Recently I discovered Robert Fulghum's newest book, What On Earth Have I Done? I have been a fan of his for over 20 years, have read most of what he has published, and continue to enjoy his work. This book is a collection of essays about Seattle, Moab (Utah), and Crete. Fulghum spends part of his time living in each of these places and brings each community to life with his stories.
As often happens with me, this was the right book at the right time. The page before the title page lists Questions asked of children by parents and then repeats the list as the Questions he still asks himself: "What on earth have I done?" "What in the name of God am I doing?" "What will I think of next?" "Who do I think I am?" Since these are some of the very questions I have been wrestling with for the last year, it felt like I had found a kindred spirit. I knew that even if I didn't find any answers, I would find stories that made me laugh.
And laugh I did, sometimes right out loud. I reflected on aspects of my own life. I also cried because some of his stories get right to the heart of what life is all about. The stories are so varied and told so well that I will not try to retell them here. I did want to share three small excerpts that particularly struck a chord with me.
In a story about baptism, Fulghum ends with these words: "The Great Law of the Conservation of Matter and Energy says nothing is ever lost. Everything is saved. Everything comes and goes. It only changes form. Water is essential to life. As is earth and energy. We exist in the flow of the mud and light."(p. 185) We live with what's hard and what's easy, some days we trudge along and some days we fly high.
In a story about his barber on Crete, he writes about how he feels like a member of the community. Fulghum writes: "And I am old enough to know that in this life you see what you look for, and you get what you are open to receive."(p. 230) This so beautifully echoes all that I've read about being present, having a positive outlook, and staying open to possibility.
One of the last stories in the book revisits an essay, The Meaning of Life, that first appeared in Fulghum's second book. Here he gives the background for the story and shares what happened many years later. The main character in the story is the man who established The Orthodox Academy of Crete, a place where people from all over the world come to resolve conflicts and share ideas. The man carries a small round mirror that he has had since he was a child, when he would use it to reflect light into dark places. Fulghum shares the man's explanation of the meaning of his life:
"I kept the little mirror, and as I went about my growing up, I would take it out in idle moments and continue the challenge of the game. As I became a man, I grew to understand that this was not just child's play but a metaphor for what I might do with my life. I came to understand that I am not the light or the source of light. But light - the light of truth, understanding, and knowledge - is there, and that light will only shine in many dark places if I reflect it. I am a fragment of a mirror whose whole design and shape I do not know. Nevertheless, with what I have I can reflect light into the dark places of this world - into the dreary places in the hearts of men - and change some things in some people. Perhaps others may see and do likewise. That is what I am about. That is the meaning of my life." (p. 291)
This man on Crete started with the idea of creating a place where groups of people, who see no way they could ever be in the same room with each other much less get along, could come together to find ways to solve their conflicts and share ideas. His idea became a reality, a place where dreams are realized. That story exemplifies presence, vision, and possibility.
I needed to read these stories right now at this time in my life, to hear again that it matters that I continue to dream and believe that those dreams are possible.
I needed to read these stories at this time in our country's history. We cannot buy into all the negativity swirling about because that means we believe it, and that is what will become real for us. We deserve so much more than that. We can keep moving forward as we look for the light. If we look for the best, we can find it. And we can shine our own light into the dark places.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Monday, September 8, 2008
Monday Musings
I didn't sleep well last night. There is a lot riding on today, and I woke up thinking about the possibilities.
On July 31 I submitted an application online for an Innovation Grant sponsored by Whirlpool. I learned about it two days before the deadline through a post on Jamie's blog JPD [where she writes about the how's & why's and the ups & downs of having a small business]. Today is the day the winners will be notified. Any prize would be an amazing boost because each winner is invited to the Whirlpool plant in Michigan to meet with experts who know about business plans, production, and marketing. It has been fun to dream about winning a prize. After today, I will know the reality.
Today is also the day that one of the most active and influential nonprofits in the state will review resumes for a position in their office. I read the announcement for the position weeks ago and imagined what it would be like to get the job. I had to decide if I wanted to merely think about what it would mean to work there or if I wanted to put myself out there and apply. I have been putting myself out there for over a year, and the results have been less than stellar, as in few interviews and no offers. This position in this nonprofit is the cream of the crop for someone who wants to do what I want to do. So on Friday I went by their office and dropped off a cover letter, resume, and writing sample. Today I woke up thinking about this job and how long it will take to hear one way or the other about an interview.
