Milestone

My youngest child, T, is twenty-one years old today. I think this means more to me than it does to him. His life will go on pretty much as it has been, except that he can now get into Boston's 21-and-over clubs to see bands and comedians. Oh, and he can drink alcohol if he chooses to do so.

T has always been exposed to opportunities before his time. As an infant he attended school activities because his siblings were students. As a toddler he ran the halls of the school he would someday attend. He was always a step ahead because his sister and brother led the way, which seemed to suit T's easy-going personality. Then he found ways to make each experience his own, which is reflected in the poem I wrote for his senior yearbook: "You are the third of three and one of a kind; You do things your own way and in your own time." These words surrounded a photo of T as a toddler hanging on the railing for the kitchen steps.

What makes today meaningful for me is that I remember how my life changed when I was 21. I got a full-time job that summer and was married that fall. Those changes led to the move to Maine, where my life really started. My children are the essence of how my life changed.

T still has two and a half years of college. Within his program, though, each year he will work in his field July through December, and he may find a job before he graduates. Like his brother, T will probably not return to Maine to live after college because bigger cities offer more job opportunities for engineers. I have known this all along, which is why his last six months of working and living in Maine have meant so much to me. He would have preferred to be in Boston, while I have been grateful to have him home.

I have always held more tightly to T than he wanted. He was an adventuresome child, and he had siblings to keep up with. I was 31 when he was born, which seemed older then than it does now. After I heard the news of the death of a young mother, I remember tearfully praying that I live long enough for T to remember who I was. That prayer has been answered. I have watched my youngest son grow into an intelligent, responsible, personable adult.

This birthday milestone may be marked with more than shepherd's pie and coffee cake - his choices for dinner and dessert. It has started snowing. Schools are closing in anticipation of the sleet and freezing rain predicted for later today. We have a generator, knock wood, that we haven't had to use yet, so we will have limited power if we lose electricity. Nothing says "celebrate your 21st birthday" like an ice storm.