It Pours.
Wednesday evening Ken got home from working three days out of town. He was sick, as in headache-chills-fever-body aches-no appetite-sick, and he had been feeling this way for three days.
We had plans to meet P, our oldest son, in Massachusetts for the holiday week-end. I needed to let him know we wouldn't be down on Friday, but I would make the trip on Saturday even if Ken didn't. Before I could call him, the phone rang.
It was P. He was coming home for the week-end.
Earlier Wednesday evening he had received a job offer. From a company in California.
He had hoped to get a job by mid-September, when his fiance starts grad school in California, which is the reason for his move.
He needs to start the job in two weeks.
P is at the age when his adult life starts, when things get good.
He will be living three thousand miles across the country, and my heart is broken.
P will move in with his fiance's parents, temporarily, because they live close to where he will be working and where she will go to school.
Some people get what they want.
And some people don't.
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a woman in transition shares her thoughts about life
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- Sharon
- Maine
- I am a woman in the midst of change. I am learning to focus on the present and embrace the life I have now, which is different from anything I have ever known and not at all what I expected. ©2008-2023. All rights reserved.
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7 comments:
Hugs. Parenting is so hard sometimes! Enjoy your visit with him this weekend.
Sharon,
I am happy for your son's move forward in life but certainly understand your sadness at not having him closer. I get that, truly. My oldest daughter was in CA for 5 years and it was tough, though we actually became closer and more communicative in a heart sort of way over the phone. Now she has moved back to MI. She couldn't bear to be away from her family any longer.
You know never what the Universe is going to dish out. It truly is up to us to "Be well with what is," and stay attuned to happiness, peace of mind, and joy as best we can. Even when we don't like what we've been given one bit!!! I agree with starrrlife--savor the moments!
This is SO DANG HARD, Sharon. I so understand your feelings here.
My son (and I can lament about it here because he or his fiance won't be reading it)isn't moving across country when he gets married but he might as well be; 60 miles down the road and expecting himself to commute to his well paying job in Seattle (I think he'll burn out in a matter of months) is, in my opinion, really short sighted. I sense that not so many good things are going to come from this decision. Things like losing a really good job in hard financial times...
But, I have to let him make his decisions and if they are off track, suffer the consequences. No sense in trying to change his mind because it's already made up.
I'm a mess over all this as I sense you are too. It might help to know someone else out there is upset about the plans of their grown children. Sigh.
It's tough when we're the ones not getting what we want, and there aren't many words to make it better. I agree with the others, embrace what you can of the situation, the time spent with him. At least with technology, email, cellphones, digital cameras, i-m's, the world is a little smaller and you have an easy access to eachother in that way.
I can relate, too, as an empty nester whose son moved to Chicago for his job (from our home in Detroit) just two months after graduating college last year. I console myself with the reminder that Chicago isn't terribly far from Detroit -- and we do have a second home on the west side of Michigan. But my son also travels 4 days a week for his work -- and I worry about that too. (Do moms ever stop worrying??) Truthfully, the first few months were an adjustment for me this year -- but things do get better! I remind myself that it's good my son has a good job and can support himself at 23. So many young people I know cannot find work.
My son tells me that he would like to return to Detroit to raise his family, depending, of course, on the job market. Letting go isn't easy, but it's part of life. It's good to acknowledge the hurt and try to keep open to new adventures in your own life ...
I hear your sadness and pain in losing P to distance and time. Thank you for opening to this, as painful as it is.
Sharon, I'm glad your son was able to find a job. In this economy that is saying something. But, it doesn't change the fact that it's happening so soon and, dang, you'll miss him.
Thankfully, there are ways to stay in touch...don't know if you use Facebook, but it seems to me it would be perfect for feeling more connected. Just a suggestion.
Me sowwy you sad :(
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