I have always been a planner, so these last-minute applications are really out of character for me. I am also surprised at how I give each opportunity my best shot. I don't know which contact or application may lead to a job or business opportunity.
So today is a big day, and while I was musing about the possibilities this morning, the phone rang. Now I believe in positive thinking, and I really do think the universe is paying attention, but I jumped when the phone rang. I collected myself, sure that it was too early for an answer to either opportunity.
I answered the phone, surprised to hear that it was someone I've been trying to contact for almost four weeks. I had filed this under "a good lead that is not going to develop." This was the person I called on the recommendation of someone who had filled a part-time position but thought I was qualified for a full-time position with the same project. Until today I have only been able to leave messages at the number I was given, and I have been unable to find an announcement of the position. On the phone, she explained the reasons for the way things have transpired, which are typical at the start of a new project. There will be just a week between the announcement and the calls for interviews, so she encouraged me to email her my resume soon. I can do that.
This day started with two possible opportunities on deck. With one phone call another possibility has been added to the list. I am grateful that the journey continues....
On July 31 I submitted an application online for an Innovation Grant sponsored by Whirlpool. I learned about it two days before the deadline through a post on Jamie's blog JPD [where she writes about the how's & why's and the ups & downs of having a small business]. Today is the day the winners will be notified. Any prize would be an amazing boost because each winner is invited to the Whirlpool plant in Michigan to meet with experts who know about business plans, production, and marketing. It has been fun to dream about winning a prize. After today, I will know the reality.
Today is also the day that one of the most active and influential nonprofits in the state will review resumes for a position in their office. I read the announcement for the position weeks ago and imagined what it would be like to get the job. I had to decide if I wanted to merely think about what it would mean to work there or if I wanted to put myself out there and apply. I have been putting myself out there for over a year, and the results have been less than stellar, as in few interviews and no offers. This position in this nonprofit is the cream of the crop for someone who wants to do what I want to do. So on Friday I went by their office and dropped off a cover letter, resume, and writing sample. Today I woke up thinking about this job and how long it will take to hear one way or the other about an interview.
I have always been a planner, so these last-minute applications are really out of character for me. I am also surprised at how I give each opportunity my best shot. I don't know which contact or application may lead to a job or business opportunity.
So today is a big day, and while I was musing about the possibilities this morning, the phone rang. Now I believe in positive thinking, and I really do think the universe is paying attention, but I jumped when the phone rang. I collected myself, sure that it was too early for an answer to either opportunity.
I answered the phone, surprised to hear that it was someone I've been trying to contact for almost four weeks. I had filed this under "a good lead that is not going to develop." This was the person I called on the recommendation of someone who had filled a part-time position but thought I was qualified for a full-time position with the same project. Until today I have only been able to leave messages at the number I was given, and I have been unable to find an announcement of the position. On the phone, she explained the reasons for the way things have transpired, which are typical at the start of a new project. There will be just a week between the announcement and the calls for interviews, so she encouraged me to email her my resume soon. I can do that.
This day started with two possible opportunities on deck. With one phone call another possibility has been added to the list. I am grateful that the journey continues....
Saturday, September 6, 2008
My Favorite Kind of Saturday
There was a relaxed start to the day with a leisurely breakfast of cereal and coffee, followed by reading the newspaper and my favorite blogs; today's laundry was started and yesterday's was folded and put away; took care of paperwork; ran into town to visit the ATM and take a walk; got home to start ham for dinner and blueberry crisp for dessert; prepared to top off the day with a DVD. Now that's my idea of a perfect Saturday in September.
Last night Ken and I had a night "out." We started at the Portland Museum of Art, which has free admission Friday evenings from 5-9. This is the last week-end for an exhibit of photographs of Georgia O'Keefe and her home in New Mexico. The gallery was crowded but it was worth the effort to see the unique collection and get a feel for O'Keefe's life in the desert.
