Lars and Vegas

In the past month I have seen two movies, compliments of Netflix, that have given me two questions to ponder this year.

In early December I read Elaine's post, followed by positive comments, about Lars and the Real Girl. When it was in theaters I saw previews but wasn't sure what to think. I asked Ken if he was game to watch it, and he said sure. I ordered it up, and we watched it the first chance we got. I was not disappointed. I thoroughly enjoyed this endearing, humorous, sensitive movie. I agree with Cindy when she said it's about community. The characters in the film care about, and take care of, each other. This is a movie I will watch again.

I know a movie has made an impression when the message stays with me. My first question for the year is, "What is real?" I am paying attention to my perceptions of a situation, my reactions, and my feelings at any point in time in terms of what is real. I remember Lars and his coping strategies. I think about his family and neighbors. It has helped me put things in perspective.

The second movie that offered a question for me to ponder this year couldn't be more different from the first. New Year's Eve, for the fun of it, Ken and I watched What Happens in Vegas. The previews foretold silliness and slapstick humor, which carried on for most of the movie. The poignant question was posed near the end, when Ashton Kutcher's character asks Cameron Diaz, "When was the last time you were happy?" It obviously gives her a lot to think about as she remembers when and where she last felt happy, completely content with where she was and what she was doing.

That question was like a splash of cold water for me. When was I last happy? 2006. That was the year I turned 50, my son P graduated from college, my son T graduated from high school, and Ken and I traveled to San Francisco. Celebrations. Dreams fulfilled. My sense of myself was secure. I knew who I was and what I wanted. That fall I returned to classes, and even though I was disappointed in the program, I knew I would get what I needed because I knew what I wanted.

My second question for this year is, "What makes me happy?" I am starting slowly. I have made my bed a worry-free zone. At night I concentrate on how the sheets feel and how my body is relaxing. When I wake up, I listen to the house sounds, see what the weather is doing outside, and plan to do one thing that will make me happy that day.

My questions for the year: What is real? What makes me happy? One week into the new year I feel like I am on the right track.