That phrase aptly describes where I am right now: in an intermediate position; neither altogether one nor altogether the other.
I didn't sleep well last night and got up this morning determined to find words to describe how I'm feeling. As I slowly started my day, the words "betwixt and between" came to mind. Oddly enough, it made me feel better to put words to it ~ I know that I don't know where I am in my life.
But I had a plan! Or I thought I had a plan. I went back to school for an MSW so I could work with individuals and small groups. Mid-stream I decided I wanted to work in the areas of policy and research with organizations and communities, still a good plan. The glitch has been getting a job with an organization or community, a job I need to do the work I want to do. My most recent job application would satisfy all the criteria for my dream job...and I'm still waiting to hear.
In the meantime I have been reading Woulda Coulda Shoulda , following different threads through her "hindsight" section. This week I focused on her Job?Huh? topic and was surprised to learn that after a tough year of unemployment she did get her dream job in February 2005. It lasted six months, at which point her boss told her it wasn't working out. It was then that she decided to write for a living and did all of the hard work needed to make that happen. She now has her personal blog, as well as a blog about shopping and one about working as a freelance writer. I have been captivated by her stories since I started reading her in May, but I didn't realize what she went through to get where she is today. She had a plan. That plan didn't work out so she made another one that did.
I don't know what I will do if my most recent plan doesn't work out. I can't think myself an answer. So I stay betwixt and between for the moment. And I still have painting to do, so my life has meaning.
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Interesting post, Sharon. This is a theme for many of us in midlife, it seems -- the "betwixt and between" stage. Not sure if this is of much help, but I find that the "fallow times" are actually when things are starting to take shape in my work life. While it feels frustrating when nothing appears to be happening, good ideas and plans are incubating. I took time off from writing for a while, not sure if I should continue or not, and when I returned to the keyboard, I understood my new direction and things fell into place more easily. I'm sure things will work out for you ...
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