I first titled this post "Finding A Sense Of Purpose." I changed it because I am still looking.
Is it possible to find a sense of purpose? I ask because until now my purpose has been in response to the people in my life: the family I was born into, the person I fell in love with, and the children born to me.
I did not question my purpose. I always felt like I was doing what I was meant to do.
My life made sense. There were people to love and take care of. There were things to do. It felt like my life had a direction.
The last three years have been an intermission of sorts.
It was three years ago this weekend that we signed the papers on this house. At that time I had a vision of what my life would look like. Yes, things would be different in a new house, with all the children grown and on their own. I had a plan.
Over time that plan has unraveled.
I tried to hold it together. I held onto my idea of what was supposed to happen, of what I was supposed to be doing, of what I thought my purpose should be.
The universe obviously has a different plan. Nothing has gone as I thought it would.
My thanks to those who read here and leave thoughtful comments. I take your words to heart and am grateful for your support.
I do not feel so frumpy today. It's a new day and with it comes new possibilities.
Break's over. What's next?*
It's time for me to move on.
*I admit I have been watching West Wing on DVD. In this situation, President Jed Bartlet's words are the perfect fit.
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7 comments:
Sharon,
I LOVE your grappling and LOVE the tenderness and yearning in your voice.
My prayer is that God will hold you so palpably in His arms that you will feel His presence and KNOW that you are safe.
Sigh. I have kinda thrown away the book and just live EVERY DAY with as much Godliness as I can, taking what He brings for that day.
You are loved, dear one.
Patti
I cannot wait to see what is next for you. The waiting is the hardest part...
I'm very interested in seeing where you'll move on to! Lots of anticipation in that statement, and a sense of a new beginning :)
Maybe there isn't just one purpose, but many purposes: caring for others, for the house, for self, and learning, always learning. Just by asking, you will find purpose.
May the next adventure be fun and worthwhile!
Even when it does not seem like much is progressing, the undercurrents are always moving you forward into a new place and time with opportunities everywhere. Although cliche, I think breathing deeply and believing are the first steps to opening the door from just a crack to wide open. And ready for what life brings your way.
You are in my thoughts.
You don't have to go anywhere for me to like you Sharon. I'm impressed just the way you are. But I support whatever the future brings for you.
Some folks have a public purpose that looks glamorous, exciting, and fulfilling. Many have a quieter, in-the-background purpose. We all have purpose and it is variable from day to day. We never know when we wake up how our life will be different, who we will affect, and to whom our purpose and our being will have significant meaning. Sometimes we don't even realize our influence and effect on others, but it's there. Quietly in the background.
A part of your purpose is right here--your blog. I enjoy reading your posts and the comments they elicit. You are insightful, willing to share, and articulate. You make us think, laugh, cry, wonder. Thank you for continuing this part of your "purpose." I'll look forward with you as you seek for what's next.
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