For the past four Mondays I have written a post about something bold and true in my life, something I might not ordinarily write about because it seemed too personal or like bragging or might appear controversial. It turns out that those posts were none of those things.
They were the bold truth about something in my life.
All day today I have considered what I could write about on this Monday, not because I couldn't come up with an idea but because I couldn't decide to focus on just one.
It was last Monday that I made the decision to post every day in February. I wasn't sure how that would work out.
It turns out that I have a lot to say and haven't once lacked for a topic.
So I'm not going to continue to designate one day a week to be bold and true, although I thank Anne at One Little Window for the idea in the first place. I am going to incorporate the bold and true things in my life into my regular posts, whenever the urge hits me.
Less and less I am walking on eggshells in my everyday life. I still get sweaty palms at the prospect of someone being less than thrilled with what I say or do, but I am going through with it anyway. So far it's all worked out okay.
I expect to make some mistakes and take some missteps, which I think is part and parcel of being bold and true. The thing I've realized is that being myself gets easier with practice, and the longer I do it the harder it is to not be who I really am.
And isn't that what this life is all about?
Monday, February 7, 2011
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Allow
I have read the poems of Danna Faulds in a variety of places and finally ordered a copy of Go In and In (2002, Morris Publishing). Each poem is a meditation.
Here is the pearl of wisdom that was my introduction to her work:
Allow
by Danna Faulds
There is no controlling life.
Try corralling a lightning bolt,
containing a tornado. Dam a
stream, and it will create a new
channel. Resist, and the tide
will sweep you off your feet.
Allow, and grace will carry
you to higher ground. The only
safety lies in letting it all in -
the wild with the weak; fear,
fantasies, failures and success.
When loss rips off the doors of
the heart, or sadness veils your
vision with despair, practice
becomes simply bearing the truth.
In the choice to let go of your
known way of being, the whole
world is revealed to your new eyes.
Here is the pearl of wisdom that was my introduction to her work:
Allow
by Danna Faulds
There is no controlling life.
Try corralling a lightning bolt,
containing a tornado. Dam a
stream, and it will create a new
channel. Resist, and the tide
will sweep you off your feet.
Allow, and grace will carry
you to higher ground. The only
safety lies in letting it all in -
the wild with the weak; fear,
fantasies, failures and success.
When loss rips off the doors of
the heart, or sadness veils your
vision with despair, practice
becomes simply bearing the truth.
In the choice to let go of your
known way of being, the whole
world is revealed to your new eyes.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Position: Filled
Well, that was quick.
The day after I sent in my application, and just ten days after the job listing was posted, I got an email that the position for which I applied was filled. It was still posted on the job board! I emailed back with a thank you.
This tells me that they already had someone in mind for the job, which often happens in organizations that have a policy that all jobs must be advertised before they can be filled. There is just no way that a job can be advertised, applications received and reviewed, interviews scheduled and held, and a job offered and accepted within a ten-day period...minus the week-end and three days worth of snow storms.
The good news is that the email came from the executive director. My cover letter and resume passed through her hands at least once.
So.
That's that. And that's okay because I'm back in the hunt.
The day after I sent in my application, and just ten days after the job listing was posted, I got an email that the position for which I applied was filled. It was still posted on the job board! I emailed back with a thank you.
This tells me that they already had someone in mind for the job, which often happens in organizations that have a policy that all jobs must be advertised before they can be filled. There is just no way that a job can be advertised, applications received and reviewed, interviews scheduled and held, and a job offered and accepted within a ten-day period...minus the week-end and three days worth of snow storms.
The good news is that the email came from the executive director. My cover letter and resume passed through her hands at least once.
So.
That's that. And that's okay because I'm back in the hunt.
Friday, February 4, 2011
A Guy I Know
Today I took my 2001 Outback in for an oil change. The problems we've had with the other car have made me vigilant when it comes to sounds, smells, and warning lights. I asked my mechanic to check for oil leaks and problems with the muffler.
My mechanic is the guy who manages the garage. He has a soft spot for Subaru vehicles and more than once has worked on my car on his own time. He doesn't do all the work on my car when I take it in, but he always takes a trip out to the garage to see if there's anything that needs special attention.
Today the shop was fairly quiet and we had a chance to chat. He recently shoveled out his '98 Legacy from a snow bank, jumped the battery, and got it back on the road for the first time since October. He talked about the snow that is accumulating on the roof of his "camp" and I asked him where his camp was located; it's four hours north of here, about an hour from the ocean. I said how nice that it was close to the ocean, and he replied that he lives right on the ocean. That led to a conversation about where he lives, the great seafood restaurant near his house, and how his road gets plowed out.
Every time I take my car into the shop, we find something new to talk about.
I watched him interact with other customers while I waited. He gives each person his full attention and makes them feel like their car will get the care it needs.
It turns out that my exhaust pipe was bent, and with a bit of heat it was bent back into shape. He said there were no obvious leaks, oil or otherwise, and that the engine was surprisingly tight for a car ten years old with 153,800 miles on it. I thanked him and left with a smile on my face.
