Fall Blooms

My daughter brought a beautiful bouquet with her on Thursday. Several of the stems have buds that are still blooming ~

On my list of things to do before the holidays was "cut back the out-of-control hibiscus plant" that hasn't bloomed yet this year. Last year it bloomed in September. Then I noticed a half dozen buds on this crazy plant. In November.

Ken said maybe it will bloom for Christmas.

Does anyone know how to set the timing on a hibiscus plant?

Thanksgiving Eve

I enjoy the anticipation of the holiday almost as much as I enjoy the holiday.

Yesterday I went grocery shopping and now have all the ingredients for everyone's favorites.

The house has been tidied and feels ready.

My youngest son will be home this evening. My daughter, who is not on call this year, will be here tomorrow. We have no grand plans, other than time together, which is my greatest joy.

I went last evening to a new hair stylist, who razor cut my hair very short. I love it. I have been growing out the color since July and needed it to be gone.

It's a fresh look, which I wanted because this afternoon I have an interview. I am going with the hope that it's a good fit and the knowledge that I will survive if it isn't.

This year I am grateful for all I have learned about myself.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

My Purring Pal

We have now belonged to Leo for over a year. I have been following him around with the camera because I wanted to take some current photos. He's a hard one to "capture" because he gets up when he sees me and proceeds to follow me around.

I did catch him standing in a sun spot ~

and waiting at the door, hoping that I would let him out ~

and getting very close to see what I was up to ~

Leo has charmed us beyond all measure. There are times when I pick him up and hold him tight just because he has been a loyal companion. There are times when Ken sits down to make a lap just because he knows Leo will jump up to "set a spell" and purr.

There's an old saying that you can't choose your family. We didn't choose Leo, but thank goodness he chose us.

Making Room At The Table

The other day a friend asked me how it was going. I responded that it's okay that things are not okay.

Many things are shifting, most of which involves other people so I can't say much here.

Once I let go of expectations for just about everything, life got easier.

I am not as distracted. I am refining my focus.

I picked up the November 2009 issue of "O" magazine because it holds a series of essays under the heading How to Become the Person You Were Meant To Be. The essay by Amy Bloom (p. 182-83) is titled "But What If I'm Scared of Change?" and especially spoke to me, but since I don't have permission to reprint the whole thing here, I will share some bits~

She writes, "That's what change is for a lot of us - stuff you have to pretend to embrace even as your heart sinks...."

She quotes Sylvia Boorstein: "Surrender means wisely accommodating ourselves to what is beyond our control."

She tells a story about calling to ask her sister if there's room for another guest at a family holiday dinner. Her sister goes through a range of reactions and ultimately says, sure, there is room.

Then Amy summarizes, "So, maybe, there's an alternative to beatific acceptance of change. Maybe a little grousing helps. Maybe some frank grumbling smooths the way for some genuine acceptance. Maybe the trick is to acknowledge that change is sometimes wonderful, sometimes not, often disturbing, and always happening. Then, make room at the table."

I have been working on making room at the table.

Online Is Overrated

Last month I wrote a post about how I was setting up accounts to pay as many bills as possible online. In some cases it took hours to make the connection between my checking account and the bill I wanted to pay. As of today I have ten accounts payable online.

The intent behind this transition to online bill-paying was to streamline the system so someone else [aka Ken] could step in to pay bills more easily if I was indisposed for some reason.

Honestly, I was feeling pretty savvy for saving 44 cents for every stamp I wasn't using each month.

This month, for the most part, things have gone smoothly.

Then, yesterday I made the house payment, within the grace period when there is no late fee.

Yes, there was no late fee. But there was a service fee because I chose to make the payment in the final third of the payment period. So it wasn't late. And the money comes straight out of my checking account into the mortgage lender's account. But because I chose to pay the bill on the 12th, which I could have easily done by mailing the check at no extra charge other than the cost of the stamp, the online fee is $6.00. Six dollars. A service fee. It will be 14 months of stamps-I-did-not-use before I make that money back.

