Anticipation

In two days my youngest child will graduate from college. I have been anticipating this day for twenty-three years.

There have been times in my life when I have enjoyed the anticipation before an event more than I have enjoyed the event itself. I have no reason to expect this to be one of those times, but that gives you an idea of how much I like the feeling of anticipation. I like it a lot.

The most wonderful thing about T's graduation is that it holds as much excitement as the graduations of my other two children. Each one chose their own path, and each one excelled at what they chose to do. Ken and I were the support system while they found their way, made decisions, learned from mistakes, and celebrated successes.

By the time my children left for college they were independent adults. They had the skills they needed to live in the world and the ability to take care of themselves. When they stopped holding on, I had to let go.

So this week has not been hard because I had to let go. There has been an element of sadness because it's the end of another era for our family. I have been trying to think of what I can compare it to...and today it occurred to me that the feeling is similar to what I felt when I knew I wouldn't have any more babies. At the time we had three healthy children, and the youngest was starting school; I was starting my first full-time teaching job; and it was time for our family to move into the next stage. I knew it was the right time ~ for me, for my family. There was still a twinge of sadness because I felt immeasurable joy with the birth of each of my children.

Just as I have felt joy at each of their graduations. I have always cheered the loudest and clapped the longest, and I know that will be true at the Boston Garden on Friday.

That doesn't mean that I don't feel a twinge of sadness that this is the college graduation of my youngest child, that this era in our family is over. The smiles will overshadow the tears, and memories will be stored for future reference.

The journey continues....