People are so interesting. Everyone has a story and most people will share theirs if you give them a chance.
My mechanic is the guy who manages the garage. He has a soft spot for Subaru vehicles and more than once has worked on my car on his own time. He doesn't do all the work on my car when I take it in, but he always takes a trip out to the garage to see if there's anything that needs special attention.
Today the shop was fairly quiet and we had a chance to chat. He recently shoveled out his '98 Legacy from a snow bank, jumped the battery, and got it back on the road for the first time since October. He talked about the snow that is accumulating on the roof of his "camp" and I asked him where his camp was located; it's four hours north of here, about an hour from the ocean. I said how nice that it was close to the ocean, and he replied that he lives right on the ocean. That led to a conversation about where he lives, the great seafood restaurant near his house, and how his road gets plowed out.
Every time I take my car into the shop, we find something new to talk about.
I watched him interact with other customers while I waited. He gives each person his full attention and makes them feel like their car will get the care it needs.
It turns out that my exhaust pipe was bent, and with a bit of heat it was bent back into shape. He said there were no obvious leaks, oil or otherwise, and that the engine was surprisingly tight for a car ten years old with 153,800 miles on it. I thanked him and left with a smile on my face.
People are so interesting. Everyone has a story and most people will share theirs if you give them a chance.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Back In The Hunt
It was a year ago that I decided to take a break from job hunting. In the previous two years I had applied for two dozen jobs and, despite some positive feedback, I was not offered a position anywhere. It was hard to be rejected over and over again.
So I took myself off the market. Except for an opening a friend let me know about, I did not apply for a job last year. And, no, I was not invited to interview for that position.
This week I decided to get back in the hunt.
There is a statewide job board for non-profits that I check periodically. Many of the openings are for people who know how to raise money. That's not my area.
This week I spotted a listing for a program director for a hunger prevention program in a town just fifteen miles from me. It's part-time. The best part is that all the job responsibilities are things that I know how to do, and most are tasks that I've actually done in the past.
This evening I emailed a cover letter and my resume to the person indicated in the listing. I'd like to say that I think I have a chance, but I have learned that I have no way of knowing what will happen.
What I say in my cover letter matters. The form and content of my resume matters. However, what matters most is how my letter and resume appeal to the person in charge of the job search. I got my very first interview for a teaching position because the principal's wife graduated from the same college I did. You never know what will strike someone about what you write or how you write it that makes them want to meet you in an interview.
Then if I get an interview, there is no way to know what will work for me or against me. How should I dress? Is my age a factor? Will I have enough experience? Or too much? Will my education be an asset or a disadvantage? Other than what I wear, I have little influence over the first impression I will make.
The interview itself is not straightforward, either. Yes, there are standard questions and answers where information is requested and given. But there is another layer of interaction during an interview that can be as important: how will I fit with the other employees and stakeholders of the organization? Do I match their version of who they hope to hire?
I have been hired for teaching positions because the principal liked me, we literally talked during the interview like we already worked together. That has happened more than once, and while it didn't guarantee that the job would be any easier, it was nice to get along with my boss.
So it's hard to know how my application will strike someone and what to expect if I am asked to interview. I know this intellectually.
It's still hard to put myself back out there and possibly face rejection. It's particularly hard when I apply for a position that fits what I see myself doing.
I still see myself working somewhere. I dream about it. I daydream about it. I want to work with people who care about the same things I do. I still want this after three and a half years of not being able to find it.
So I need to try again. It's time to get back in the hunt.
So I took myself off the market. Except for an opening a friend let me know about, I did not apply for a job last year. And, no, I was not invited to interview for that position.
This week I decided to get back in the hunt.
There is a statewide job board for non-profits that I check periodically. Many of the openings are for people who know how to raise money. That's not my area.
This week I spotted a listing for a program director for a hunger prevention program in a town just fifteen miles from me. It's part-time. The best part is that all the job responsibilities are things that I know how to do, and most are tasks that I've actually done in the past.
This evening I emailed a cover letter and my resume to the person indicated in the listing. I'd like to say that I think I have a chance, but I have learned that I have no way of knowing what will happen.
What I say in my cover letter matters. The form and content of my resume matters. However, what matters most is how my letter and resume appeal to the person in charge of the job search. I got my very first interview for a teaching position because the principal's wife graduated from the same college I did. You never know what will strike someone about what you write or how you write it that makes them want to meet you in an interview.
Then if I get an interview, there is no way to know what will work for me or against me. How should I dress? Is my age a factor? Will I have enough experience? Or too much? Will my education be an asset or a disadvantage? Other than what I wear, I have little influence over the first impression I will make.
The interview itself is not straightforward, either. Yes, there are standard questions and answers where information is requested and given. But there is another layer of interaction during an interview that can be as important: how will I fit with the other employees and stakeholders of the organization? Do I match their version of who they hope to hire?