* * * * * * * * * * *

While I am sharing my limited success with doing business online, I might as well share that I applied for two jobs this week.

I don't often mention it, but I am still looking for a job. Wanted: a position where I leave my house to go someplace else to work with others to make the world a better place. That's my dream anyway.

These days most places prefer that you apply online. Figures, right? It's the 21st century and all that.

I wrote my letters and revised my resume. In one case I had to find the organization's website because although they preferred that the application be submitted online they did not include an email address or website in the ad.

With my "paperwork" checked and double-checked, I attached the documents to an email and clicked send.

Now I wait. Because not every place that wants you to apply online will reply to let you know they got your application.

The organization where I sent an application two weeks ago? I'm still waiting to hear they received it.

Yeah, online is overrated.

Keeping Time With the New and Old

We have been swamped in the last several days with new technology at my house.

Ken has been researching the latest versions of the Sony Cybershot ultra-compact cameras. He decided on the DSC-TX1, which was new in September, to replace the camera I smashed when I fell off the rock pile. The secret is in the Carl Zeiss lens, which is the reason he bought our original digital camera in 2006. Then, as now, he had done his research and knew what he wanted. He was working out of town last week and actually found the camera in a big box store. It has lots of new bells and whistles, but we are slowly learning how to use it. Already I notice that photos are clearer.

Ken has also been looking for a solution to our "two-channels of TV" situation. He found a website with new versions of digital antennas. We decided to order one, which could be returned if it didn't work.

So it was down with the old ~

and up with the new ~

which didn't work that much better until an amplifier (the black box about a quarter of the way up the pole) was added outside and plugged into the TV. Even then it took hours to troubleshoot why we still didn't get the best reception. The problem was the radios that were plugged into the cable; the amplifier does not like FM. Now we have good reception for CBS, in addition to PBS and the local Fox network, and sometimes we can get NBC. I don't blame Ken for wanting CBS, which carries many of the football games ~ the Patriots are having a good year.

By Monday this week I had had it with technology: cars that needed complicated repairs, cameras with new-fangled gadgets, antennas that wouldn't cooperate...and a clock that came back from the clockmaker still not working right. It has been more than three years, and four trips to the clock shop, since our Seth Thomas clock has worked properly. I picked it up from the shop two weeks ago. Ken wound it and started it on Sunday, and the time still did not match the chimes. When I got home from class on Tuesday, Ken was already home. I went about putting things away and starting dinner. He said, "Oh, I fixed the clock." Really? I asked him what the problem was. Ken had taken a moment to study the face as the clock chimed, and he realized that the hour and minute hands were reversed. Finally, a simple fix...for an antique timepiece. That's fitting.

A Poem For Today

In Blackwater Woods

by Mary Oliver

Look, the trees
are turning

their own bodies

into pillars

of light,

are giving off the rich

fragrance of cinnamon

and fulfillment,

the long tapers

of cattails

are bursting and floating away over

the blue shoulders

of the ponds,

and every pond,

no matter what its

name is, is

nameless now.

Every year

everything

I have ever learned

in my lifetime

leads back to this: the fires

and the black river of loss

whose other side

is salvation,

whose meaning

none of us will ever know.

To live in this world

you must be able

to do three things:

to love what is mortal;

to hold it

against your bones knowing

your own life depends on it;

and, when the time comes to let it go,

to let it go.

from New and Selected Poems byMary Oliver, 1992, Beacon Press.

Remember To Vote

Last evening I received an email reminder from my state representative to remember to vote today. I know him personally and couldn't resist a reply.

Everyone in my household has already voted.

We take voting seriously in my family.

Ken learned years ago to vote early because he never knows where he will be working on election day. I have always made sure my kids got absentee ballots while they are away at school. My daughter is at a conference in New Orleans this week, and voting before she left was on her to-do list.

I had a feeling last week that I should vote early. I have class all day today and some errands to run while I'm out of town. It has the potential to be one of those days when things don't go exactly as planned.

At the very least I have taken care of my most important commitment for this first Tuesday in November.

I voted.