Long Distance Is Not the Same

I talked on the phone yesterday with a friend who lives across the country. We told stories and laughed and wished we were sitting down over a cup of coffee. We have known each other for almost forty years and haven't lived in the same state for the last thirty. We stay in touch through phone calls and emails, and we do see each other every year or two...but long distance friendships are not the same as being friends in person.

There is something about being in the presence of a friend ~ there is shared energy. When I'm with a friend I read their facial expressions and body language. I know how they are feeling before they say a word. Not everything can be said with words.

Being in person also helps me place the conversation later. I forget what I've told people over the phone because I just remember me on my end, not where we were having coffee or what she was wearing or what the weather was like when I traveled to be with her. "To be with her" is the essence. Time spent together is what I miss.

When my children were little I had many friends "in person." We got together for lunch, had potluck suppers, joined story hour at the library, started a mothers' group at church, played in each other's yards, and often spent time together talking about how life was going. There was a quantity of time, and quality was found within that. Like with children, we can't always pick the moments that will matter. We need a quantity of time for ideas to come to the surface and feelings to find words. I miss that time together.

I have friends in every corner of the country and many places in between. Some I communicate with regularly. With some, long periods of time go by. We still love to hear from each other when the letter, phone call, or email does come. And a visit is something to be treasured and remembered for a long time.

I like to play the lottery, in part because I like to think about what I will do when I win. The first thing I'm going to do is travel the country to visit my friends.