Off Coffee

Monday afternoon I called to make an acupuncture appointment for Friday. Monday night I had my last cup of coffee for awhile, partly to impress my acupuncturist and partly because my caffeine intake may be contributing to my recent sleep troubles. Coffee has not kept me from sleeping in the past, but I am ready to try anything, which also explains my first acupuncture appointment in more than a year.

Two weeks ago Ken woke me in the middle of the night because my muffled screams woke him. I remembered the dream [someone was trying to break into a room where another woman and I were copying papers] and while it didn't seem that menacing, I was awake for along time afterward.

Since then I have jolted awake at 4 a.m. more than once. I lay there in a panic and sweating. It has been hard to sort out what the nightmares are.

Something is amiss.

All that I am trying to work through during the daylight hours is now interrupting my nighttime hours as well. This is unfortunate because at the end of the day I look forward to the refuge of sleep.

I have been staying up later and later, which probably contributes to the problem. When it comes to a bedtime, I don't have one. I usually stay up until I can't stay awake any longer.

I realized today that I haven't posted in six days. That hasn't been intentional.

I miss writing, like I miss coffee.

There are things going on in my external life. Things I don't write about here.

There are things going on in my internal life. Things I don't have a handle on and can't explain.

So it makes sense that I haven't posted for some days.

But I will be back tomorrow with a list of what makes me happy. And coffee will be on the list, even though it's off the menu this week.