I often joke that I would like to have a neon sign for my front yard. I want to plug it in and wait for it to light up with the answers to my most pressing questions.
So far I've only been able to find neon signs that flash "open" or "closed," which would seriously limit their question-answering capabilities.
Absent answers in neon, I have been left to find my own way through this mid-life transition. I have learned to pay better attention to my gut reactions and listen more closely to my intuition. My emotions have been up, down, and all around. My mind has tried to think its way out of the quagmire, without success. My body has run a gamut of changes and been all but turned inside out. It has been a long haul.
In order to move forward, I have had to make some changes.
The way my life is now I spend long periods of time alone. I have learned to "lean into" that time and accept it, to see it as a positive instead of a negative. It's not that I don't have things to do ~ I always have something to do. It's that I have wanted the time alone to be something other than what it is. I have decided to make peace with the fact that there will be periods of time when I will be on my own.
I now live in a town of entrepreneurs, artists, gardeners, crafts people, and small-business owners. I have made a few friends, and some groups have welcomed me with open arms. I have decided to attend meetings where I am invited and get to know the people who want to know me.
I want a new career and have done everything I can think of to make that happen. Now I need to have patience and see what happens next. I can't force things to work out. I can remain steady and continue to do what I can do.
One evening this week I had dinner, went to a meeting, and came home to finish up projects I'd started. The house was quiet. Leo was padding around after me, waiting for me to sit down to make a lap for him to curl up in. I had the thought, "This is my new normal."
The thought was more of a "whiteboard" message than a neon sign. That's alright. I'll take it.
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a woman in transition shares her thoughts about life
About Me
- Sharon
- Maine
- I am a woman in the midst of change. I am learning to focus on the present and embrace the life I have now, which is different from anything I have ever known and not at all what I expected. ©2008-2023. All rights reserved.
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7 comments:
I like the idea of a whiteboard message better than a neon sign because you can make changes, erase, add, use different color markers, shade in different meanings, family and friends can stop by and leave little messages. I like the flexibility of a whiteboard life because of the freedom it offers you in exploring new things along the way.
I remember a period when I was jobless and how hard it was for me to feel comfortable with the big wide day stretching out in front of me! You do an admirable job of it! Sounds like a fun community!
"To be at peace in any endeavour,
we must release our need
to control the outcome."
~ Diane Dreher
(from 'The Tao of Inner Peace')
May you find brightly colored, empowering messages on your whiteboard! Continue to live each day well. A day well lived gives hope for tomorrow.
I have decided to attend meetings where I am invited and get to know the people who want to know me.
This sounds a lot like my own "new normal". What a relief, really. As someone once said, "Don't push the river." There's no need to, and it just wears you out. Plus, the journey down that river ought to be fun.
Transition time is tough. Everyone talks about all the things we can do when our kids leave home, etc ... but the truth is, it is hard to establish a new rhythm and a new stage of life, at first. I like your idea of naming in "the new normal."
Wonderful, thoughtful, post Sharon. "the new normal"--I like it! And I love what Joanne said here about the whiteboard and being able to erase it. Life, for many of us these days, seems to be about living fully in the present moment, without too many expectations, leaning into the sharp points (as my B. teacher says), wading into emotional quagmires, and out again, and being okay with it all. Normal....ahhhh. :-)
Sharon, I think you have a wise outlook, reflecting the spiritual advice about learning to accept whatever situation we're in.
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