Tuesday

Sometimes life feels wobbly. The last 24 hours have felt that way, like things are out of sync. It's one of those times when I wish I knew about astrology because I'm sure the planets are out of alignment. Or mercury is in retrograde. Or something has gotten out of place and jammed up the system. I think the recent cyclone, tornadoes, and earthquake are harsh manifestations of this cosmic unrest....

At times like these I'm grateful for the routine chores of running a household. There is always laundry to do - yesterday everyone got clean sheets. There is always a meal to cook - fresh salad and fajitas for dinner last night.

And by some stroke of luck I was able to go grocery shopping yesterday. That's usually the last thing I want to do when I feel out of sorts. However, with the youngest son home and packing lunches we needed sandwich fixin's. It was as good a time as any to practice breathing and staying present because I really needed sliced ham. And I used the time to recycle an accumulation of plastic bags - clearing out the clutter is something else that always needs doing.

So because I had to go out yesterday I had to figure out how to make it work. First, I had a very short list and if that's all I bought I would have accomplished my mission. Second, I made eye contact with people, smiled, and said hello. That's when I ran into the realtor who helped us buy this house, and we had a good chat. I felt better afterward. The connection with another person made the rest of my errand a lot more pleasant.

If I had stayed home I would have missed out on that interaction. I get into a rut. I stay home thinking I will stay out of trouble that way. Instead, I shut myself off and keep myself small. I am not doing myself any favors. Maybe I'm not helping anyone else either. There may be times when someone benefits from connecting with me.

My day yesterday ended late because I continued to feel unsettled. I read through a variety of mom's blogs and watched late-night tv. I climbed into the shower with only a night-light on and felt like I could have stayed there all night. It helped and I slept until early this morning.

It still feels like shift is afoot. There's more change comin'.