Timekeeping

I once believed that the more I have to do, the more I get done.

That was true when I had a tight schedule and needed to work what I wanted to do into a life filled with other people and obligations. I found time to spend with family and friends, time to take care of a house, time to work outside the home, and time to go back to school.

Now I have too much unstructured time and too many choices.

Over the past three years I have found ways to fill my days. There is always something to do.

There are chores and errands and projects, sleeping and eating and exercising, writing and reading and sewing, bookkeeping, movie viewing, and spending time with other people.

I was able to fit things in where there was time. If something came up that wasn't on the calendar, I moved my time around and made room. I stayed up late when I wanted and got up early when necessary.

I haven't had a set routine and my schedule has been flexible.

Now I want to add structure to my days.

I am having a hard time.

It sounds ridiculous, but I have too many choices about how to plan my days. There is no framework to start with. It's up to me to decide when to schedule what and how to set priorities. I want to keep doing everything I have been doing, and I want to start doing things I've never done before.

I am buried in paperwork. It seems like the more I try to streamline record keeping, the more there is to keep track of. I have invested in "Quicken for Home and Business" but have yet to find time to install it, and then I need to figure out how to use it. I need to get my business files organized, which will be easier once I get Quicken up and running.

I am tired of cleaning and cooking, but I like a clean house and balanced meals.

Keeping a house for two people isn't much different than keeping house for five people. The same things need to be done regardless of how many people are around, but there are fewer people to help with what needs to be done.

The other side of that coin is that now there are three family members living elsewhere, people I like a lot and want to spend time with when they are available. I have always made time for my kids. Now the need is for chunks of time instead of time distributed over weeks and months. Since time together is harder to come by, it matters that I am able to change plans and be available.

The irony is that since I don't have a job outside the home, until now I have moved around what I have to/want to get done to meet the time constraints of everyone else.

Now I need to consider what it means to be self-employed.

I am frustrated. I don't know what to do first. I am not even sure what I want.

Sigh.