Thirty-Three Years Ago Today, Exactly

Friday the thirteenth, June 1975. That was the evening of my first date with Ken. I should say my first official date. We had been meeting "by accident" at a local Dunkin' Donuts for weeks. We both knew the owner and people who frequented the donut shop, and we were both night-owls...so each of us just happened to stop in around midnight for a cup of joe...wink, wink. By the time we actually went out we knew each other pretty well. Since mid-May we had spent hours in conversation over coffee and cigarettes.

That first date formalized a relationship that started the moment we shared glimpses of our lives with each other. I had already fallen in love and decided this was the man I was going to marry. I had never known a man to be so gentle and patient. Ken's sense of humor matched mine. He had wanderlust and talked about living in Maine someday.

For our big evening he chose a steakhouse known for its quality and atmosphere. It was all I expected. I was more nervous than I thought I would be, but as the evening went on I relaxed and enjoyed the uninterrupted time with this new man in my life. Live music was offered in the lounge, so we stopped in after dinner. That was when Ken told me he had given up cigarettes ~ the price had gone up another nickel so he decided that he was done, which I figured meant I was done, too. I didn't want to smell like stale smoke while he smelled all fresh and clean. It wasn't that I smoked that much, but I enjoyed the habit with coffee and conversation. [I didn't regret my decision, but to this day I occasionally have a dream where I am smoking a cigarette.]

Neither one of us wanted the evening to end so we went for drive, then a walk, and then back to my house for coffee. At four in the morning he left for home, after he kissed me on the nose and said he'd call me later.

We did see each other later that day and almost every day after that for the rest of the summer. Ken had a steady job and I had summer work, but we didn't have much money. Most of our time together involved family and friends. We didn't know what the future held. We did know we were in love.

I have often rethought the chain of events that brought Ken and me together 33 years ago. When I look back everything makes sense, but we had no way of knowing at the time that things would work out. We trusted each other to be there, no matter what. The other night I asked Ken how long a person can be expected to stand by their spouse, and he said, "A very long time, Sharon." That's the man I first dated 33 years ago. That's the man I love.