I have been hired for teaching positions because the principal liked me, we literally talked during the interview like we already worked together. That has happened more than once, and while it didn't guarantee that the job would be any easier, it was nice to get along with my boss.
So it's hard to know how my application will strike someone and what to expect if I am asked to interview. I know this intellectually.
It's still hard to put myself back out there and possibly face rejection. It's particularly hard when I apply for a position that fits what I see myself doing.
I still see myself working somewhere. I dream about it. I daydream about it. I want to work with people who care about the same things I do. I still want this after three and a half years of not being able to find it.
So I need to try again. It's time to get back in the hunt.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Flight School
I started Flight School three and a half weeks ago. This is graduate school for Buddha Chick Basic Training graduates.
I haven't mentioned that Flight School started. I went back through end-of-the-year posts and found that I was still on the fence in the last post where I mentioned Buddha Chick classes. [In the process I started a category for Buddha Chick posts.]
It's not a secret that I'm in Flight School. I just haven't been sure where I was or where I am headed in terms of being a Buddha Chick (BC). I am such a feet-on-the-ground type of girl that it's hard for me to pin down my place on the BC continuum.
For the Basic Training class I did the assignments, participated in the conference calls, and felt like I learned the material. It was like what happens when I read some books for the first time: when it's a new concept for me I can read the words but I may not understand all the levels of meaning. I will plow through to get to the end so that I can start again because once I have been exposed to the ideas I can build on that the next time through.
I think I've been this way as long as I have been an adult learner. When I went back to college in 1989 for a degree in teaching, I hadn't taken a class in ten years. I had three children. I had not spoken in complete sentences or finished a thought in a decade. The first semester I took two classes, English Composition [I was exempted from the class right out of high school but now needed the three credits] and Geography. I enjoyed both classes ~ taking notes, participating in class discussions, studying for exams. The creative writing was a natural fit for me. Writing my first research paper about a place in the world? Not so much. I had trouble with every aspect: deciding on a topic, making sense of the books I found, and writing the paper. I literally plowed through and just got it done. I got a B on the paper and was grateful because I didn't have a clue. But I did it. The next time was easier and the rest of my grades were higher.
This is my process when I tackle a topic that's new to me. I go through the motions until something clicks. There is no certain time frame, so I don't panic if it doesn't happen for awhile. I put one foot in front of the other, have patience, and stick with it. Eventually...
Things start to make sense.
Something clicked this week in Flight School. I am still connecting the dots but there is definitely a picture starting to take shape.
The journey continues....
I haven't mentioned that Flight School started. I went back through end-of-the-year posts and found that I was still on the fence in the last post where I mentioned Buddha Chick classes. [In the process I started a category for Buddha Chick posts.]
It's not a secret that I'm in Flight School. I just haven't been sure where I was or where I am headed in terms of being a Buddha Chick (BC). I am such a feet-on-the-ground type of girl that it's hard for me to pin down my place on the BC continuum.
For the Basic Training class I did the assignments, participated in the conference calls, and felt like I learned the material. It was like what happens when I read some books for the first time: when it's a new concept for me I can read the words but I may not understand all the levels of meaning. I will plow through to get to the end so that I can start again because once I have been exposed to the ideas I can build on that the next time through.
I think I've been this way as long as I have been an adult learner. When I went back to college in 1989 for a degree in teaching, I hadn't taken a class in ten years. I had three children. I had not spoken in complete sentences or finished a thought in a decade. The first semester I took two classes, English Composition [I was exempted from the class right out of high school but now needed the three credits] and Geography. I enjoyed both classes ~ taking notes, participating in class discussions, studying for exams. The creative writing was a natural fit for me. Writing my first research paper about a place in the world? Not so much. I had trouble with every aspect: deciding on a topic, making sense of the books I found, and writing the paper. I literally plowed through and just got it done. I got a B on the paper and was grateful because I didn't have a clue. But I did it. The next time was easier and the rest of my grades were higher.
This is my process when I tackle a topic that's new to me. I go through the motions until something clicks. There is no certain time frame, so I don't panic if it doesn't happen for awhile. I put one foot in front of the other, have patience, and stick with it. Eventually...
Things start to make sense.
Something clicked this week in Flight School. I am still connecting the dots but there is definitely a picture starting to take shape.
The journey continues....
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Leo's Latest Lair
This morning I had errands to run before the next round of storms arrives. Leo had eaten and curled up in his latest box, a remnant of Christmas that we have padded with a small afghan. He was sound asleep when I left so I let him be. He was in the exact same spot when I got home. It seems his restlessness has eased ~
Two hours later he roused, wandered the house a bit, and then made his way back to his box ~
Two hours later he roused, wandered the house a bit, and then made his way back to his box ~
He is eating well and going about his normal daily business with little more than an occasional hairball. We marvel at how his moods change. We'd love to know what he's thinking, although we're pretty sure he hates all this snow that is keeping him in the house. It looks like we will have snow all day tomorrow.
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