The other day a friend asked me how it was going. I responded that it's okay that things are not okay.
Many things are shifting, most of which involves other people so I can't say much here.
Once I let go of expectations for just about everything, life got easier.
I am not as distracted. I am refining my focus.
I picked up the November 2009 issue of "O" magazine because it holds a series of essays under the heading How to Become the Person You Were Meant To Be. The essay by Amy Bloom (p. 182-83) is titled "But What If I'm Scared of Change?" and especially spoke to me, but since I don't have permission to reprint the whole thing here, I will share some bits~
She writes, "That's what change is for a lot of us - stuff you have to pretend to embrace even as your heart sinks...."
She quotes Sylvia Boorstein: "Surrender means wisely accommodating ourselves to what is beyond our control."
She tells a story about calling to ask her sister if there's room for another guest at a family holiday dinner. Her sister goes through a range of reactions and ultimately says, sure, there is room.
Then Amy summarizes, "So, maybe, there's an alternative to beatific acceptance of change. Maybe a little grousing helps. Maybe some frank grumbling smooths the way for some genuine acceptance. Maybe the trick is to acknowledge that change is sometimes wonderful, sometimes not, often disturbing, and always happening. Then, make room at the table."
I have been working on making room at the table.
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7 comments:
good luck with that! seems like aging makes unwelcome change a regular at my dinner table. or maybe it's just life. either way, i do have to remind myself often to surrender to what is and while I'm at it count my blessings.
Whew! That's a tall order sometimes! But a perfect post about it!
Great post; change is always so hard for me, probably for most people. Yet it's the only thing that is a constant....change, change, change.
Your post has me thinking about this topic in a new way. Thanks.
Thanks for sharing. It sounds like my title would read, "Making Room for One More in the House." My family loves to entertain, while I prefer small groups and even solitude. I like the definition of change. It's not always something we like, but something we can learn to accept.
Love this post, Sharon. I've been facing up to some changes lately too, some of them scary, so your thoughts on this come at a good time. I loved those articles in O magazine too -- thanks for sharing your take on them. Happy Thanksgiving to you
You and me, both.
The dinner table allusion reminds me of that wonderful line from "Mame" ...
"Life is a banquet and most poor fools are starving to death."
Once we surrender to what is, as Cindy said, how often do we find out how nourishing it is? Oftentimes much more nurturing to us, at deeper levels, than what we're used to.
All the comments speak to my heart.
Aging brings changes. I am trying to balance the fact that I like solitude - but - need a balance of time with people. Children and grandchildren now visit of holidays. I cook and prepare and then a week of order being restored plus my energy being restored. My battle is balance.
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