Afterward we went to dinner at a restaurant we've wanted to try for some time. I made reservations the last time I was in Portland because I had a feeling I would have something to celebrate. Well, having a store interested in carrying my product is something to celebrate. Dinner was excellent - we each had the mixed grill of tenderloin, scallops, and shrimp. We shared lemon creme brulee for dessert, and I had one delicious cup of coffee.
I mentioned to Ken earlier in the evening that we may be able to catch a movie, and he was game. We caught the last show of Vicki Cristina Barcelona, Woody Allen's latest. It was typical Woody Allen with a Spanish flavor. We were able to see it in an intown independent theater, no glitz or blaring commercials but some fun previews.
This evening the rain is coming down in sheets, providing a loud backdrop through open windows. It's time for dessert and a movie, The Natural on DVD. Ken rarely requests a movie from Netflix but something reminded him of this Robert Redford classic, so I moved it to the top of our queue. For those of us without cable, satellite, or a local video store/library for rentals, Netflix is priceless. And that blueberry crisp should be just the right temperature....
Last night Ken and I had a night "out." We started at the Portland Museum of Art, which has free admission Friday evenings from 5-9. This is the last week-end for an exhibit of photographs of Georgia O'Keefe and her home in New Mexico. The gallery was crowded but it was worth the effort to see the unique collection and get a feel for O'Keefe's life in the desert.
Afterward we went to dinner at a restaurant we've wanted to try for some time. I made reservations the last time I was in Portland because I had a feeling I would have something to celebrate. Well, having a store interested in carrying my product is something to celebrate. Dinner was excellent - we each had the mixed grill of tenderloin, scallops, and shrimp. We shared lemon creme brulee for dessert, and I had one delicious cup of coffee.
I mentioned to Ken earlier in the evening that we may be able to catch a movie, and he was game. We caught the last show of Vicki Cristina Barcelona, Woody Allen's latest. It was typical Woody Allen with a Spanish flavor. We were able to see it in an intown independent theater, no glitz or blaring commercials but some fun previews.
This evening the rain is coming down in sheets, providing a loud backdrop through open windows. It's time for dessert and a movie, The Natural on DVD. Ken rarely requests a movie from Netflix but something reminded him of this Robert Redford classic, so I moved it to the top of our queue. For those of us without cable, satellite, or a local video store/library for rentals, Netflix is priceless. And that blueberry crisp should be just the right temperature....
Friday, September 5, 2008
Let the Connections Continue
Yesterday I needed to buy fabric. No, really, I had to go into a fabric store, touch everything that was 100% cotton, imagine how each pattern would look as bias tape, and decide which ones I wanted to take home with me.Yes, I need to make bias tape. I need fabric that will make unique edging for an IntiMat® because last week I met a woman who is interested in carrying them in her store. This is a first!
It all started when I took an IntiMat® with me to Portland to show the owner of the store that is planning to close. I wanted her opinion. She said it was lovely. Then she said there was a shop around the corner that may be interested, so around the corner I went. The owner was in the shop and liked the idea of the IntiMat® as a soft towel, especially for babies. She asked if I could do another type of edging. I said sure! We discussed fabrics and colors. Our plan is to meet the third week in September.
In the meantime I have work to do. For now I will make up a sample or two, and I will take the others to show the range of possibilities. A friend who lives in the Southwest is looking for interesting fabric from that part of the country.
My favorite part of this whole story is how I found the first store on the recommendation of my daughter and the second store on the recommendation of the first store owner. Connections. Personal contact. Two things that are hard to find when working alone, while they are essential in business, and in life.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Politics and Pundits
I should have known better. I knew it wasn't good for me. At 11:30 last night I was drinking my third cup of coffee and munching on potato chips as I watched Charlie Rose and the pundits at his round table talk about the evening's speeches.
Yes, I tuned in last night at 10:00, against my better judgment but feeling like I should see what the republicans were going to say. I watched the speeches of Rudy G. and Sarah P.... Well, actually I listened and glanced at the television while I checked what my favorite pundits were saying online. Their impressions were the same as mine about the negative tone, the mocking of the democrats, and the absence of talk about what they would do for the economy, education, health care, equal pay, and how our nation is viewed by the eyes of the world. I felt deflated when I crawled into bed at 12:22 this morning.
