The Last Lesson of Randy Pausch

*Note: My latest post at 50-something moms blog: Lessons I Learned About Kids and Computers. Also, I am now listed as a contributor under the "About Us" tab on the 50-something moms site. Check it out!

At the moment I am breathless and sweating. I went down to the end our our driveway to pick up the paper and leave letters in the mailbox. Then I just took off walking, as fast I could go. I needed time to reflect and talk to myself. What did I want to write about the death of Randy Pausch?

Earlier this summer Diane Sawyer did a special report for ABC about Randy Pausch and his Last Lecture. If you don't know, Randy was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer last year at age 47, married 8 years with three small children. He was a professor at Carnegie Mellon and gave a lecture, that was to be his last, about the lessons of life. The talk was meant for his children, to be guidance for them when he was no longer there. Through the magic of the internet his lecture was launched to the world and received with open arms.

I learned on Sunday that Randy Pausch died Friday, July 25. I was deeply saddened. It is one thing to know that someone has a terminal illness but something else altogether when that person dies. Last night Diane Sawyer hosted a special update on Randy's last days. He talked about his last trip to the hospital and was shown at home playing with his children and hugging his wife. I held it together until the show flashed back to the end of his lecture when he says, "It's not about your dreams. It's about how you lead your life."

Randy did not know how many days he had left. He made the point that none of us know. It's what he continued to do, right up until his last day on earth, that is the lesson for all of us: he lived his life. His words had a huge impact on me. The video of him laughing with his family at the end of his life made those words real. His dreams did not matter at the point, but how he led his life did.

On today's walk I reminded myself that on Monday's walk I said I was ready for whatever came next. I asked for opportunities to open up and present themselves. That afternoon I read about a contest for an innovation grant on Jamie's blog, where she generously shares whatever she knows with her readers. Monday evening I checked a job board I had bookmarked and found a new job listed that interests me. These were opportunities to pursue my business and apply for a part-time job in my field.

I wasn't home yesterday because I had a hair cut, an acupuncture appointment, and errands to run. During my acupuncture treatment I had a moment where I knew "what to do next" would come to me. I came home to find encouraging words from readers and helpful ideas from a girlfriend who keeps saying, "Absolutely, go for it!"

So I am going for it. I am going to enter the contest for that grant and apply for that job. The journey continues....