Leo is feeling better. Thursday night and Friday morning I fixed him chicken and rice, which he lapped right up. By Friday night he was eating his "wet" food, after he'd had his pill, with no trouble. This morning he ate his breakfast without benefit of medication, and he's doing fine.
I, on the other hand, have been eating only carbohydrates since yesterday. After a rocky start Sunday morning, I was able to drink black coffee and tea. Toast, baked potato, Cheerios, and crackers are keeping me afloat.
Life continues to feel unsettled.
Two weeks ago I applied for a job. Last week my resume was returned to me because it arrived two days after the deadline and could not be considered. The ad I answered said the search had been extended but apparently not long enough for my application to arrive in time.
Again and again I fall just short of the mark.
It is time to change gears.
On Friday I followed through on a promise I made to myself. It was the last day to submit an application for entrepreneurship training offered through the same organization where I sought career counseling and attended introductory business workshops. I promised myself I would apply if I did not have a job, or a serious lead on one, by September 18.
The training is an intensive course in how to start a business and includes 60 hours of classroom instruction in addition to assignments outside of class. Each student will write a complete business plan over the course of the 12 weeks with help from trainers, small business owners, local professionals and advisors.
It is time for me to stop dancing around the idea of having a business, to set aside the fear of being self-employed, to find out once and for all what is required to be a successful businesswoman, and to get to work to make it happen.
The problem isn't that I think I can't do it.
I know I can do it. That is what scares me. I start a business, and then what? I can't get a clear vision of what life as a business owner would look like, of what happens next, of how I will grow a business that will be profitable enough to provide the income I desire.
I have decided to start by taking the process one step at a time.
Tomorrow morning is an orientation session for all applicants. At that time interviews will be scheduled for admission to the class, which starts September 29. Fifteen people will be selected.
I did not want to apply unless I was ready to give everything I've got to the training and the process of becoming self-employed.
Last spring I met with a career counselor who told me I could have a job and start a business. I thought I needed to find a job first and then fit a business into what time I had left. Now I'm ready to try it the other way 'round.
I have been reading the blogs of women who are charting a new course, starting a new career, and realizing a dream. I find myself wishing I could do the same thing.
Maybe I can.
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6 comments:
I feel much as you do. I am almost 53 years old and not currently employed. I do not know which direction to turn as I feel I have limited marketable skills. I went back to school and got a bachelor's degree in 2006 but have found this to be no use without a masters in the field of psychology (my major). I would also like to be self-employed; but I am not sure if I have the drive.
Thanks for sharing your life.
Congrats to Leo for feeling better, and congrats to you for your "giant leap".
How many times in life have I metaphorically shot myself in the foot because I didn't want to take action until I knew how it was going to turn out? That seems to be a common human foible. Of course, the only way to truly know what something feels like or how it's going to turn out is to do it.
P.S. One of the benefits of working for yourself is that you get to decide what success means, rather than having to meet someone else's criteria. You're in control of your business and your life, in a way that employees cannot be. Of course, you bear risks and responsibilities that employees don't, but for me the trade-off is worth it.
You. Can. Do. It.
Can't wait to hear what happens next!
"Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."
~ Christopher Robin to Pooh
I've known you long enough to know that you can do whatever you put your mind and energy into. You can change course along the way, but first you have to make a start. Step out with confidence and go for it!
Sharon, first, I'm glad that Leo is doing better.
Also, I wanted to offer you some support for trying something new --for what it's worth. I'm in training for a paralegal certificate through a local community college with an ABA-approved program. I'm plodding along at the rate of one class per term because I still have teenagers at home. If I can do it, you can do it. I'm enjoying the challenge.
Do you mind if I also share with you that I just finished a book manuscript I'd been working on literally for years. It grew slowly by accretion, and I finally feel ready to move on it. I want to self-publish. Anyway, here's an excerpt I hope might help you:
"We don't need to know our entire plan of action before we act. We just need to focus on taking any reasonable step.
"Once we get to that spot, we can see the next reasonable step to take."
No maybes about it, you can do it. It isn't always a comfortable process, this reinvention, moving in a different direction, but I think it keeps us limber in mind and spirit. All too easy to settle into 'comfortable' and get less adaptable as time goes by.
Big time kudos to you for making a leap here. You will learn learn learn...about business, and about yourself. The only failure is the failure to learn...can't wait to hear all about it as time goes by!
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