What a difference from last week, when I watched the democratic convention every night. I'd start each evening with the Jim Lehrer NewsHour and stay with PBS as the speeches started. I like the reporters, political pundits, and historians on public television. I rely on their balanced reporting and commentary. Each night at the convention the speech-makers presented what the democrats would do for America. Sure, they talked about how they differed from the republicans, but the essence of every speech was to lay out the specific changes a democratic administration would make to improve the lives of Americans and rebuild relationships around the world.
Last week I felt inspired and hopeful about the future. Hillary, Bill, Joe, and Barack made me think about what's possible. I thought back to what Bill Clinton was able to accomplish as president. This country can flourish again, if the democrats win the election.
Yes, I tuned in last night at 10:00, against my better judgment but feeling like I should see what the republicans were going to say. I watched the speeches of Rudy G. and Sarah P.... Well, actually I listened and glanced at the television while I checked what my favorite pundits were saying online. Their impressions were the same as mine about the negative tone, the mocking of the democrats, and the absence of talk about what they would do for the economy, education, health care, equal pay, and how our nation is viewed by the eyes of the world. I felt deflated when I crawled into bed at 12:22 this morning.
What a difference from last week, when I watched the democratic convention every night. I'd start each evening with the Jim Lehrer NewsHour and stay with PBS as the speeches started. I like the reporters, political pundits, and historians on public television. I rely on their balanced reporting and commentary. Each night at the convention the speech-makers presented what the democrats would do for America. Sure, they talked about how they differed from the republicans, but the essence of every speech was to lay out the specific changes a democratic administration would make to improve the lives of Americans and rebuild relationships around the world.
Last week I felt inspired and hopeful about the future. Hillary, Bill, Joe, and Barack made me think about what's possible. I thought back to what Bill Clinton was able to accomplish as president. This country can flourish again, if the democrats win the election.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Jon Stewart Is Back In My Life
This evening, for the first time since we moved into this house, I was able to get The Daily Show online! This is unbelievable. We have tried on and off for 15 months to tune in, with no luck. This week, of all weeks, I have found a way to stream full shows, able to watch Jon Stewart in all of his Indecision 2008 glory.
I had planned to watch some of the republican convention on television. Really I did. I thought I owed it to the democratic process to tune in for at least some of the hullabaloo from the other side. However, with the past week-end of lies and hypocrisy, after the past eight years of lies and hypocrisy, I just couldn't do it.
In desperation I turned once again to ComedyCentral.com to see if there was any chance I could watch bits of Jon Stewart's biased, sarcastic coverage of the democratic convention from last week. Imagine my surprise at the new lay-out of the website, the new catalog of weeks' worth of shows, and my ability to click on a screen of The Daily Show and watch the entire show in its unedited, uninterrupted glory.
I thought I would watch just the show from last Tuesday, which highlighted Monday's events at the convention in Denver. It was refreshing and funny and went by much too quickly. Okay, I thought, I will watch Wednesday's show...but my appetite for political satire was not satisfied until I had watched all the shows from last week.
The bright spots in all of this are: 1) I can talk Ken into watching the shows this week-end because he hasn't seen them yet, and 2) I will be able to watch The Daily Show coverage of the republican coverage once those shows are available.
Oh, life is good.
I had planned to watch some of the republican convention on television. Really I did. I thought I owed it to the democratic process to tune in for at least some of the hullabaloo from the other side. However, with the past week-end of lies and hypocrisy, after the past eight years of lies and hypocrisy, I just couldn't do it.
In desperation I turned once again to ComedyCentral.com to see if there was any chance I could watch bits of Jon Stewart's biased, sarcastic coverage of the democratic convention from last week. Imagine my surprise at the new lay-out of the website, the new catalog of weeks' worth of shows, and my ability to click on a screen of The Daily Show and watch the entire show in its unedited, uninterrupted glory.
I thought I would watch just the show from last Tuesday, which highlighted Monday's events at the convention in Denver. It was refreshing and funny and went by much too quickly. Okay, I thought, I will watch Wednesday's show...but my appetite for political satire was not satisfied until I had watched all the shows from last week.
The bright spots in all of this are: 1) I can talk Ken into watching the shows this week-end because he hasn't seen them yet, and 2) I will be able to watch The Daily Show coverage of the republican coverage once those shows are available.
Oh, life is good.
