Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Sometimes the World is Too Much with Me

In the words of William Wordsworth:
The world is too much with us; late and soon,
Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers;
Little we see in Nature that is ours;
We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!
This Sea that bares her bosom to the moon,
The winds that will be howling at all hours,
And are up-gathered now like sleeping flowers,
For this, for everything, we are out of tune;
It moves us not....

The first part of this poem was going through my mind this morning when it felt like the world was out of sync. I needed calm and quiet. I needed the world to stop for a moment.

It started last night when I turned on the PBS NewsHour to get the news of the day. When Russian tanks were shown rolling into Georgia, I turned off the television. Enough was enough. I needed a break from countries at war, John Edwards' affair, political campaign rhetoric, the energy crisis, roads washed out in southern Maine due to a summer of rain, and all the other turmoil in the world.

If I couldn't get the world to stop, I could create my own cocoon of quiet. The television, computer, and stereo remained silent. When thoughts of what I could be doing surfaced, I gently pushed them aside. I needed a break. I wished I had someone to talk to about how I was feeling....

The phone rang. It was my husband calling to say he would be working very late tonight. Okay. I hoped that didn't count as the answer to my wish....

The phone rang again. This time it was my daughter. I forgot she had time off today to go to the dentist. On Sunday she was here for dinner, and she wanted to know if my family got off okay. I told her I was taking a break from the turmoil and negative energy that is swirling. There is little good news locally or nationally, and the Olympics are only a temporary diversion from the world situation. We talked about how the earth itself seems to be reacting to the chaos and violence with extreme weather. Each of us had decided this morning that we needed some quiet time.

Then the conversation turned to things that have gone right in the past few days: the time spent with family, a positive site visit for her residency, successful deliveries of healthy babies, connections with friends through phone calls and emails, and the appearance of the sun on a breezy day in August. Those positives are the "cream that rises to the top," the things we can focus on and hold onto.

There are countless things that I have no control over and cannot change. I am learning to gently lead my mind away from thinking about the "things that are not my business," as Oprah would say. I can find the positive energy within, and without, and focus on that. Then I find that my day heads in a different direction.

A little while after my conversation with my daughter, the phone rang again. I had applied for a part-time position a few weeks ago. The woman was calling to say that position had been filled, but there was another position that hadn't been advertised yet. It is a full-time, supervisory position. Is this anything I would be interested in? Yes. Yes, it is.

This may be evidence of positive thinking. Just in case, I am going to keep at it to see what else might happen.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I related to so much of this post. When I watch too much news on TV, or read the papers, I find it very hard to maintain a positive attitude. Lately I've been following Marianne Williamson's advice and being very selective about what newspapers and magazines I allow myself to read. There's so much junk out there. Periodically, I have to take a "fast" from television news, which is usually sensational, if not depressing.