My Daughter The Doctor

My daughter has been independent since the day she was born. I have never known her to be any other way. It hasn't made her life easier, and in many ways it has made her journey more difficult. K stands up for herself and speaks her mind, which isn't always well received by other people.

I vividly remember the first time it became clear to me that not everyone would celebrate my daughter's independent thinking. I was attending her eighth-grade parent/teacher conference. I remember what I was wearing, as well as the tenor of the 45-minute meeting. K's advisor, who was also the French teacher, had a lot to say, not all of it complimentary.

Now my daughter was doing the work in all of her classes, getting good grades, and acting respectfully. What she was not doing was towing the line. K did not automatically take the word of people in authority, which included teachers, and she challenged what she did not agree with. The message to me, as the mother of this strong-willed teenager, was to explain to K why she needed to go along and get along. I tried to explain to Madame how this was not part of my daughter's personality. We went back and forth for the better part of a half hour.

I was tired. I was getting a head ache. I finally looked at the woman sitting across from me and said, "Do you think K is any easier to live with at home? If she behaves the way you are describing at school, how do you think she behaves at home? She is not an easy person to live with. I know that she will face many challenges when she is on her own in the world, and she needs to learn now how to stand up for herself now." Madame had no comeback for that, and we left it that I would talk to K about her advisor's concerns.

In high school K left a history class because the male teacher was making sexist remarks. She sat outside in the hallway so she would not miss the lesson, but she said she could not remain in the classroom for another minute.

In college K stood up to a biochemistry professor who didn't like the way K arrived at her answers, which had merit but were found another way.

In medical school K learned to knit so she could focus on the lectures. She had survived a roll-over car crash the spring before she graduated from college and suffered a head injury as a result of the accident. K taught herself to knit because she learned if her hands were busy she was better able to learn new information.

All of this, and the biggest challenge was still ahead. K writes honestly about her last year of residency on her own blog, so I will not repeat the story here. I will say that she has been asking for help with the overwhelming course load that is residency for the last nine months. It is a lot to handle for anyone, but for someone who learns and processes information differently it is challenging at every turn.

My daughter did not give up. She pursued solutions, followed up when others dropped the ball, challenged the status quo, and stood up to authority figures who did not care to be questioned.

Yesterday K learned that she has prevailed. I have not talked to her about the details, but her most recent post reveals that at yesterday's meeting with the director there were decisions made in K's favor. She will finish her third year of residency on time and she will graduate in June.

My daughter is an interesting, intelligent, engaging woman. She is also a talented, caring, knowledgeable doctor.

Her patients are lucky to have her.

I am lucky she is my daughter.