Monday, September 1, 2008
Labor Day
Today is September 1st and Labor Day. When the first Monday in September is the 1st of the month, Labor Day is the earliest it can possibly be. I've been confused about what day it is for weeks, so I'm glad to finally have a handle on the day, date, and month.
I'm ready to start a new month. The first two weeks of August it did nothing but rain. Then we had ten days of gorgeous summer days followed by warm summer nights - the best August has to offer. For the last week the warm, sunny days have continued, but they have been followed by cool nights - a sign that autumn is on its way. It has gotten so cool at night that I've started moving the hibiscus under the porch roof or into the house to protect the buds that have appeared in the last several days; I've been encouraging this plant all summer and may finally have something to show for my effort. If it's going to get that cool at night, it might as well be September.
Ken and I, our sons, and our oldest son's girlfriend spent the last August afternoon in Portland at a SeaDogs [the AA team for Boston] game. We had seats in the picnic area, compliments of our youngest son's current place of co-op employment. The tickets included lunch, which had all the ingredients of a good old-fashioned cook-out and the best ice cream sandwiches you have ever eaten - called SeaDog Biscuits, they are made with chocolate chip cookies and vanilla ice cream. Mmmmm good. The game was pretty good, too, with a come-back in the 8th inning to within one run, but we lost 5-4. The SeaDogs have made it into the play-offs, though, and we had a fun day at the ballpark, so it was a good time all around.
Last night Ken built a campfire in the fire circle we have in our front yard, a term I use loosely for the piece of uneven ground between the driveway and the tree line. We didn't want a full dinner, so hot dogs cooked on sticks over an open fire sounded like the perfect meal, and they were delicious. Fresh rolls and a choice of ketchup or mustard. Cold beer. Plenty of wood to throw on the fire. Then when the embers were glowing red hot, we had the ideal conditions to roast marshmallows for s'mores. Decadent overindulgence too good to pass up.
It was a family week-end that felt like more than a transition from one month to another, one season into another. It was time together that marked the transition from a family of parents and children to a family of adults ~ related friends who decided to spend time with each other for no other reason than they wanted to ~ people with interconnected lives who now stand alone more often than not and still choose to come together when given the chance. It was a week-end that helped me move a bit further along on my journey, as I looked back at how far I've come.
I'm ready to start a new month. The first two weeks of August it did nothing but rain. Then we had ten days of gorgeous summer days followed by warm summer nights - the best August has to offer. For the last week the warm, sunny days have continued, but they have been followed by cool nights - a sign that autumn is on its way. It has gotten so cool at night that I've started moving the hibiscus under the porch roof or into the house to protect the buds that have appeared in the last several days; I've been encouraging this plant all summer and may finally have something to show for my effort. If it's going to get that cool at night, it might as well be September.
Ken and I, our sons, and our oldest son's girlfriend spent the last August afternoon in Portland at a SeaDogs [the AA team for Boston] game. We had seats in the picnic area, compliments of our youngest son's current place of co-op employment. The tickets included lunch, which had all the ingredients of a good old-fashioned cook-out and the best ice cream sandwiches you have ever eaten - called SeaDog Biscuits, they are made with chocolate chip cookies and vanilla ice cream. Mmmmm good. The game was pretty good, too, with a come-back in the 8th inning to within one run, but we lost 5-4. The SeaDogs have made it into the play-offs, though, and we had a fun day at the ballpark, so it was a good time all around.
Last night Ken built a campfire in the fire circle we have in our front yard, a term I use loosely for the piece of uneven ground between the driveway and the tree line. We didn't want a full dinner, so hot dogs cooked on sticks over an open fire sounded like the perfect meal, and they were delicious. Fresh rolls and a choice of ketchup or mustard. Cold beer. Plenty of wood to throw on the fire. Then when the embers were glowing red hot, we had the ideal conditions to roast marshmallows for s'mores. Decadent overindulgence too good to pass up.
It was a family week-end that felt like more than a transition from one month to another, one season into another. It was time together that marked the transition from a family of parents and children to a family of adults ~ related friends who decided to spend time with each other for no other reason than they wanted to ~ people with interconnected lives who now stand alone more often than not and still choose to come together when given the chance. It was a week-end that helped me move a bit further along on my journey, as I looked back at how far I've come.
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