Appearances

I am letting my hair grow. It is over my ears and down on my neck for the first time in many years. I figure I will let it grow until I can't stand it. Then I will get it trimmed up so I can tolerate the next growth spurt.

I have decided I want to get my hair colored, soon. The question is what color? A friend last night joked "red," but the thought has crossed my mind. As a young woman, my dark hair had auburn highlights. My eyebrows are still very dark, and I need to consider that as I think about hair color.

This whole process has renewed for me the question of how much appearances matter. I have had conversations with other women whose graying hair has them questioning their appearance. We are worried that some people will not see beyond our gray hair to find out that we are smart, capable women.

At the bridal brunch in Boston on Sunday I was glad to see other women with gray hair. In a room full of women of all ages, I was not the only woman with gray hair, which surprised me. It's not unusual for me to be the only gray-haired head in a group, and until now that was always okay with me.

When my son became engaged I thought I'd color my hair for the wedding. Once the idea was planted, I wondered why I should wait. Maybe coloring my hair would improve my chances in the search for a job. Surprisingly, other women, employed or looking for a job, have echoed the same thought: professional women color their gray.

Three weeks ago I explained to my friend's hair stylist that I was planning to color my hair for my son's wedding. She said, "Well, most women color it all along but you can decide to color it now." Good to know there is not a statute of limitations.

The other comment I hear is that once I color it I have to keep up with it. I have had short hair for fifteen years, so I know all about the issue of maintenance. The recent weeks have been the longest I've gone without a haircut in all those years. Longer hair will ease up on the need for monthly cuts, which will be replaced with monthly visits for coloring.

Last night a commercial for hair color came on while my husband and I were watching television. He asked me if that was a brand I might try. I asked him if he really thought that those models colored their own hair. He said sure they did! Chuckle chuckle. I'm not even sure that the color on the models came out of a box.

I have a feeling this adventure is just beginning.