It happened Monday ~ sunshine streamed through the windows and the temperature climbed into the thirties. I was home for the day and had the opportunity to relish the light and warmth.
The day was a glorious reprieve from the previous two weeks of frigid cold. Two days the temperatures were so low that we had inside recess, and the other days registered in the high teens and low twenties with the wind chill, which makes for a cold forty-five minutes outside.
This week is warmer. We haven't had a repeat of Monday's temps but it has made it into the twenties with no wind and the sun shining each day. It also helps that I have a new coat. I found the perfect knee-length parka at LLBean in December, but I refused to pay full price. I figured if the coat was meant to be mine I would find it on sale after the holidays. Last Friday, with the mercury down around zero, I found one coat in my size on deep clearance at the LLBean Outlet in Freeport. With my new fleece-lined wool mittens and my boots with wool liners I am now toasty warm every day.
Life is challenging enough without being cold.
I will admit that my feelings have been somewhat frozen since the first of the year, stalled in time. Bit by bit there has been a thaw, and like frozen fingers that slowly warm there have been fresh pangs of pain, new twinges of realization.
It is in this context of weather and emotion that I have considered the choice of a word for 2015. This is not a process I force and two years ago no word made itself clear.
For 2011 the word "unafraid" was front and center.
In 2012 the word "possibility" presented itself and was the theme for the year.
Last year the word "release" was my guide.
Since the holidays, a few words have come to mind, words too passive for all that has already been said and done this year. I need a strong word, a positive message for my heart and mind. I want a word that signifies openness, light, and warmth. I want a word that encompasses a healing heart, feelings other than sadness and anxiety, and new ways of thinking.
My word for 2015 is "freedom." I knew I had made the right choice when I heard Janis Joplin on the car radio singing, "Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose."
It is also a word for all I have to gain.
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6 comments:
You write so purely from the heart...and those last few lines, they mean so much.
I hope that you do find your freedom, your release, and yes, your future.
Jen
excellent choice. I remember some song lyrics I had heard many times but until I decided to divorce my first husband they didn't really register...sometimes we live our lives in chains never knowing we hold the key. They may be improperly quoted and I can't remember the name of the song or the band but I clearly remember where I was when I 'heard' them with my heart.
Ah, so well said, Sharon.
Wishing you a year filled with freedom to lose what you don't need and to gain what your heart needs most.
Like your new word.
One asked me recently
why do you have the word
Release
posted all over your cottage :)
Take care
Yes, lyrics really do sound different depending on our perspective and what you're going through...I wish you strength and clarity as you go where freedom takes you.
(Ellen above, I think that line is from the Eagles' "Already Gone".)
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