Thursday, July 24, 2008

Making a Mess of Things

I just left a comment on a blog I visited for the first time and unintentionally published it three times. Aaarrrrgggghhhhh. That's never happened before. I feel frazzled and embarrassed. I need to take a step back.

It could be all the sugar I'm consuming: homemade bread pudding, Sam's Club coconut cake, homemade cookies, store-bought turnovers, strawberry licorice. Yesterday my daughter bought me a sugar cookie, and I gobbled it right up and followed with a chaser of McD's sweet tea. When in a funk, eat sugar? Rationally I know that's the worse thing for me. But it all tastes so good. The short-lived sugar high that follows is working for me, while nothing else is.

The cloudy days and periods of torrential rain are not helping. Outside painting has been delayed indefinitely.

My daughter gave me a book, Good Poems for Hard Times selected by Garrison Keillor. I first looked for a poem by Mary Oliver and found one of my favorites (p. 281-282), When Death Comes. It's the end that always gets me:

When it's over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.

When it's over, I don't want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don't want to find myself sighing and frightened,
or full of argument.

I don't want to end up simply having visited this world.

That's a long way from making a mess of things. Oh, I have so much work to do to get where I want to be. Where to begin? Well, for now I'm going to have some bread pudding, a small bowl.

2 comments:

wisewomencoffeechat.com said...

Sharon -

Thanks for visiting my site today - just so you know, my family has had a love affair with Maine for generations. My parents live in Brooklin, and we'll be traveling there in a few days.

I was reading this poem and it really struck a chord. if you get a moment, look up a blog entry I made on July 11 (wisewomencoffeechat.com/2008/07/a-tribute-to-ann-spencer-gates/) - it's a tribute to one of my cousins who just passed away. But within it is an inspiring poem she wanted read at her service called Reverse Living.

Thanks for sharing.

CaShThoMa said...

Thanks for this post and the reference to Mary Oliver's poem on When Death Comes. These are wise words. I'm pondering similar issues. It helps to know that others do the same.

Best to you.