Saturday, November 9, 2013

A Long Way

There is a popular saying in Maine:  You can't there from here.  Literally, there are rural parts of the state that are not on major roads so a person has to piece together a route to get there.  For instance, there is no main road that travels east to west so you have to drive north or south and find connecting secondary roads to travel across Maine.   Some places are so far off the beaten track that you need every route number along the way and mileage from one turn to the next.

While this situation can make travel challenging, it can also make it interesting.  On the way from one place to another a traveler has to pass through other places not on the itinerary but necessary for the journey.  You don't always know what you might see along the way, and it's possible that you will get lost.

In my family we also use the phrase when something seems impossible.  You can't get there from here   does not mean that the thing will never be possible, but that it feels that way  ~ because the leap is too long or the distance is too great or too much needs to happen in the interim.  Sometimes we say it with a chuckle.  Sometimes we say it with a sigh.

This phrase came to mind as I thought about today.

This afternoon there was a baby shower in California.

Today, physically, I couldn't get there from here.  It would have been nice to be there, but it's a big deal to go.  It's a long trip each way, about 3000 miles and 12 hours of travel by car, bus, and plane.  It takes planning to go and time to travel.  It can be expensive.

Emotionally, the distance is great.  My son and his wife live near San Francisco.  He calls at least once a week to catch me up on what's going on at home and at work.  I miss him as much now as I did when he moved more than four years ago.  That will never change.

What will change is that in six weeks my son will become a father.  Peter is excited ~ he will be a good dad.  Claudia is excited ~ she will be a good mom.  I am excited for them because they want a family.

The distance is great.  It's so hard to see how I will be a part of their lives, a real living breathing part that matters, not a once or twice a year visitor who is but a voice on the phone or a face on the computer.  It's hard to know how to be a presence when not present.  It's hard to plan how to be a place to come home to and not just a vacation destination.  

I can't see how to get there from here.  I am trying but I can't see it yet....   

3 comments:

RURAL said...

I see Skype...I know it's not touching, and being there in person, but it is live. Congrats on soon to be a Grandma.

We kept in touch with my family through Skype when we lived so far away from them. We fooled my parents, by connecting to my sister's computer, and posing like a family photo. We didn't move, my Mom and Dad were told to look at the screen. They were happy to see us, and then...we spoke to them. I still giggle to remember the look on their faces when the family photo spoke to them.

It's not perfect, but it is real...and if the road doesn't get there, then the detour will have to do won't it?

Jen

Helen said...

This morning I texted my son to see if it was a good time to connect by phone. He and his wife are out stroller shopping with the maternal great-grandma in waiting. We will catch up between shopping and the Ravens game.

I hear you, my grandmother-in-waiting-friend. Like you, I cannot get there from here.

Carolynn Anctil said...

That's hard, Sharon. You just never know how life will unfold, though. The Universe has a way of making things work out for the best and in ways our minds could never conceive of on their own. Grace and all it's attendant angels will conspire on your behalf, I just know it.

Blessings and congratulations to your son and his wife!