeks ago during a massage my body started to vibrate. It was unexpected but not scary, odd but not hurtful. I felt the effects for hours afterward. A few days later I asked my daughter what she thought the vibrating meant. She said she didn't have a scientific explanation, but she had a theory and used a metaphor to explain: When musicians in an orchestra tune their instruments before a concert, the sounds are disjointed, apart from one another, out of sync. Each instrument needs to be tuned on its own before it carries its part within the group. When the conductor taps his wand, the sounds find each other, come together, and play in harmony.
Chaos lays the groundwork for harmony.
That explanation has been reassuring to me as I reflect on all that is happening, in my life and out in the world. I want a reason for continued optimism. I want to believe that we will figure this out.
I like to think that through it all we are moving toward harmony....
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5 comments:
Sharon, your perceptions continue to amaze me. You realized the Boston suspects are also someone else's sons as you thought of your own son.
Chaos usually precedes peace. Maybe your body was vibrating because it sensed upcoming chaos. Maybe peace isn't just about external harmony, but internal compassion for all.
Your face looked so familiar to me, then I realized I know you because of Carolynn. I appreciated reading your piece very much, and I think you are probably adept at juggling. What a gift, to keep multiple and often conflicting ideas going at the same time.
Lovely metaphor your daughter voiced. I'd like to think we're heading toward harmony, as well.
After 4-16-2007 at Virginia Tech I can remember getting email after email from friends saying they were ok. With each person my relief was intense. I can remember crying and crying once everyone I knew was ok. And then crying more for all those who lost. I wonder how the mother of the shooter must feel. It took me a full year to clear the fog from my head. To this day I cannot hear campus sirens or ambulances without sending up a prayer. We live in unbalancing times. Sending light and love. xoxo teri
I think we all need to find some harmony in this chaotic world right now...
And I am glad to hear that somehow you are finding it in yours.
Jen
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