Making Decisions

The first day in class we reviewed the decision-making model: define the problem, do the research, consider personal values, choose one alternative, implement the decision, and evaluate the outcome. The process is circular and makes sense - on the board. Then a person injects their personal tendencies into the process, and the process gets interesting.

When I have a big decision to make, I tend toward an agonizing attitude. I gather a lot of information. I am good at doing the research. Then I consider the pros and cons. Sometimes I even make a list. Often I get stalled when it's time to decide, and if I do make the decision I question if it was the right decision. I consider the what-ifs, worried that there might have been a better way or that mistakes will result, as if worrying protects against a less than perfect result.

The best thing about the discussion with other "agonizers" was that we identified positives about our process. I wasn't the only one who waited until the last day to submit the application for this training, and in the end we did decide to apply. We found the humor in the way we work through decisions and talked about ways to move the process along.

The whole-group discussion included the observation that most decisions can be be modified along the way. If there is a mistake to be made, it's better to make it, learn from it, and do something differently next time.

Few decisions are perfect or permanent.

I lose time when I sit on the fence. I waste energy when I continue to think about a decision that has already been made.

Later in the day, during a discussion about a positive relationship with money, a missing piece fell into place for me around making decisions.

Our facilitator shared this quote:

Settle with the past,
engage with the present,
and believe in the future.
[Today I found the source ~ it's from the movie Cheaper by the Dozen 2.]

I like the simplicity of the quote. It was the last part that resonated with me.

Believe in the future. I thought about that in relation to my decision-making process. When I believe in the future, I am better able to make a decision, whether it's to return to school or color my hair. It is when I lose my optimism about what lies ahead that I agonize too much over decisions and find myself stalled. I am afraid to take a risk when I worry about what the future holds.

I don't need to know what will happen in the future. I need to believe that things will work out, one way or another. I will do the research, weigh the alternatives, and make the best decision I can based on what I know. I will deal with the consequences and make changes along the way if necessary.

For thirty years I was able to make decisions about what's best for my family because I believed in our future. Now that my children are making their own decisions, I can focus on making decisions for myself.

I can believe in my future.