Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Heart On A String

On Friday I had an appointment with my massage therapist. It works well when I see her soon after I see my doctor because she is able to follow up and together we dig deeper into what's going on with my body. I first talked about what has changed in the past month, and then about how the doctor felt something deep in my breastbone. We talked about how our bodies can hold emotions and experiences for years and years.

Then she asked me where I wanted her to start. I thought about how my body was feeling and had her start on my back, where it turned out every muscle was tight and not moving. She spent almost the entire session working the muscles all up and down my back.

At one point she asked me if I could "see" anything in the area around my heart. Almost immediately an image came to mind, and I waited to see if it would diminish or disappear. It didn't and has been on my mind ever since.

I saw a heart on a string that runs between my spine and breastbone. The heart is able to move back and forth while it stays on the string.

We stayed with that image while she continued to massage my back. She asked if I knew why my heart was on a string. I said that it was so it wouldn't get lost, that I would be able to find it when I needed it. She asked how I was feeling, and I said I was feeling happy. My heart was happy.

We talked about how we often expect that if something has been stashed away or buried for a long time we think it means it will be scary or hard to face. She said that sometimes what we find brings us joy.

Maybe what I have found is my joy in me. It has been put away for safe keeping for a very long time because there was no place for it until now.

There is more to know. For now this is enough.

6 comments:

Joanne said...

Hm, could it be that you are reeling your heart back in? Telling it that it's time to be in its rightful place? Hope so :)

Anne said...

Wonderful!

There's a book and philosphy by Eugene Gendlin that you might like called "Focusing".

This sounds so wonderful. Such hope and joy and learning. Also - what a wonderful idea to have the massage coincide with other information you're getting to really work with your body.

Laura said...

"I said that it was so it wouldn't get lost, that I would be able to find it when I needed it." Oh Sharon dear, I'm so very happy you have found your heart, your joy and that you were so very wise in placing it on a string. I have this image in my own mind of my mother taking a ribbon and threading it through my winter jacket pinning mittens to the ends, so they wouldn't get lost...and I'm imagining your childhood heart-mitten pinned to one end and your adult heart-mitten pinned to the other...connecting you to yourself.

gentle steps sweet friend♥

Carolynn Anctil said...

I find this process of healing you do, very intriguing. It sounds like a very gifted and open minded group of practitioners you work with.

Blessings and happy healing!

teri said...

Your journey and your story continue to draw me in. Isn't it good to have a masseuse who knows your body?

CaShThoMa said...

I've enjoyed your posts reporting on the massage therapist and how intuitive she is in bringing out what's waiting to be explored. Her techniques remind me a bit of the Phoenix Rising Yoga, a spin-off of traditional yoga (you can read about it on line). I've attending some of these classes, including several 1:1 with a PRY practitioner named Soleil here in Seattle. It has been years since I've been but as a result of those PRY classes/experiences, I was catalyzed to explore (and reveal to the light) a darkness held inside of me for over 30 years.