Have you ever been in the middle of a project when you were ready to give up? You'd tried everything you could think of, nothing was working, and you wanted to give up. But you couldn't. You were smack dab in the middle ~ you couldn't go back because too many things had changed, and you couldn't go forward because you couldn't see the path ahead.
Then something happens, an event or a conversation.
Or nothing happens, or nothing visible to the eye happens. Maybe enough time passes that things work out, or the perspective about the process changes, or the desired outcome is no longer the same. It's possible to not be aware that things have changed until they have.
This train of thought just put me in mind of a quote from the movie Life As a House. The main character, George, shares an insight: "Change can be so constant that you don't even feel a difference until there is one. It can be so slow that you don't know that your life is better or worse until it is...or it can just blow you away and make you something different in an instant."
I'm still making sense of all the pieces.
Two things happened this week that started me thinking about all of this....
The first thing ~ I have small pads of paper all over the house. This week I changed over my sewing table from the small cabinet I've used for many years to a modern computer desk that gives me more room to work. In moving things around I discovered various notes I've taken while sewing. One caught my attention. On August 15 I wrote: The person I am now is not content with the life I have, yet that life until this moment has made me the person I have become. I didn't know how to reconcile those two things.
I didn't know what to do at the time. Things felt out of my control so I stopped thinking I had control over anything. I couldn't give up because it was my life that I was in the middle of. I did give in, slow down, and focus on each day.
It has been two months since I wrote those words.
Then this week the second thing happened. I was talking to a friend about what I've been up to lately. All of a sudden she said, "Sharon, you're making a life." Her comment took us both by surprise, but she's right.
Slowly, without realizing it, I am making a life that suits the person I am now.
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7 comments:
Yes. Yes. Yes. I've thought some of this lately with my writing. I've been working towards the publication goal, which hasn't happened. And during all that time, yes, my perspective has substantially changed regarding the whole process. So much so that I had to make the decision to create the writing life that does suit me. I'll be talking about it more in the near future on my blog. But I wanted you to know that yes, I've been there recently too.
Yay! *big smiley smile*
Love this- getting it big time!
I have to say that this post is wrapped in the threads of perfection. You are the movement and you are the waiting. Sending love- xo teri
Simple, yet poignant, statement. And oh so true.
Sometimes we just need to let life lead us. Sounds as if you're discovering more about yourself each day.
Sometimes it feels as if we are off track and should be doing somehting more to get back on track. With time and faith, we discover we were never lost. We just forgot our true home.
I admire your writing reflections and process.
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